Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2011-09-17 03:16 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2011-09-17 03:16 pm
[ SECRET POST #1719 ]
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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[ link for porny ]
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 11 pages, 256 secrets from Secret Submission Post #246.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.
2/2
(Anonymous) 2011-09-20 08:30 pm (UTC)(link)So, really, it had nothing to do with Butler's past on Bulbagarden. I know that Valentine still doesn't get what the wank was all about on either side, and she makes it a point to not give two shits about Bulba drama in the first place. bobandbill generally doesn't give two shits about drama at all, and he's usually the most diplomatic member on the board. Dragonfree doesn't give two shits about who's posting at all; she just likes voicing an incredibly blunt opinion whenever she sees an opportunity to do it. And really, Butler's past on a completely different board would have had just as much relevance as your past: none at all. Serebii members might be shitheads on every other forum, but the more sane members of the fanfiction forum (read: the people who posted in that thread) tend to be above doing things for petty reasons, so we really weren't thinking at all about that, just in the same way that no one was thinking about your past when they replied to you there.
Anyway, I'm also saying that communication is a tricky bastard that needs a good sense of empathy to pull off. And I know that non-neurotypicals can sometimes have problems with empathy, which is why I'm not really emphasizing that you learn how to be empathetic because I know that's probably out of the question. All I'm saying is that sometimes, if people seem like they're targeting you, it might actually be the other way around, so you'll want to be open to that possibility and be patient with the people who are discussing the downsides of your arguments.
Of course, I agree that not a lot of people are actually attempting civility (hello, many of the PDers in the bad_mods_suck thread), and I agree that it's rather shitfaced and hypocritical of those people to expect you to treat everyone else like people when the fuckheads won't do the same for you. Still, that doesn't mean everyone has ulterior motives or is targeting you, so if you don't understand something, try to think of ways to phrase "I don't get it" without sounding like you're attacking someone. The positive response versus the negative response I'd mentioned earlier, in other words. Of course, this strategy won't work on everyone, and to that, all I can say for advice is don't try to discuss anything with an SJ warrior because the attitude you described is pretty much exactly what can be expected of them, as ironic and hypocritical as that is.
Not even going to get into the rage I feel about the Aspie thing. I read that on your journal too, and I swear to God, that's going to need a completely different rant about how much I (ironically) hate people. I mean, I've seen you around fandom for forever, and I never got the vibe that you were just pretending to be an Aspie. I've seen a lot of dumbfucks try to claim they're autistic just to have an excuse to treat people like shit, so I know for certain that's not what you're doing. At all. And the people who are pulling that BS require a third rant, so I'm just going to quit while I'm not frothing at the fucking mouth.
Re: 2/2
I'm actually incredibly empathetic. But it's hard to convey through the internet. I feel a lot for other people, especially when my friends are going through hard times. But when people make no sense, that's a different matter altogether.
I've flat out said "I don't get it" and I get accused of all manner of shit, especially the whole "you're trying NOT to get it" bull that just smacks of other people either not wanting to explain or not being able to back up their own points. I mean hell, I'm in an arguement right now where someone is literally inserting a very important word that changes the entire meaning of their initial statement AFTER saying it. Not even as "this is what I meant to say" but claiming it was there all along and I clearly didn't read it if I got ANYTHING else but what they "said" (read: didn't say at all) out of it.
Oh by all means froth at the mouth. It may do some good if anyone happens to still be reading this.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-09-21 07:31 am (UTC)(link)Quick note (or some semblance thereof) about the opposite end, but basically, what I meant is that while you're both Aspie, sure, you handle things differently from him. While, yes, you're obviously a sensitive person, your first instinct seems to be to get cold. Looking at your posts, you say what's on your mind without even trying to sugarcoat it. In other words, you usually think or attempt to say things with a neutral tone, yes? That's like being Cyrus in that you're avoiding acting on emotion. Meanwhile, if you wrong Butler, meanwhile, he doesn't try to aim for neutrality; he actually flips and doesn't bother to mask his emotions. He will capslock at you if he's pissed, and he will ragequit or act without thinking things all the way through. In that sense, Butler acts on emotions, not rationality, so from his point of view, emotions are a big factor in an argument.
