fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #7043 ]

[ SECRET POST #7043 ]

⌈ Secret Post #7043 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Pokemon go]

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[The Amazing Digital Circus]

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Perfect! Because I have a vent!

Walgreens has these little acrylic photo blocks they sell, and they run promos on them fairly often. $3 each, or 3 of them for $10, or whatever. They sent me an email on Wednesday that they had a buy 1, get 2 free promo through today.

I didn't find the email until Wednesday when I was going to bed, and then I worked late on Thursday, so yesterday morning I got up and put my order together. It let me order 9 for the price of 3, great!

I had them sent to the local Walgreens near me. It said they would be ready at noon.

Shortly before noon, I got an email that my order was delayed. That's fine - no rush, I honestly don't care if it takes a week.

Yesterday evening I googled a little and found some people who said their order was ready but the status never updated, so I figured I'd call this morning to check on them.

Well, before the store even opened, I got an email that they couldn't process my order and they were cancelled. :( But they suggested trying to send the order to another store.

The second-closest store to me is 30 minutes away, so I thought fine, I'll let them mail it to me. You have to pay shipping but whatever.

I got the order ready AGAIN (kind of a pain) and when I tried to submit it, it says, system error, please try again later.

Ahhhhh!!!! I just want my stupid little photo squares!!!! I'm beginning to think it's just not meant to be.

I'm tired of having insomnia. That's all.

I feel this so hard. So sorry, nonny. Does it come in waves for you? I mean, it is always there. But sometimes there will be weeks in a row where I barely sleep, even on the weekends.

I had a new person doing my hair today because the salon squeezed me in. She was pulling my hair the entire time, it really hurt. I said something a few times, only helped for a minute or two. Also she put hairspray in my hair after I told her I don't usually use hairspray because it doesn't work for my hair. She claimed this hairspray would be different. We'll see.

Honestly if this is a salon you’ve been going to a while I’d have a private word with the manager. The hairspray isn’t the issue, salons are more about selling product than anything but the hair pulling and needing to be told repeatedly is definitely an issue. The salon needs to know they’re employing someone who doesn’t have one of the minimum skills for certification and employment.

A friend went to her obgyn because she suddenly had some pain in her armpit and breast and they told her it was likely hormonal. Now, I've been having intense pain in the same area as well for a while now (I'm 40 and believe I'm starting on the whole perimenopause thing because there are several clear signs for it) so I know what she's going through but I feel like I can't really tell her because I don't want to seem like I'm trying to one-up her or make some sort of competition out of it.

Is that what that is? I have a family history of breast cancer and was sure it was that, but my scans were all clear. I didn't even learn that perimenopause was a thing until a year ago. Why does no one teach us this stuff?????

I mean, it can have different reasons but if scans are clear and especially if you're over 35 it's likely hormonal, possibly linked to perimenopause. Though this kind of pain can also be a PMS symptom in general, it apparently can get worse with age. I need to get an appointment sometime to rule out anything malignant myself but since I have other symptoms that point towards perimenopause, I'm not that worried. Also, as shitty as it is, with cancer, it's usually pain free until it's already really far along so if scans show nothing it's very unlikely to be cancer.

I'm in my mid 40s with extremely clear breast tissue. Like, the nurse excitedly showed me then and there how clear my tissue was and how easy anything would be to spot, so I was just resigned to being in pain randomly with no cause. Makes total sense it would be puberty 2 electric boogaloo.

Yeah, I got the same, had a scan, and it was completely clear. But you should go get the scan because there's a chance that it's something else. Phrase it as thanking her for helping you realise it was something that should be checked out.

Alas, the embroidery class turned out pretty badly. I'm not sure the girl running it really knew how to teach (that she started out just saying "Oh, draw a design" without any templates or suggestions for raw newbies like myself was probably a warning sign), plus, as it turns out, 14-count Aida cloth is really not the stuff to be using to come up with embroidery for a pendant roughly the size of a quarter. I got so frustrated I cleaned up my mess and left while she was overseeing another person who was obviously more experienced than I.

I suppose I could have at least taken the tiny embroidery frame with me but considering that I'm still working my way through a basic cross stitch piece I had before this...

14 count Aida is great for basic cross-stitch, but I wouldn't use it for other types of embroidery. Was everyone supposed to embroider a small pendant, or was that just your project?

No, it was everyone. I think what happened was this: to make it easier to embroider, 3" cross-stitch kits (3" loop, loaded with Aida cloth) were bought; you'd embroider on those and then cut out the piece to fit into the pendant frame. But the Aida cloth was not optimal.

Admittedly, I am pretty unfamiliar with embroidering on standard cloth as opposed to Aida (I had a go at a rather complex cross stitch as a first project and burned out; I will probably scrap it completely and start over). That said, I have now handled Aida cloth enough to know that it's rather stiff and has a coarse weave, which is fine even at a 3" size, but not so much at 1" (or maybe slightly smaller).

