fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1667 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1667 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Posting this while LJ is up. Comment threads to follow

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 099 secrets from Secret Submission Post #238.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Fat acceptance and stopping body policing? Perfectly okay and understandable.

Pretending like for the most part being fat isn't a choice, or that being obese doesn't affect your health in a negative way? Not okay.

For the most part, though, the best policy is to mind your own business about other people's life choices.

It's not pretending.

It's science and common sense.

See my comments above (http://fandomsecrets.livejournal.com/730515.html?thread=462564243#t462564243) and let me know if you have any questions.

But THANK YOU (and I mean this honestly) for realizing that even if it WERE usually a choice and even if it WERE a predictor of bad health that treating people that way would still be shit. We get too tangled up in the health argument and sometimes we forget that it doesn't fucking matter because even if everyone was right about the health thing it's still not okay to police people's bodies and choices.

So thank you for that. I really appreciate it.

Agree to disagree, I suppose. But truthfully, nobody has a right to tell others how to live their lives or treat their bodies, as long as it's not affecting anybody else. I really don't understand the mentality behind that. It's not as if the criticizer is going to get anything out of it other than the power trip that comes from telling people what to do.

It's true that having a little fat isn't going to cause any severe health problems. But obesity can directly cause a plethora of health problems, for expample sleep apnea, which can be caused by obesity due to your fat weighing down on your lungs. So don't you dare fucking say that being obese is "healthy", or that there are no health problems directly linked to obesity, because that's not true.

Thank you. If the FA movement could drop the goddamn pseudoscience and focus on respect, I think they might have a shot at being taken seriously.

....Um, no, it usually isn't a choice. The problem is that losing weight once you're obese takes years of work. "Oh, well why didn't they catch it sooner and fix it right away, then?" Denial. People will be so upset by the problem that they choose to ignore it instead of work to fix it, thinking it'll just go away if they don't worry about it and try a little bit harder to exercise. But over time it gets worse, they become discouraged, start comfort eating, etc and it gets out of control. Then you have people who are obese and struggling to lose weight, but it's a long process and they're harassed and ridiculed every step of the way.

Want to know something that really hurts? When you reach a significant weight loss goal, like, say, 50 pounds, and you go out somewhere to celebrate. Not even anyplace related to food, mind you. But, despite having lost 50 pounds, you're still significantly heavy. So you go out to celebrate, and you hear someone make a remark--be it behind your back or to your face--about your weight. That? Makes you feel like all the work you've put in was worthless, like you'll never reach a point where you're considered attractive, won't be mocked, etc.

Not to mention obviously there are various reasons why someone would be overweight.

All that said, I agree with the first and third line of what you said :3

I've been through all of that. It takes time, and it takes work. When I say it's a choice, I don't mean someone decided to be fat. That rarely happens. But it's a choice in whether or not you take the steps to a healthier lifestyle, even if it's just an extra ten minutes of walking a day, or cutting out even 100 calories a day. The people who expect those who are obese to change overnight are in denial. There will be setbacks and slipups. Even if it's just taking small steps to overcome comfort eating before you start on a weight-loss journey, that is making a choice between that and continuing to sit back and eat without thinking.

One of the most horrible things in the world is to be told "but you're still fat!" after making a huge weight-loss step. If you've ever had to deal with that, I feel for you, and I understand. <3

Aaah, okay, I misunderstood you, then. It's unfortunate that I'm so used to assuming the worst on these things, since yeah plenty of people would look at these people and say "you chose to get fat in the first place!"

But yeah, basically this. The whole point of fat acceptance is accepting that there are people out there who are fat and everyone else can just mind their own damn business and let those people come to terms with their weight themselves. At the end of the day, who is someone else's weight really affecting?

And yeah, I have.

Sorry to butt in, but reading what you wrote made me whince in sympathy. I myself lost 30 kg (thats 66 lbs, I think) and I really know what it's like. Right now I'm actually the skinniest I've ever been (ironically not through dieting, but through a bad break-up) and I STILL feel fat (not to mention all the stretch marks that will never, ever go away). Sometimes I still worry what people think when I eat in public.

Because of comments people made. Things like that stick with.

Hey, no problem. And just. Ouch. That hurts. I'm sorry you've dealt wit that.

Eating in public has always been a huge problem for me. I always feel like I'm being judged.

It's probably because people really do it.

My friends recently went to Burger King with me (I don't eat fast food anymore though) and we saw a group of teenage boys make fun of a chubby girl who ordered a meal...

I think she noticed it too, because when she got her food she ran into the back. Where to people get the idea that it's ok to judge and shame someone you don't even know for their body size?

Probably. And that's just. So fucking ridiculous. You don't know the person you're harassing. You don't know her circumstances. Maybe she'd just fucked up the dinner she was cooking and didn't have the time or money to get more supplies from the grocery. Maybe she was just low on time or money period. Maybe she hasn't eaten at Burger King in a month and had a sudden craving, which she decided to satisfy for one meal and then go back to a healthier diet. Whatever the case, it's ridiculous to act like that to someone you don't even know based on one lone fact that you know about them; they're heavy.

Yeah :/ It was really hard to watch. And these things happened to me too, back when I was heavy.

Oh well, the only thing you can really do is try to get your self esteem up and remember that shallow assholes will get their comeuppances one day.

Thank you for being the most sane commenter in this thread.

[ SECRET POST #1667 ]

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