I'm not sure if I'm making sense, but I guess to continue on with the Cyrus analogy, it's like the difference between Cyrus and Special!Pryce. One of them tries to avoid acting on anger; the other flips out so much he
kidnaps small children to do his biddingdoesn't entirely think things through all the way. So, yeah, that's why it's tricky communicating with him: because not being extremely careful with what you say and how it comes off ends with him literally not listening to you for a while. I know that I've said things as diplomatically as possible with words I thought were pretty carefully chosen, and I still wound up setting him off, just because what I was saying came at the wrong time or because I was still too blunt. For most people, you just have to worry about being somewhere between you (Cyrusland) and Butler (Pryce on fire) in terms of checking yourself and making sure your words don't look like they have a negative tone attached to them, but because you were communicating with Butler, that just meant you would've had to go the extra mile and really read what you were saying a couple times over, basically. Otherwise, yeah, it's harder to get him to see your way.As for the not getting it part, I'm going to have to eventually suck it up and read the tl;dr threads because I get the feeling that's the majority of where that's happening. I'm just going by what I've observed on forums and so forth, so I'm guessing the meat of that issue is on threads I haven't read yet (besides PD because we're in agreement that that thread was a massive clusterfuck).
Frothing at the mouth. I'm so very tempted to do it, but I'm pretty sure what I wrote so far is already going to end up being split into two comments again. I don't want to know how many comments pages of rants would end up being. But it's definitely forthcoming because there are people I want to bitchslap. (Protip to the people who are about to cause the second of those two rants: Just because you're anywhere on the AS does not mean we'd be A-OK with you making blatantly sexist remarks like "it's biologically proven that males are better than females.") So I might write it on my sock account and link it here eventually instead. Or grow a pair and write it on my actual LJ account. Whichever I'm feeling like doing when it's not literally the middle of the night (and why I'm awake and on F!S is a mystery for the ages because I'm clearly not coherent).
no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-09-21 07:32 am (UTC)(link)no subject
You know, comparing it to characters makes sense. One of the reasons I identify with Cyrus is that he clearly HAS emotions, and very strong ones, no matter how much he tries to present himself as neutral all the time, and I think that's how I come off to people, like they think I can't be rational no matter how much I try to present myself as such. Like no matter how much I try, I can't hide them.
Haha yeah, I tell ya, a lot of people on Bulbagarden try to get away with using AS as an out for shit behavior, but they don't realize that something like 50% of the mod staff has AS and doesn't tolerate bullshit. But fortunately, we don't assume that they're lying, just that they're being asshats. I think a lot of that is the age of most of the members. They think that it's a valid shield, and have to learn that we're not going to tolerate it being used as such.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-09-22 02:21 am (UTC)(link)Also, awesome that the comparison didn't fall flat. Honestly, if there's any fictional character I associate with you, it's Cyrus for the exact reason you brought up. I'm not sure if it's because I've seen a lot of your character on
You have a good point about it being age and how kids like that just need to learn that AS doesn't mean "free pass at being an asshat." I'm a bit leery, though, at the people who claim they're eighteen or older doing it, especially if they've been to other forums. Of course, they still might not be lying about being an Aspie or autistic on any other level, but still.
no subject
Yeah, the whole point is basically out of a really twisted altruism, like "you all have fucked it up, now stand aside, I won't let you fuck things up any more". And insofar as motivation, he talks a lot about strife, which I know is vague but gives the implication that he wants to end suffering (especially his bizarre pacifism that you mentioned. And no, that was one of the far more in-keeping-with-the-games moments. It's mostly the ending that made it wildly OOC, especially since "going off somewhere alone" is something he says pretty much word for word that he'll NEVER do in the games). There's also a lot of frustration, at a variety of things. His backstory, which we get in Pt, is pretty simple but it's easy to see how it could lead to where it did--he was a genius child but his parents were never pleased, so he retreated emotionally and took to machinery. Basically, logical things that could be rebuilt, and that he could control.
Then there's the non-canon-but-plausable idea that, since Sunyshore (his hometown) is based on a town that was almost wiped out in WW2, so depending on how close to the real world you want to think things are, he would have grown up with that having happened in his grandfather's time (and according to Pt, his grandfather seems to be the only person in his family who cared for him).
Blaaah I go on and on when prompted. I don't really have any war destruction in my history but I do have extreme pressure to succeed. Basically when I was young I had the grades to be in honors classes but no administration would let me because of my behavior issues, so I had to basically keep everything under wraps and remain beyond reproach (it...didn't exactly work, but I did manage to get into honors classes eventually). So to me, people were basically keeping me out of classes for no reason, because to me my reactions were entirely logical. As my reactions now are. People give me shit, I fight back. Do they expect me to sit there and take it? Did they ever?
Yargle I've blabbed so much.