case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2010-02-04 05:21 pm

[ SECRET POST #1126 ]


⌈ Secret Post #1126 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 078 secrets from Secret Submission Post #161.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - take it to comments ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

[identity profile] beandelphiki.livejournal.com 2010-02-05 08:03 am (UTC)(link)
It's not remotely like "blue eyes." Blue eyes are a genetic trait. Circumcised dicks are obviously not.

And while it's true that men rarely have any say in whether they're cut or not...that may very well be the other poster's problem. I don't actually think it's that difficult to see how someone would be put off by evidence of a procedure they consider mutilation.

It's certainly more logical than being turned off by foreskin because you're not used to it and think it's icky!


Personally I prefer uncut dicks because...well, that's the way they're meant to be. I don't have a problem with cut penises (i.e. I still think they're hot), but I do tend to feel like they look like they're missing something. Because they are. I can totally see how that might be off-putting to someone else.

[identity profile] kaatsu.livejournal.com 2010-02-05 08:09 am (UTC)(link)
+1, especially the last bit. With cut porn, my brain never stops going "something here is strange".

(Anonymous) 2010-02-05 05:38 pm (UTC)(link)
I wasn't going for the genetic angle, I was going for the 'have no choice' angle. weather it be for religious or cultural reasons which play a huge part in a persons life, one could argue a bigger play than genetics.

What's really getting me is that it's considered mutilation. Mutilation implies deliberate harm done, but here there's none. It was done for reasons that make sense mixed in with religion and culture. Really, it's arrogant to call it mutilation, because it's not. It's not castration.


I have no problem with people having preferences, different stroke, different folks, right? But out right saying you think circumcision is gross, well, obviously rude and uneducated, and incredibly insulting to people who had no say in being circumcised or not.

[identity profile] 51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com 2010-02-05 06:57 pm (UTC)(link)
I completely agree with you.

Absolutely none of the circumcised men with whom I've been in relationships expressed any issues regarding this.

Way to give people a complex over a bit of skin.

[identity profile] beandelphiki.livejournal.com 2010-02-05 07:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Uh, no. (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomsecrets/430210.html?thread=249009026#t249009026)

And it's not "a bit of skin." Please educate yourself on what a foreskin actually is (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foreskin), and what it's for.

Absolutely none of the circumcised men with whom I've been in relationships expressed any issues regarding this.

Of course they didn't. It's their dick. Men have an enormous amount of emotional energy invested in the all-revered penis. And certainly no one wants to feel like something undesirable has happened to the most intimate part of their body. Part of what keeps circumcision alive is the emotional investment already-cut men have in the practice.

But the guys you've been with have also been lucky. Undoubtedly, their circumcisions went okay, and their sexual function was normal.

But many circumcisions don't. Many are done poorly, and leave men unable to have sex without experiencing pain. Some are done so badly that infant boys die of complications associated with the procedure.

If you don't think there ARE cut men who feel they've been violated, then you obviously aren't aware of the practice of foreskin restoration. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foreskin_restoration)

[identity profile] 51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com 2010-02-05 08:23 pm (UTC)(link)
I am aware of that, and know there are men who feel this way, but men who seek out foreskin restoration are a relatively small percentage of people. And there are a relatively small percentage of men who are advised to be circumcised for medical reasons as well.

Part of what keeps circumcision alive is the emotional investment already-cut men have in the practice.

I don't disagree with this - people opt for circumcision often because dad looks that way, and don't really think about it either way.

My point is that making men who are circumcised, which is usually something people don't get to decide for themselves, feel as if they're somehow lesser, or maimed, or unattractive to others is not cool. Just as the "foreskins! eww!" opinion is hurtful to uncut men.

Body dysmorphia goes both ways, and most people try to make the most of what we've got, whether nature or surgery was involved.



[identity profile] beandelphiki.livejournal.com 2010-02-05 09:20 pm (UTC)(link)
But was the person who started this thread trying to do that? She said she finds cut dicks gross. Well, okay? How the hell is that anyone's business? She's perfectly allowed to think cut dicks are gross. Plenty of people on this thread have said otherwise.

