[ SECRET POST #1558 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1558 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 12 pages, 291 secrets from Secret Submission Post #223.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ], [ 1 - take it to comments ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

So, this will probably be an unfavored comment, but I will make it anyway because I think with all the unconditional love going around in these comments it's still important to have a little diversity.

Dear Poster, I was the problem-person for a long time and while it was reassuring that people still came to me with their problems, it was uncanny to see that somehow I became the problem bin for some of my friends (maybe because I tend to euphemise my problems, got more 'human', whatever).

It was ok in the beginning, it got worse. Sometimes if you're ill, you want to talk to no-one, there's only you and you're pain etc... and a neutral/happy conversation is far less taxing than the added 'normalness' of your friends problems.

That is not to say you shouldn't tell your problems, however small they may be, but please try to be a little conscious of how the problem-person is feeling when you talk to them (that's to say, if I'm coughing blood, having an acute nervous breakdown etc... I may not be able to really listen to you. That will pass. Also IMHO if people are ready to talk about their problems rationally or informatively they probably will be able to have an 'equal' conversation with (ergo, where you both can talk about what's important to you).

Ok, long story short: There will be a time, mostly in moments of stillness, for your worries too, where I would be very glad to help you. I would like to always, but sometimes it may just not be possible, but please don't be discouraged.

[(Anonymous)]

That's fine, as long as you recognize that not everyone can have a "neutral/happy conversation" simply because you need it, no matter how big your problems are. Not only does that require a certain degree of emotional control and attentiveness to your problems, it's also self-sacrificing, rejecting their problems to be better supportive of you. Some really really great people will be willing to do that for you, to be that shoulder to cry on. But that's not their JOB as friends, and it may cost you some friendships. And it really doesn't make the people who aren't able to deal with someone who needs that constant support bad people. Just like you're not a bad person for not being able to help them. <3