case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2011-05-13 08:02 pm

[ SECRET POST #1592 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1592 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


01.



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02.
[BSG]


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03.


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04.
[Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds]


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05.


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06.
[Supernatural]


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07.


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08.
[Glee]


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09. [repeat]


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10.
[Once Upon A Time In Mexico]


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11.
[Breakout Kings]


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12.
[Supernatural]


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13.
[Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae o Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai]


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14.
[Invasion America]


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15.
[Zork Nemesis]


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16.
[Waiting for Godot and Good Omens]


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17.
[Withnail & I]


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18.
[Gorillaz]


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19.
[The Young Riders]


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20.
[Pride & Prejudice]


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21.


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22.
[Shantae: Risky's Revenge]


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23.
[bbc sherlock (lestrade)]








[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]











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24. [SPOILERS for Supernatural]



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25. [SPOILERS for Ghost Trick]



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26. [SPOILERS for Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey]



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27. [SPOILERS for Death Note]



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28. [SPOILERS for the Tudors]



29. [SPOILERS for Transformers: Dark of the Moon]



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30. [SPOILERS for Portal 2]



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31. [SPOILERS for Portal 2]










[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]










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32. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape, abuse]



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33. [TRIGGER WARNING for abuse/sexual assault]

[Glee]


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34. [SPOILERS for Doctor Who]
[TRIGGER WARNING for parent death?]



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35. [TRIGGER WARNING for ]



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36. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape, racism, abuse, and pedophilia]



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37. [TRIGGER WARNING for self-harm]



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38. [TRIGGER WARNING for sexual abuse]

[Kuroshitsuji II]




Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #227.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Re: I

[identity profile] darlas-mom.livejournal.com 2011-05-18 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
Okay, first of all, I have been actively engaging on this topic in earnest for years now, and I'm getting increasingly sick of having the nonny trolls ascribed to my "side." I have no idea how much actual investment those people have in this debate, and neither do you. For all I know, they are shit-stirring for their own personal amusement and aren't kinky or fetishists at all.

They might not be. But I'm not sure how that makes the ugliness they put out there invisible, or less hurtful. You didn't ask me to provide links to people on your "side" doing the mocking. You asked if the mocking exists. And if it's not common enough or occurring from people posting under their own names often enough or whatever else, that still doesn't make it any less hurtful.

Secondly, I got pissed because of you going off on what I think is a serious tangent with the triggers thing. Based on what you've said, I really don't think we disagree at all about triggers, and would probably be arguing the same thing in that debate (oh god, another debate I'm really sick of). But I consider it to be only somewhat related; generally, when people get upset about "offensive" kinks, it's not because they were actually triggered. (Or if they are, they do not mention it.)

I added emphasis to that because I think it's important to point out that just because people don't tell you it's a trigger, doesn't mean it's not one or that wasn't why they're saying something. Speaking for myself here, I hate saying I was triggered by anything. I hate it because I have a conditioned reflex to expressing pain of any kind that says, "Do this calmly, do this gently, do it rationally- don't tell anyone how much it hurts. You'll be burdening the nice people and encouraging the mean people if you say how much pain you're in." Admitting something hurts leaves me coiled in on myself, feeling terrified that the person on the receiving end is making a value judgment on whether

1) I'm telling the truth.
2) I'm not exaggerating.
3) If that matters.

How many people are there around fandom- otherwise perfectly reasonable people- claiming that sometimes, people say they were triggered as a way to push a censorship button on something they don't like? Essentially saying someone is faking it just to make their pearl-clutching sound important? And then they tsk, tsk about it because it's trivializing for people with "real" triggers?

This is why warnings and the debate surrounding them and kink shaming are not separate or tangential issues to me. Because I have been told, on more than one occasion, that asking for a warning or even displaying a warning in my own fic IS kink shaming. Because it "implies the kink is something dangerous" and "stigmatizes the people who have that kink."

Which is why this:

But when something IS warned for, yeah, people need to stop it with the shaming.

Gets to me. Because expressing a pained desire for warnings (privately, for that matter, not even asking the writers for them anymore, that went out the window ages ago) is counted by people I know, and some people I don't, as kink shaming. You are not addressing this, and it is the entire crux of what I am saying- go back and look at my last comment if you want: I think an *ism kink needs a warning label, and asking for one has been written off as kink shaming. Also by people who are not anonymous and are proud of that opinion. So where are we now?