If you don't think it's okay to say that, well, then it would be logical to say that it's not ever okay to say that you find someone unattractive for any reason. Because you might hurt their feelings.

If you don't hold that stance, your position is pretty hypocritical.

[identity profile] 51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com 2010-02-05 10:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Anybody is allowed to think anything they want to, but you know there are probably men on this thread and I don't know anything about their cocks. There are certainly men writing and reading in my main fandom. This isn't a booth scene in Sex and the City where all the girls are sipping cosmos and literally sizing up their dates.

It's okay to think anything about someone else's body (cut or uncut) is gross or unattractive, but unkind to voice it. If a bunch of men were here bagging on breasts which look like mine, you bet I'd feel kind of hurt.

ETA: Having a preference isn't the same as "EW! THE OTHER OPTION IS HORRIBLE!" I realise that.
Edited 2010-02-05 22:18 (UTC)

[identity profile] beandelphiki.livejournal.com 2010-02-05 07:32 pm (UTC)(link)
What's really getting me is that it's considered mutilation.

It IS mutilation if it's done for no good reason. You're removing a perfectly functional part of someone's body without their consent. Medical necessity (e.g. skin cancer of the foreskin - I've seen that, and the guy got cut rather than risk it spreading to his penis) is the only good reason to do it.

(I realise that puts me at odds with the people who think it's acceptable to do it for traditional cultural/religious reasons. Well, I don't care. I don't take issue with those things having been done in the past...but it's outdated now, and a procedure that should be stopped.)

Mutilation implies deliberate harm done, but here there's none. [...] Really, it's arrogant to call it mutilation, because it's not.

It's not whatsoever arrogant to call it mutilation simply because it's traditional for some people! Jesus fucking Christ - in some cultures, they remove girl's clits. Now, I don't think this is comparable (removing a clitoris makes normal sexual function impossible - removing a foreskin generally does not), but would you say that's not mutilation because it's done for cultural reasons?!

What about intersex children born with ambiguous genitals? Traditionally, they've had their genitals cut down or removed, and have been raised as girls. Is that not mutilation if there was no harm intended?! If the reason this has been done was the "common wisdom" that it was better for a child to lose their genitals than have "weird" ones?

Just because it's ACCEPTED and people don't intend HARM does not mean that it's not a form of mutilation. It just means that people are ignorant.

But out right saying you think circumcision is gross, well, obviously rude and uneducated

Uneducated, huh?

My cousin was cut. The procedure was botched, and he very nearly lost his fucking dick. Seriously. It was that bad - he almost lost his whole penis. My aunt and uncle were told that there was a chance that he'd have to be on a catheter all his life, and a serious chance that he'd never be able to have sex.

The reason they got him cut? Well, because that's what you do in North America! You cut as a matter of course. It's accepted. No big deal. No harm done.

Yeah. Right. Except for the part where little boys risk losing their penis before they blow out their first birthday candles - WAY before they could have had any say at all in what happens to their body.

Now tell me that isn't mutilation.

Saying that we shouldn't call it mutilation BECAUSE people have NO SAY in this happening to their bodies is FUCKING ASS-BACKWARDS. If you can't see what's wrong with justifying this practice with the idea that it's "rude" to question why so many men don't have all the body parts they were BORN with, I'm really fucking disturbed by you.

(Anonymous) 2010-02-05 07:58 pm (UTC)(link)
I think we're going to have to agree to disagree on this, and that we're probably arguing over cultural differences here and it's coloring our perceptions. I'm neither for or against it, and boy howdy do I know what happens when it goes wrong.

I was going for the more for the fact that telling men to their faces that they were mutilated while their penis works just fine, is rude, and is the fastest way to get a man to have a complex over himself.

Yes, mistakes and accidents happen and they are horrible, I'm not denying that. But circumcision procedures done correctly far out number the times where they go wrong.

Circumcision WILL eventually fall out of practice where it's not needed, I'm not denying this, in fact welcome this as a fact of getting over superstitions and outdated preconceptions.

(For the record, I do agree with you on the the issue removing the clitoris IS mutilation)