fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1687 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1687 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

This is not your forum to identify and call out specific people just to call them assholes. Call out general actions you find reprehensible, mod ability/inability, that kind of stuff, but once you get into what basically amounts to 'this person is a stupid bitch and here are some icons/an lj layout/add. info to identify them with' - no.

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Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ehm, it's putting it simply - but generally, I don't think that's such a horrid way of describing it. Yes, I understand that they'd already would be a girl as far as their perception of themselves is concerned - but describing it as "a boy who wants to be a girl" does make the situation pretty clear to everyone.

There's a pretty important distinction between "boy who wants to be a girl" and "girl in a boy's body who wants her body to match the gender she feels she is" - it might not make a difference to you, but it makes a big difference to me.

Written as the former, I can see how that's offensive - written as the latter, I might be interested in the story.

Maybe OP really meant "boy who wants to be a girl."

What would you describe as a "boy who wants o be a girl"?

Someone who is male-identified, yet, for whatever reason still wishes to be a girl?

My point was that someone who is pre-transition and has not expressed that their gender does not match their sex, will for all intends and purposes be seen as a boy, even though they wish to be perceived as female.

I wasn't trying to correct you, kallanda_lee, I was talking to the seething mad anon.

Yeah, I have heard of and talked to a few biological guys who think of themselves as guys and yet kind of wish they were girls. One case in particular I could think of was that the guy was more sensitive and soft-spoken, which where he lived, was grounds for teasing if you were a boy. He hung out with girls and his classmates thought he was weird for it. And his family put pressure on him to get into sports and things, which he didn't like and wasn't good at, and he felt like he wouldn't have had those pressures if he had been born a girl. He still didn't think of himself as one, though.

I've been a girl all my life, I'm okay with my body and all the stuff, but when I was a child I wanted to be a boy because boys could play football and didn't have to wear dresses. So I guess I used to be a girl who wanted to be a boy.

I think you're being a tad unfair to the OP here, maybe they didn't word it right, I got the message and I'm pretty sure they weren't trying to be a dick.

I can see how "boy who wants to be a girl" would be problematic if it were describing someone who is actually trans. But there is also the fact that sometimes people like having the fantasy of wanting to be something that deep-down know they actually aren't: if I (to pick a made-up and sort of kindergarten example) were to say "I want to be a princess!" no one would interpret that this means that I actually am a princess, or even that I think I already am one. All it would mean is that I think princesses are cool and awesome and that I'd like to experience what it feels like to be one, since I'm not one and never will be.

It's the state of yearning that is important, as distinct from the state of actually being. It's the distinct feeling of "this is a fantasy, this is not reality, this will never be my reality." It's a part of why people enjoy roleplaying, either in the bedroom or online... it's about ACTING: being an actor, playing a part. I don't think this describes the reality of what it's like to be trans, since for trans people, the role they often find themselves forced to play is that of the gender consistent with the body they were born into, and for them that's a painful and constricting reality, not a pleasant escapist fantasy. Totally different things.

Yeah. This. I could see a story about yearning to be different.

I could also see the secret being a seething mass of transfail, though. Depends what the OP had in mind.

Hm... well...

I also just think it's a matter of how people conceive of themselves, really.

I have talked to quite a few young mtf trans people, and quite a few of them do describe themselves pretty similarly to "a boy who wants to be a girl". I realize that this doesn't occur in a vacuum and that conceiving of the audience is more important than sticking with problematic phrasing.

I know that I can relate to it. When I was younger, I didn't think that "oh, I am x and always have been x, I just wasn't born with the right body." I thought "I really wish I was y, but no, I'm x. I really want to be y." It wasn't until much later that I was able to piece my identity together so nicely.

Anon is also silly and mixed up x with y there, but I hope it still comes across properly. ;p

Yeah, to me the question is, do we think that a fairly young MTF individual would actually be capable of viewing mental gender as distinct from physical sex in the way that would be required to call themself a girl in a boy's body? When fact is that even a lot of grown adults aren't able to do so, be it because they've never heard of the concept or because they genuinely can't separate the two in their minds? "Boy who wants to be a girl" may not be politically correct waaah, but if chances are that the character in question would indeed identify that way, putting it any other way would just be ridiculous.

I think the word "body" is ableist

lol

let me guess you're actually a cloud of nanoparticles who doesn't actually have a body

Or not; I think the proposed story could work for a transwoman... OR a literal boy who wanted to be a girl for reasons other than expression of gender identity. Maybe 'he' identifies as gender-neutral and wants to 'see the other side;' maybe any number of things.

[ SECRET POST #1687 ]

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