case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2011-06-05 03:36 pm

[ SECRET POST #1615 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1615 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 08 pages, 185 secrets from Secret Submission Post #231.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

[identity profile] sarcasmking.livejournal.com 2011-06-05 09:45 pm (UTC)(link)
No. The only way they could have felt that is if they were bullied for being who they were and then sexually assaulted by that person.

What they felt is something that they are projecting onto an - based on the information supplied - irrelevant situation.
(deleted comment)

[identity profile] sarcasmking.livejournal.com 2011-06-05 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)
On occasion I have indulged in arrogance, yes.

I never said I knew what they felt. But that they couldn't feel what Kurt felt in that moment because that wasn't what happened, according to the OP. They weren't sexually assaulted, they weren't bullied and intimidated by this person for being gay - as far as we know. That wasn't the situation they were in.

The fact is - the fact based on the information that the OP provided - is that someone told them they loved them. That is not sexual assault. The situations are not comparable. Period.

[identity profile] time-ambassador.livejournal.com 2011-06-06 02:20 am (UTC)(link)
"On occasion I have indulged in arrogance, yes."

Drive-by love for that phrase. I might have to borrow it someday.
(deleted comment)

(Anonymous) 2011-06-06 01:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Op has a right to feel any way they want yes, but that doesn't mean that what they feel is entirely the truth to reality or that they aren't exaggerating the situation.

Equally, I have the right to be offended when a comparison is made about sexual assault to something that is not sexual assault. It's offensive, period.

And OP should be called on this, because maybe OP will learn to not over dramatize a situation. Or maybe the situation really does suck, but OP will learn to explain themselves better.

We learn from experience and that may not change our feelings now, but it could change our feelings in the future. Human beings are not completely devoid of logic, even when emotional. I wouldn't scratch my knee and tell people it felt like I was just murdered.

None of this means I don't feel sorry for the OP if they are going through a rough time, it just means what they said in their secret could have been put more delicately.

(Anonymous) 2011-06-05 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Long and slightly silly example due to use of silly movie:

Recently a friend started blanking me, completely out of the blue. I have no idea why. We haven't had a fight, I haven't been talking about him behind his back, nothing. He just leaves if I appear when he's with a group of friends we have in common. I couldn't help but make the comparison to Will and Robin Hood in Prince of Thieves. ("have I wronged you in another life? What is it that make you hate me so?") Does that mean I feel everything the characters felt, that I've experienced the same thing they have? Of course not. A fragment of that scene registered with me, and that connected it to the situation I was in. Is that wrong? If so why? And why is it wrong for the OP to do the same? We don't know the whole story.

[identity profile] sarcasmking.livejournal.com 2011-06-05 10:43 pm (UTC)(link)
I feel like I'm one of those dolls where you pull the string and I say one of a few random stock phrases:

[Homophobic] sexual assault is not comparable to someone telling you they love you and you not feeling the same way. I have no problem with someone comparing their situation with an apt comparison; in this case, with the information provided, they are not comparable at all.
Edited 2011-06-05 22:45 (UTC)

(Anonymous) 2011-06-05 10:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I'm not really sure why people are having so much difficulty understanding you, particularly since, as far I'm concerned, it's actually rather offensive to compare anything that's emotionally hurtful or uncomfortable to assault.

(Anonymous) 2011-06-08 06:04 am (UTC)(link)
Yes. They are comparable. They are not the same thing, but you can compare them.

[identity profile] xenafox.livejournal.com 2011-06-06 03:16 am (UTC)(link)
No. The only way they could have felt that is if they were bullied for being who they were and then sexually assaulted by that person.

That's not just arrogance, it's some pretty rich stupidity.