fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1616 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1616 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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TRIGGER WARNING FOR ABUSE

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 150 secrets from Secret Submission Post #231.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ], [ 1 - personal attack ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

16. http://i52.tinypic.com/2utoxsh.gif

Take a chance. If they're really your friends, they won't judge you =)

MTE! <3

Is it real aspergers or just internet aspergers? C'mon, seriously.

What the fuck kind of a response is this?

I think what they mean is that there are people who feel themselves to be a bit unusual or quirky, who read about the condition, take a few quizzes, and then start declaring that they too are afflicted with Asperger's Syndrome, when they have not gotten a professional opinion at any point.

That said, I do agree the original question could sound harsh and jarring to someone who has been officially diagnosed and had to deal with the issue for many years.

P.S.
I love your icon! Yummy!

(no subject)

subarashiine.livejournal.com - 2011-06-07 01:12 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2011-06-07 10:58 (UTC) - Expand

The typical response whenever the subject comes up, unfortunately.

Seriously, people self-diagnosing is an issue, but I think this was fairly uncalled for in this particular comment.

different anon

I think the biggest issue, or at least the most relevent to this thread, is people who use it as an excuse for wankery. And really, having an official diagnosis doesn't exactly prevent that. Nor does being self-diagnosed bring it arout.

(Anonymous) - 2011-06-07 12:52 (UTC) - Expand

kallanda-lee.livejournal.com - 2011-06-07 12:56 (UTC) - Expand

Wahey! I have it too. Doctor-diagnosed, before anyone jumps on me. What I think about it is... Man I don't even know how to explain. Pretty much, I don't let it affect my life in a particularly crippling way. Many aspects of my personality, I can't tell what's AS and what I may have inherited, because it almost seems like a combination of genes from both parents that mashed together to make crazy. So I don't let it bother me, and if it doesn't bother me, I don't make it bother anyone else.

What I've learned is, it's either meant to be or it's not. I'm spectacularly lucky enough to have found my best friend in the entire world online though we live hours from one another, but it took a long time to get to this point. If they like you well enough to put up with your online eccentricities, then you'll do fine in person.

Aww. *hugs* I don't know said friends, so I obviously can't assure you that they wouldn't be judgmental... but why not take the chance? Don't let fear of rejection let you miss out on good times.

Your problem seems more self-confidence than Asperger's. As an Aspie myself, I know it's difficult to make friends, but these people are already your friends. Seeing your quirks in person shouldn't make much of a difference.

Besides, chances are they at least *know* someone with some neurological difference, if they don't have one themselves.

Everyone in fandom on livejournal has the assburgers.

Mature.

Hey, man, I have Asperger's too, and people still like me. And if they can like someone like me, I am pretty sure they can like you too. Chin up. ♥

Don't be scared, anon! Fandom is full of people who are sympathetic to atypical brains -- after all, we've been trained via Bones and Sherlock, not to mention the people with autism spectrum conditions who've shown up on other shows.

Take a chance, dearie! The only thing you have to lose is loneliness.

I'm going to keep this in mind next time a fandom friend cancels on me.

I've got it too. (Went to an autism specialist and a professional psychologist) Honestly, I'd say to take a chance even if it scares you- because I can say from experience I haven't regretted meeting any of my friends I got to know through the internet. ^_^

AS has nothing to do with likability. People either like you or they don't, and if you're not an asshole, then they not liking you is their problem, not yours.

But seriously, your friends will probably like you! :) You're never not going to have AS, so don't let it hold you back.

I feel like people in fandom would be a lot more understanding. Give 'em a chance.

On the secret, take a chance, the people may surprise you and make you feel right at home.

On the picture -- that is stunning and I think you have some real talent.

Dude, it's fandom

It's made up of people who were picked on in high school, people who don't leave the house for weeks at a time, people who have no clue how to even function online, much less in person.

No fucks will be given, aside from jealousy that your social ineptness can be excused, and theirs can't.

This is so true, ahaha

I know how you feel. I'm all but paralyzed by anxiety before I meet anyone. The first time I met a fandom friend IRL, I didn't even have a diagnosis yet, so I didn't really have the language to explain myself.

With the right people, though, it gets easier. This weekend I plan on meeting up with a group of fan-minded people who met through an Internet board and all happen to live within a reasonable driving distance. I'm still really awkward in groups, but I never regret going.

Oh, I love the picture you've taken here! And I always think it's cool when I meet people with Aspergers in fandom, since my younger brother's slightly autistic. It just makes me think that he'll be able to connect to people with similar experiences to his, etc. etc. I am rambling now.

Regarding your actual secret. I don't know how your Aspergers affects you, and whether your friends would be okay with whatever things you do, but I'm sure that any friend worth their salt will accept who you are. (: But you shouldn't feel pressured to meet anyone-- it's your own business, and you shouldn't do anything you don't feel ready to do, especially if you're worried about it.