fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #7043 ]

[ SECRET POST #7043 ]

⌈ Secret Post #7043 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Pokemon go]

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[The Amazing Digital Circus]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 40 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1006.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I love my brother but I struggle with how his version of the past always sounds like he's making things up. It's always some details are correct, but the other details are completely baseless and sounds more like things he made up so he can talk about political shit he's obsessed with but no one else wants to talk about it (lately it's been about Russia).

It worries me.

He seems like he's in his own world and convinced everything he thinks is the absolute truth. But he can be SO WRONG sometimes and I have no idea where he is getting the details he's so convinced are right but in reality it's completely wrong.

Earlier this week he was venting to me about how our youngest brother had charged $30k at a casino and the debt has our dad worried sick. I spoke with my youngest brother and he said my dad was on his ass about paying for an expensive medical bill AND that our dad asked him about 2 $300 (THREE ZERO ZERO, THREE HUNDRED) charges at a casino. Youngest bro thinks maybe mom and/or dad had charged the card when they went out to the casinos because the charges were a month ago.
After my own digging, I put together that the money withdrawn from my parents' credit card happened on the weekend my dad was out of town in Cali and my mom had gone out to the casinos with some aunties.
Based off a history of knowing my family, my mom likely got caught up in the fun with the aunties and took money out (she's done this before, my older sister and I have multiple stories about dad asking us as teens and into our adult years to help him understand bank and credit card statements).
When caught, mom threw one of her kids under the bus and said they were the one to steal money from dad (she's done this before, it used to be my older sister she'd throw under the bus and now it's my youngest brother; I suspect my mom throws them under the bus because they're the ones out of me and siblings who have needed the most help with finances).
Upon the smallest of digging, and poking holes in my mom's story, my mom folds over and admits that she was the one who charged the card.

Having parents who have no faith in their kids to be decent people and who casually tell revisionist stories of the past to make themselves look better, I am one of those really annoying people who gets caught up in getting accurate details and am super adamant about being honest. I keep and check receipts. I LOVE AND PREFER direct and open communication because reading between the lines or having to come up with one's own conclusions have never served me well.
So yeah....it doesn't sit well with me that one of my brothers is always telling stories of half truths, and he seems unaware that he is telling memories that sound made up.

And yeah, I know my mom sucks
:( I love her and she's done a lot for the family, but she's so immature and selfish. I...for the most part, understand and accept that my relationship with my mom is what it is. We can't ever have one of those close almost sisterhood-like relationships, and...it is what it is. It's been easier dealing with my mom after accepting her for who she is than be sad and hope she can show up for her kids one day.

Oof, that resonates, anon. I,too, tend to be one of those detail-oriented keeping proof of stuff because my parents also do the same thing. It's partly a memory issue, but that's not all it is. They like rewriting history to make themselves look good, and if it means throwing someone else under the bus, so be it. They like that version of history so much better that it's impossible to convince them that stuff didn't happen. I keep the receipts for myself and anyone else so I know they're full of it. Occasionally I do shame the crap out of them. It doesn't really accomplish much in the long run, but frankly, they deserve to be called out and made uncomfortable even if it's only for a short while.

I can see where your brother might've picked up some really dysfunctional habits of poor ways of coping with life. You've gone another direction with the checking and keeping records. It's funny sometimes how the same environment affects people two different ways. Similarly, I've known people with alcoholic parents who refuse to touch a drop, and I've known people with alcoholic parents who also have issues with drinking.

I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

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[ SECRET POST #7043 ]

long family vent

Re: long family vent

Re: long family vent