[ SECRET POST #1620 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1620 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


01.
[Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae wo Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai]



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02.
[Hetalia]


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03.
[Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha]


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04.
[Michael Silas/Asiel Hardison, Lady Gaga's dancers]


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05.
[Tiger & Bunny]


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06.
[Evangelion]


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07.
[Zero Punctuation]


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08.
[The Catherine Tate Show]


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09.
[Grimgrimoire]


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10.
[wonderful days, guyver, cowboy bebop, texhnolyze, togainu no chi, black lagoon, samurai champloo, aishiteruze baby, tenjo tenge]


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11.
[X-Men: First Class]


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12.
[Tales of the Abyss]


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13.
[Human Target]


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14.
[A Song of Ice and Fire]


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15.
[Masterchef Australia]


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16.
[Sucker Punch]


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17.
[Mystique]


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18.
[Workaholics]


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19.
[Mark Reads]


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20.
[Jamie Campbell Bower ]


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21.
[Hey Arnold!]












[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]












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22. [SPOILERS for Homestuck]



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23. [SPOILERS for Gintama]



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24. [SPOILERS for Kamen Rider Kabuto]



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25. [SPOILERS for Loveless]



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26. [SPOILERS for Doctor Who]



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27. [SPOILERS for Mockingjay]



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28. [SPOILERS for Kung Fu Panda 2]

















[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]


















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29. [TRIGGER WARNING for non-con]



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30. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]

[Game of Thrones]


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31. [TRIGGER WARNING for eating disorders]



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32. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]



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33. [TRIGGER WARNING for transphobia?]



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34. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]

[SPN]


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35. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape, pedophilia]



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36. [TRIGGER WARNING for eating disorders]



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37. [TRIGGER WARNING for self-injury, suicide]

[Manic Street Preachers]






Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #231.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

31.
http://i52.tinypic.com/52n91h.jpg

[stella-down.livejournal.com]

you sound self-absorbed.

[(Anonymous)]

For real.

[10littlebullets.livejournal.com]

You sound like someone who's never been a friend's lifeline for mental health issues, while going through similar issues and having no one to lean on. Only a saint could do that shit without feeling at least a little bit of resentment. What matters is how you deal with it.

[(Anonymous)]

I've been on both sides of this table many times, but coming out and saying "I resent you for being too sick to be what I needed" is really selfish and absurd no matter the context.

[10littlebullets.livejournal.com]

Er, I'm getting something more like "I resent that since I was slightly more functional, I had to be your emotional support while getting no support myself." It's a pretty natural feeling IMO, as long as you acknowledge that it's an irrational response and not actually the other person's fault. Which the OP does. It's a secret, it's not like they're saying it to their friend's face.

[(Anonymous)]

That's true, and my response was probably a little more kneejerk than was wise. This was a terrible situation to be in all around and I'm glad OP's feeling better, I can't exactly begrudge anyone their occasional nasty thoughts as long as they're not hurting anyone.

[10littlebullets.livejournal.com]

Yeah, and I probably should have clarified at the outset that "resentment is natural" doesn't mean "yeah baby, your resentment is 100% valid and justified, go ahead and hate her because her problems were worse than yours." Just that you shouldn't feel guilty for feeling it as long as you can deal with it maturely and recognize how much of it is justified and how much of it is irrational/not your friend's fault.

(And okay, maybe a bit kneejerk on my part too--was in a situation similar to the OP's, except my friend was treating me like absolute crap and too deep in the hole to even realize it. It wasn't her fault but it hurt like hell.)

[(Anonymous)]

Frankly, no one should be ANYONE else's lifeline for mental health issues. That's far too much stress and responsibility to put on one person, and frankly it's unfair and selfish to do. If someone is having such severe mental health issues, they need to seek pro help. But people can't be expected to 'take care of' their mentally ill friends, because otherwise you get drawn into their mental illness and it eats your life as well.

[(Anonymous)]

(same anon as bove comment, cont'd) I mean seriously you're espousing a system where two people would become progressively more dependent on but also more resentful of one another over time until they are in a destructive and negative relationship. That's super unhealthy.

[(Anonymous)]

(same anon again) I should also clarify, when I say it's "unfair and selfish to do", what I mean is that it is/would be unfair and selfish to expect one person and one person alone to have the strength to be your lifeline.

But I see below that you actually are espousing the OP handing this off for pro help because this relationship will eat her alive otherwise, so I actually agree with you.

[(Anonymous)]

I know all too well where you're coming from. I won't judge you for being resentful towards your friend, I have my own resentments.

[kallanda-lee.livejournal.com]

Hey, Scully is an awesome kick-ass role model..but your friend is a real person. Don't resent her, and don't get get disconnected from the real world!

[(Anonymous)]

This is a good comment.

[viceindustrious.livejournal.com]

So did your 'best friend' recover from their eating disorder?

[10littlebullets.livejournal.com]

Hey love,

I can already tell you're going to get all sorts of shit for this secret, but stay strong. If your friend is still dealing with her ED, it sounds like you've exhausted yourself trying to be her emotional caretaker, so the best thing you can do at this point is find other people to help her deal--professionals, her family, her friends. You can't help her if you're exhausted and resentful, and really, honestly, it isn't your responsibility alone. Your responsibility is to be a friend to her, and friendship doesn't mean running yourself ragged to no effect. If she's in recovery, try to keep the friendship maintained, even if you need to establish boundaries on how much support you can give her, even if there's resentment built up. Resentment is natural and not something you need to feel guilty for as long as you don't give in to it--she was in a crap situation, you were in a crap situation that she contributed to through no fault of her own. Frustration and resentment are kind of inevitable there. Just acknowledge them to yourself and don't take them out on her.

I was in a similar situation this time last year--sole emotional lifeline for a friend with clinical depression, barely managing to stay functional with my own depression, lonely as hell and having to absorb it every time she lashed out at me. It got ugly and unhealthy, it damaged our friendship, but one year later we are both doing better (after seeking outside support) and both still friends.

[(Anonymous)]

THIS RESPONSE IS THE BEST RESPONSE.

OP please read this. You CANNOT be the sole support of your friend and also remain healthy yourself as well.

[writerserenyty.livejournal.com]

Resenting your friend for having an ED is a bit much... but Scully IS a kick ass female character and role model, and has been an inspiration for me, too. Glad you could find something to help you.

[perfectgnat.livejournal.com]

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with Dana Scully. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to Scully,

“You told me, Agent Scully, to get the fuck up, that I was stronger than this. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

And Scully replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

[masked-creator.livejournal.com]

+1 xD

[the-angry-pixie.livejournal.com]

four for you perfectgnat. you go perfectgnat.

[mistaria.livejournal.com]

I have SUCH a girl crush on Gillian Anderson and I love watching her as Scully. She's such an amazing female character.

[althea]

I see you've already gotten some shit for this, so I just wanted to say that I get where you're coming from, OP. Not with the same issue, but I've definitely been there. It sucks.

[no-one-specific.livejournal.com]

This is an awesome secret.