[ SECRET POST #7050 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #7050 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


01.




__________________________________________________



02.



__________________________________________________



03.



__________________________________________________



04.



__________________________________________________



05.



__________________________________________________



06.



__________________________________________________



07.

















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 39 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1007.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

06. https://i.postimg.cc/rF87wjxm/11.png

Transcript by OP

[fscom]

I feel like hetero smut doesn't appeal to me because I hate men acting like Men, and having to be sexual with someone acting like that is so off-putting. I wish there were more odd kinks and such instead of just dominant growly men being dominant and possessive. It makes me feel like I could never have a decent sex life because anyone who could be attracted to me would probably want to dominate me and force me into a submissive role.

Re: Transcript by OP

[(Anonymous)]

Eh, there is gentle vanilla m/f smut too. That's what I read.

[philstar22]

I didn't make this secret, but I might as well have. I really only read M/M and F/F when it comes to smut. I'd probably read more M/F if there was more variety, more with the woman the one with more experience, more with the woman being the more dominant one, just more variety in general.

[pengilly]

I like all kinds of smut, but I'm especially partial to F/M femdom (it was one of many, many hints that I was bi, because after awhile I realized that I was projecting maybe a little too much onto the male sub. Haha)

But yeah, since you mentioned an actual sex life, it may be hard to find a guy who is into that, especially depending on your area.

[(Anonymous)]

I wholeheartedly share your hatred for M/F smut, for many of those same reasons, among others.

That said, if you are into M/F on a conceptual level, and just want something a little less 'traditional uncomfortable power dynamics', the "femdom" tag might be a little closer to your field of interest.

[(Anonymous)]

Standard M/F smut blindly incorporates maledom kink without realizing its a kink, created and consumed by people with the maledom kink that don't think of it as kink and don't portray or regard it as such.

It's very funny to me

[philstar22]

This right here. It basically assumes sex, even non-kinky sex, always involves male dom. Just weird and annoying. I'll happily take full on M/F male dom of that, at least then the rules are there and it isn't pretending to be something it isn't.

[(Anonymous)]

+1. I do sometimes read M/F smut if it's characters I like and am interested in, and it's kind of hilarious how often it suddenly turns into this cookie cutter gender role bullshit. Even when it's totally wrong for the character! I have one M/F ship where the woman is slightly but noticeably taller than the man and you wouldn't believe the number of fics and artworks that have to "correct" that because how can he be growly dominant alpha man otherwise?

OP

[(Anonymous)]

And that is why I'm afraid of having sex with a man. 'Kinky' automatically means maledom kink, but vanilla sex is also maledom, maybe a milder version of it, but still. Not appealing.

I've seen a therapist person on Facebook (a woman, too) telling men to just introduce this kink into their marriage without discussing it. She did mention having a safeword, but specifically said not to tell the wife about it - just start telling her what to do. And listed a bunch of signs that a wife might want her husband to be sexually dominant. The first 'sign' was 'she's a woman.'

I've also seen men encouraging each other to just hit women during sex without asking, and shutting down any women who disagreed.

I actually saw someone on Tumblr saying that romance novels aren't actually romance if the man isn't dominant, though she did say the woman doesn't have to be submissive (maybe in personality outside of sex? Otherwise, I'm not sure how that would work).

I don't feel like it's a boundary I'd even be allowed to have. Like someone else just decided my sexuality for me and any dumb little noises coming out of my mouth about it need to be ignored.

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

She did mention having a safeword, but specifically said not to tell the wife about it
That's rapey and violent as fuck. I'd report this person on FB

[(Anonymous)]

I wish young men would stop thinking irl sex is anything like porn, and that young (?) women would stop thinking irl sex is anything like in smutty booktok bestsellers.

When you find a truly good partner to bump uglies with you can and should talk about sex and your expectations, triggers, non-negotiables and kinks with them FIRST.

There are aspects in boning that not the horny books nor porn will show. Weird sounds, positions not working or getting tiring, awkwardness and fumbling. But if you are with a good partner, there's also joy and laughter, discovery and delight :)

[(Anonymous)]

This, 1000%

[(Anonymous)]

Oh saaaaame. I don't mind men being growly, dominant, and possessive - but only when they're doing it to other men.

It's so boring in a het relationship because most of the media, and society at large, treats it as if it were expected, as if it were a relationship standard, when it's actually a kink - and until society changes (I'm not gonna hold my breath), I'm going to hate it in het ships.

[iff_and_xor]

I think I understand the fear, but I would like to say that in my experience, there are so so many heterosexual men out in the real world who aren’t anything like that in their sex lives.

So I hope you don’t let it psych you out too much.

[(Anonymous)]

Hetero smut comes in a wide variety. I don't like it when male dom/female sub is just assumed, but I don't like fandom's standard Awesome Lady Pegs and Doms the Inferior Male Because That is Just How Awesome Ladies Have Sex that shows up all the time in my fandoms, either. I also don't like the attitude on the part of many fans that their female fave would never sub for a man in the bedroom and therefore anyone who writes it is not only doing fandom wrong but also doing woman-ing wrong.

I do think there's a huge difference between a negotiated, consensual d/s kinky relationship or encounter and the assumption that male dom/female sub is and should always be the default. Culturally, at least in the US, sex has been something for and about men, and only men, at least in the culture where I grew up. Cyndi Lauper's "She Bop" was considered very scandalous back in the 1980s, and the rise of purity culture in the decades since has made things even worse than they were then.

I get why some people don't like it and don't want to read it, especially in the political climate we have now. Just don't be a dick about it if it's tagged, please.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

I get some of this. I don't like the idea that a woman dominating a man is based on the idea that he's inferior. Being a sub doesn't make a person inferior and shouldn't be portrayed as a sign that someone is. Ideally, the submissive is submissive because they enjoy being submissive.

I also get an annoyance at pegging being the go-to for more dominant women. I'm not against pegging, I just don't like the conflating of pegging and femdom. Some people in fandom definitely think penetration = dominant and being penetrated = submissive and it shows.

I even once saw someone saying that a Strong Female Character who canonically had a child must have adopted them because a character with her traits would never have had non-pegging sex... yeah, I don't like that!

Re: OP

[philstar22]

Oh, yes. I like pegging, but pegging doesn't have to happen when the woman is dominant, and I hate the idea it does. I've also seen people insist foot fetish stuff has to happen in femdom, and that's weird too. Just, no. Femdom just means a woman is taking a dominant role. Just like top/bottom aren't the same as dom/sub in M/M fics. You could also have pegging in maledom het fics. Roles and sex positions are not the same thing.

[feotakahari]

I just don’t like the standard fictional dom, male or female. They remind me of Donald Trump.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, that's definitely a massive turnoff!

Ick. That's the last person I'd want to think about in a sexual way.

[(Anonymous)]

+100 to all of this.

Now I need some brain bleach to get rid of the Donnie in my brain.