(Aside: said complicated cross stitch is here: https://cdn-shop.adafruit.com/ohm-sweet-ohm-printout.pdf. I am working on a simpler if somewhat eye-straining kit now: https://subversivecrossstitch.com/products/3-d-cross-stitch-kit-with-glasses)

Yeah, I'd never use 14 count aida and try to stitch something that small, unless it was like... tiny and super basic. 28 linen maybe, or felt. You need fabric that's a lot more pliable, 14 count has enormous holes that are going to look bad on a small scale project.

My mother-in-law is staying with us and is both lazy AND demanding, and my back hurts.

Fish and houseguests both stink after three days.

I was thinking about posting to this thread and venting some old grief I had about my childhood and it made me think back to what a sad, anxious kid I was. I hated it when adults didn't take me seriously just because I was small. It made me want to cry when I made mistakes because I'd get yelled at it made fun of by my own parents and I knew I couldn't cry because that would make it worse. I was anxious all the time, worried about failing at everything, worried about being a burden and being stupid and growing up to be a bigger failure. I was so scared to try new things because I didn't have any confidence in myself that I wouldn't screw it up or ruin it. I loved daydreaming and playing imaginary games with myself, but I hid it from my parents because they'd scold me for wasting time or being childish even when I was literally a child.

I don't have kids myself, and don't want any. But I think back on the lonely, introverted munchkin with her nose always buried in a book and I think jesus fucking christ, what a sad little girl. She's going to grow up and have so many problems. :(

I feel that. That's largely how I grew up too, emotionally immature parent who couldn't deal with life and only loved kids when they were cute and well behaved and not anything demanding actual parental responsibility. I've had the experience of trying new things ruined so many times because I had the audacity to not be an automatic genius at something I knew nothing about. I was also mocked for not knowing things they never bothered to teach me. I'm pretty sure they're the reason I have a history of raging when I mess up at hobbies, due to not being allowed to make mistakes (I've gotten more aware of this and am trying to get better at it, which is difficult when I can't tell the difference between that and menopause). Add in isolation because they didn't like it when I had friends either.

And it would have made all the difference in the world if just one mature, caring, responsible adult had seen me and let me know they had my back. I might have a circle I feel safe in now, a better career, maybe I'd be someplace completely different.

I love my brother but I struggle with how his version of the past always sounds like he's making things up. It's always some details are correct, but the other details are completely baseless and sounds more like things he made up so he can talk about political shit he's obsessed with but no one else wants to talk about it (lately it's been about Russia).

It worries me.

He seems like he's in his own world and convinced everything he thinks is the absolute truth. But he can be SO WRONG sometimes and I have no idea where he is getting the details he's so convinced are right but in reality it's completely wrong.

Earlier this week he was venting to me about how our youngest brother had charged $30k at a casino and the debt has our dad worried sick. I spoke with my youngest brother and he said my dad was on his ass about paying for an expensive medical bill AND that our dad asked him about 2 $300 (THREE ZERO ZERO, THREE HUNDRED) charges at a casino. Youngest bro thinks maybe mom and/or dad had charged the card when they went out to the casinos because the charges were a month ago.
After my own digging, I put together that the money withdrawn from my parents' credit card happened on the weekend my dad was out of town in Cali and my mom had gone out to the casinos with some aunties.
Based off a history of knowing my family, my mom likely got caught up in the fun with the aunties and took money out (she's done this before, my older sister and I have multiple stories about dad asking us as teens and into our adult years to help him understand bank and credit card statements).
When caught, mom threw one of her kids under the bus and said they were the one to steal money from dad (she's done this before, it used to be my older sister she'd throw under the bus and now it's my youngest brother; I suspect my mom throws them under the bus because they're the ones out of me and siblings who have needed the most help with finances).
Upon the smallest of digging, and poking holes in my mom's story, my mom folds over and admits that she was the one who charged the card.

Having parents who have no faith in their kids to be decent people and who casually tell revisionist stories of the past to make themselves look better, I am one of those really annoying people who gets caught up in getting accurate details and am super adamant about being honest. I keep and check receipts. I LOVE AND PREFER direct and open communication because reading between the lines or having to come up with one's own conclusions have never served me well.
So yeah....it doesn't sit well with me that one of my brothers is always telling stories of half truths, and he seems unaware that he is telling memories that sound made up.

And yeah, I know my mom sucks
:( I love her and she's done a lot for the family, but she's so immature and selfish. I...for the most part, understand and accept that my relationship with my mom is what it is. We can't ever have one of those close almost sisterhood-like relationships, and...it is what it is. It's been easier dealing with my mom after accepting her for who she is than be sad and hope she can show up for her kids one day.

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[ SECRET POST #7043 ]

Vents & Complaints

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I made myself sad.

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long family vent