[ SECRET POST #1687 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1687 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

This is not your forum to identify and call out specific people just to call them assholes. Call out general actions you find reprehensible, mod ability/inability, that kind of stuff, but once you get into what basically amounts to 'this person is a stupid bitch and here are some icons/an lj layout/add. info to identify them with' - no.

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 142 secrets from Secret Submission Post #241.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 (ED trigger warning) - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, people WOULD be offended, and rightfully so. "Wants to be a girl" isn't how it fucking works.

[kallanda-lee.livejournal.com]

Ehm, it's putting it simply - but generally, I don't think that's such a horrid way of describing it. Yes, I understand that they'd already would be a girl as far as their perception of themselves is concerned - but describing it as "a boy who wants to be a girl" does make the situation pretty clear to everyone.

DA

[(Anonymous)]

There's a pretty important distinction between "boy who wants to be a girl" and "girl in a boy's body who wants her body to match the gender she feels she is" - it might not make a difference to you, but it makes a big difference to me.

Written as the former, I can see how that's offensive - written as the latter, I might be interested in the story.

Re: DA

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe OP really meant "boy who wants to be a girl."

Re: DA

[kallanda-lee.livejournal.com]

What would you describe as a "boy who wants o be a girl"?

Someone who is male-identified, yet, for whatever reason still wishes to be a girl?

My point was that someone who is pre-transition and has not expressed that their gender does not match their sex, will for all intends and purposes be seen as a boy, even though they wish to be perceived as female.

Re: DA

[(Anonymous)]

I wasn't trying to correct you, kallanda_lee, I was talking to the seething mad anon.

Yeah, I have heard of and talked to a few biological guys who think of themselves as guys and yet kind of wish they were girls. One case in particular I could think of was that the guy was more sensitive and soft-spoken, which where he lived, was grounds for teasing if you were a boy. He hung out with girls and his classmates thought he was weird for it. And his family put pressure on him to get into sports and things, which he didn't like and wasn't good at, and he felt like he wouldn't have had those pressures if he had been born a girl. He still didn't think of himself as one, though.

Re: DA

[helenadax.livejournal.com]

I've been a girl all my life, I'm okay with my body and all the stuff, but when I was a child I wanted to be a boy because boys could play football and didn't have to wear dresses. So I guess I used to be a girl who wanted to be a boy.

Re: DA

[punishermax.livejournal.com]

I think you're being a tad unfair to the OP here, maybe they didn't word it right, I got the message and I'm pretty sure they weren't trying to be a dick.

Re: DA

[herongale]

I can see how "boy who wants to be a girl" would be problematic if it were describing someone who is actually trans. But there is also the fact that sometimes people like having the fantasy of wanting to be something that deep-down know they actually aren't: if I (to pick a made-up and sort of kindergarten example) were to say "I want to be a princess!" no one would interpret that this means that I actually am a princess, or even that I think I already am one. All it would mean is that I think princesses are cool and awesome and that I'd like to experience what it feels like to be one, since I'm not one and never will be.

It's the state of yearning that is important, as distinct from the state of actually being. It's the distinct feeling of "this is a fantasy, this is not reality, this will never be my reality." It's a part of why people enjoy roleplaying, either in the bedroom or online... it's about ACTING: being an actor, playing a part. I don't think this describes the reality of what it's like to be trans, since for trans people, the role they often find themselves forced to play is that of the gender consistent with the body they were born into, and for them that's a painful and constricting reality, not a pleasant escapist fantasy. Totally different things.

Re: DA

[fierceawakening.livejournal.com]

Yeah. This. I could see a story about yearning to be different.

I could also see the secret being a seething mass of transfail, though. Depends what the OP had in mind.

Re: DA

[(Anonymous)]

Hm... well...

I also just think it's a matter of how people conceive of themselves, really.

I have talked to quite a few young mtf trans people, and quite a few of them do describe themselves pretty similarly to "a boy who wants to be a girl". I realize that this doesn't occur in a vacuum and that conceiving of the audience is more important than sticking with problematic phrasing.

I know that I can relate to it. When I was younger, I didn't think that "oh, I am x and always have been x, I just wasn't born with the right body." I thought "I really wish I was y, but no, I'm x. I really want to be y." It wasn't until much later that I was able to piece my identity together so nicely.

Re: DA

[(Anonymous)]

I think the word "body" is ableist

Re: DA

[fairhearing.livejournal.com]

lol

[hosekisama.livejournal.com]

Or not; I think the proposed story could work for a transwoman... OR a literal boy who wanted to be a girl for reasons other than expression of gender identity. Maybe 'he' identifies as gender-neutral and wants to 'see the other side;' maybe any number of things.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh come on.

[(Anonymous)]

You're assuming the OP is wanting to write about a trans girl, but the secret doesn't say that. It's possible for a boy to want to be a girl, knowing he isn't one. I think that's what the OP meant, and is afraid of reactions like yours that think the character is supposed to be trans.

It's also possible that some trans girls think of themselves as "boys who want to be girls" at some point because that's the closest way they can describe it concretely for the time being. And that's OK.

OP

[lainember.livejournal.com]

I know it doesn't matter much (as the wank is already over and I doubt anyone is coming back to check these comments), but I really did mean the former.

[fairhearing.livejournal.com]

BLRRHGARGAGGAGGRRHHRRHRHRHR BERSERKER BARRAGE SJ MODE ENGAGED

[westerned.livejournal.com]

p much

[starkmaximum.livejournal.com]

Every angry internet commenter is Wolverine forever now.

[(Anonymous)]

Newsflash, we still live in a world where not everyone knows exactly how to phrase trans issues. Get your big boy/girl/etc panties untwisted, pull up your bootstraps, and fucking deal with the phrasing. This secret is clearly not derogatory, and you shitting yourself over the phrasing solves nothing. Next time you have an issue with how someone phrased something, try calmly stating your opinion instead of mashing your cheeto-stained fingers against the keyboard in a blind rage.

TIA!

[(Anonymous)]

For some of us, it does. Please stop saying you know how "it" works for everyone.

And frankly? It bothers me most that the OP feels they can't write something because of THIS EXACT RESPONSE. Since when do we decide (without reading the work) that a story has no artistic merit?

[feanorian.livejournal.com]

THIS. All of it. Thank you, anon, for saying this so I don't have to.

[(Anonymous)]

Sometimes it is. Guys fetishize femininity all the time, a lot of guys wear women's clothing for no other reason than they want to jerk off to the idea of being a girl. This isn't a unique phenomena. Call it offensive all you want but it does exist.

[(Anonymous)]

Holy freaking crap, what is wrong with so many people in this thread?

What in the world is offensive about the phrasing "a boy who wants to be a girl"? Oh, so the secret-maker decided not to go into a several paragraph long explanation of *exactly* what variation of gender identity the theoretical fanfic character s/he is talking about has. Oh noes. S/he decided to give us a short rundown instead of a wall of text. As someone with an atypical gender identity myself, I don't see the problem here. Like, at all.

Chill pills, y'all. Fo' serious.