fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1556 ]

[ SECRET POST #1556 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1556 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 040 secrets from Secret Submission Post #222.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - ships it ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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33. http://i53.tinypic.com/fp5w1e.jpg

Recs?

I feel for you, OP. I loved my best friend, and I still love her. I know she'll never return how I feel, and it hurts to know that she'll be with someone else.

At the same time, the other person who I love has been my best friend for ~5 years, and we're going out right now. I love him so so much, and I know that he loves me, too. It can work out, OP. Maybe it didn't for you, but don't give up hope!

*hugs*

I think I might be falling in love with my best friend too, which is unexpected because I always thought I was like 95% straight. I'm trying to stop it as much as I can because she's conservative and would definitely, definitely not be open to anything with me, and I don't want to lose her friendship. But it's hard.

And I totally agree with you about the Fry/Laurie bit. <33

I'm sorry you're hurting OP, but the reality is that though sometimes those kinds of relationships DO work out it doesn't always. It's one of the trickiest romantic scenarios to figure out, I think. My two cents is to talk to your friend, or give yourself some time away from them so you can deal with it. It might be good to talk to another close friend or two and get some advice about it.

I like this secret. Recently all the perfect BFF couples in fandom have been bothering me to no end. I dated my best friend once and it ended horribly. It ruins the friend relationship almost entirely, especially if the breakup is bad.

Now we never talk. Even if we did I can't go to him for anything deep or emotional ever again.

Sounds like you're a candidate for Joss Whedon fandom! He's ALL ABOUT building up pining love that almost never, ever gets resolved or consumated, because real life doesn't work that way!

Fiction is fiction for a reason. We want to see happy endings in fiction because in real life, happy tied-up-with-a-bow endings rarely work out.

I'm sorry you had to learn this like this.

That's kind of the nature of fiction. Things are often made out to have happier endings than they do in real life. Sorry, OP, I know it can suck.

Also, the Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry background made me happy. I personally have never thought of them as anything but friends, but they're still adorable.

It can be easy to confuse romantic love with platonic love when you're extremely close to someone and free to be yourself around them.

This is true, but it doesn't mean that falling for one's best friend is any less common.

I really don't know what to say to you, OP. I know a couple of people who ended up in happy relationships with their best friends for life, and even one who...might had, if she tried. It's not impossible.

But, yeeeeah, the odds aren't as good as fiction would have you believe.

So I agree with what everyone else is saying but, uh, nobody lied to you, because you know, fanfic is only how two characters might react in certain circumstances and with certain states of mind. So, there was no lying unless you are one of the characters in fic and this is some strange meta RPS secret. Just saying.

My best friend of many years has also been my partner for the last few years. It is not impossible, though I am sorry that it didn't work for you. One day.

This just in. Fiction is not like reality. News at 11.

The same could be said of every kind of relationship. It's not lying. It's fiction. Things in fiction are much more likely to work out than they are in real life.

I'm sorry, anon. I feel your pain. It's happened to me twice. /hugs :(

Just remember, in the future: as some above commenter said, it's very, very easy to get romantic love confused with platonic love if the friendship is very emotionally intense and you're free to be yourself around your friend, and thus, it's very easy to get hurt. But the friendship should still be worth it even if you can't be together romantically.

Someday we'll both find someone who can love us back that we can be ourselves around. Okay, anon? Don't give up hope. ♥

aw aw AW omg OP I'm so sorry. that sucks. I've been there. ♥

*hugs* Been there.

I honestly believe Fry never, ever felt that way towards Laurie.
But Laurie felt that way about Fry.
He so clearly loves him more, and probably particularly in that way.

You never know what will happen, even if things seem like they're not going to work now...and everything happens for a reason, I believe.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2011-04-08 06:22 (UTC) - Expand

I fell in love with my best friend, and after 5 years of best friendship, we finally confessed our feelings (Read: made out drunk). Two years later, we are still going strong and I couldn't be happier. And all that time she was in love with me, I thought she was straight!

Too bad it can't happen for everyone. :( My sympathies to you, my story has a happy ending but I do still remember the 5 years of thinking my love would never be requited.

I did this too. Save yourself the years of grief and get over it. Years later you'll look back and realize that, for the most part, you were clinging to this friend as a lifeboat, confusing lots of emotions because you were lonely, and addicted to the dramatic romanticism of pining.

Then you'll find someone kick-ass who you never expected to click with.

*patpat* I know how you feel. My best friend turned out to be my dream man (his parents are even my dream in-laws), all our other friends even 'shipped us. Doesn't really matter in the end, since he sees me platonically.

Love stinks.

Hope you can go back to enjoying fictional best-friend 'ships someday.

The thing with fandom, isn't so much that it lies, it's just that fandom tends to forget that there are multiple kinds of and expressions of love, and that best friends tend to be a different kind of love than lovers. Sure, two people can love each other deeply, but have no sexual attraction to one another. (Hell, I'm willing to bet that's what Fry and Laurie have) Fandom seems to think that because two people love each other deeply, with their whole heart, with no interest in it become a romantic relationship.

...Fandom seems to think that love=sex, when love and sex are two completely different things. (I blame the fact that much of America is the same way, saying that you should only have sex if you love somebody, and that sex is the ultimate declaration of love, and much of fandom is american).

Although I don't believe in any sort of 'destiny' or 'one true love', if it helps at all in terms of getting over her, knowing that the fact that she is (presumably) 100% straight is almost a way of knowing it wasn't ever meant to happen. Somehow this certainty makes it seem better, for me at least. Saying 'I wish she wasn't straight' would be like wishing the sky green, it ain't a gonna happen.
However, at the same time, you only live once. If there's any chance for you to tell her, at least have the coming out convo, and depending on how she takes it maybe tell her. You've got to find the balance between not having any 'what ifs' down the line and not freaking your friend out (the best people, obvs, would be completely cool about it, even without returning feelings, but sadly not everyone is made of awesome).
Good luck hun.

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