Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2011-04-09 03:42 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2011-04-09 03:42 pm
[ SECRET POST #1558 ]
⌈ Secret Post #1558 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 12 pages, 291 secrets from Secret Submission Post #223.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ], [ 1 - take it to comments ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
Just because a relationship doesn't last 50 years doesn't mean it's not worth it. This is the attitude that I've seen a lot of people with and it's a big reason why my sister is so unhappy right now. She was always on about how she's "just gonna be divorced in 5 years" and didn't commit to any relationship and now she's regretting it.
I understand what you mean and I totally know that there's a third perspective. But I feel like a lot of people don't give young people and couples the credit they deserve when it comes to relationships. There's just this "young=irresponsible/clueless/flighty" mentality and that's just not fair.
no subject
This. One of my best friends got married when she and her husband were both 18. They're 25 now, have 3 kids and are very stable, happy and in love. From my own experience and things I've seen, I'd say that it's more a matter of maturity than chronological age. Granted there is such a thing as simply being too young, I would personally draw the line at marriage or engagement before you're of legal age, because until you hit legal age, you haven't got as many responsibilities and therefore haven't got as much experience to know how to handle difficult things that come along. But you have a good point with saying that older people tend more to be jaded and go into a relationship assuming it will eventually crumble. That's not the mindset that leads to permanence; it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, since if you assume you're doomed from the start, you won't work as hard to make things work because you don't believe they will.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-04-10 02:05 pm (UTC)(link)Further, just because someone is more cautious in entering a relationship doesn't mean they never will, your sister's experience aside. I want to make sure I go into a marriage with hopefully a really strong chance when I'm ready for it. That's not the same thing as not committing due to fear of failure.
It's definitely not about age, IMO. It's about maturity, life experience, self-awareness, education, self-respect, etc. etc. etc. Unfortunately, all that tends to go hand in hand with age.
no subject
And we totally agree on this. But I just don't appreciate those comments that say that people who are young are automatically gonna fail because they're "not ready." I'm only pointing out that older=smarter/more fit in every single case, and vice versa.
The point I disagree on isn't about the waiting until you're ready and being sure that you are. I simply disagree with the idea that "young people" can't possibly be ready because they're "young." I feel like a lot of people think I'm saying that everyone should marry young because it's better than waiting. I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying that numerical age is no true indicator of maturity and people should stop looking down on people who want to commit to relationships and have children earlier in life than they think is "smart." Marriages will fail but it doesn't make it any easier for them to succeed when everyone is saying from the beginning that they'll fail. Those doomsayers just irk me.