[ SECRET POST #1753 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1753 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.


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03.


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04.


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05.
[Secret of Kells]


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06.


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07.
[Shortpacked/Strangers With Candy]


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08.
[Ricky Gervais]


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09.


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10.
[Marshall Eriksen]


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11.
[Lady Gaga/Tony Bennett]


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12.


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13.


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14.
[ThouShaltNot]


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15.


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16.
[Russell Howard and Jon Richardson]


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17.


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18.


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19.
[Queer as Folk]


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20.
[Thor]


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21.
[Blacksad]


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22.


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23.


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24.
[The Iron Giant]


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25.
[Dragon Age 2]


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26.
[Fringe]


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27.
[Monster High]


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28.


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29.


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30.
[Tropic Thunder fake trailer]


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31.
[Doctor Who]


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32.
[Kane chronicles]


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34.


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35.
[BBC Sherlock]


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36.
[Spaced]


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37. [repeat]


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38.
(Transformers: Prime)


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40.


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41.


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42.


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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]














43. [SPOILERS for Gears of War 3]



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44. [SPOILERS for SPN]



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45. [SPOILERS for SPN]



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46. [SPOILERS for FMA]



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47. [SPOILERS for The Mentalist]



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48. [SPOILERS for Marvel (X-Factor, Avengers)]



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49. [SPOILERS for Community]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]















50. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]



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51. [TRIGGER WARNING for abuse]



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52. [TRIGGER WARNING for sexual assault]



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53. [TRIGGER WARNING for gore]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #250.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[straydog733.livejournal.com]

I like how, whenever there's danger, Vernon is right there in front, pushing Petunia and Dudley behind him. While the reader knows to sympathize with the wizards, these are people coming into his home and threatening his family, and he's not gonna take it. He points a rifle in a half-giant's face; actually pretty badass.

It just seems to highlight the point that, while he is a douchebag, he still is a husband and father. If only he didn't fail so hard on the uncle part.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree. He genuinely cared about his family.

If he had been more open-minded about magic and more "not normal" things, Harry would have been in the best hands possible. ;_;

...

...

Hey, guys, is anyone's "plot-bunny" sense tingling or is it just me?

[straydog733.livejournal.com]

I had an idea for an AU that I prompted on comment_fic earlier today: Petunia and Vernon put aside their grudges to raise Dudley and Harry as brothers, completely equal. So both boys end up spoiled, greedy, horrible little brats.

...yeah, imagine Dumbledore coming back ten years later to find his messiah cramming bacon into his face and whining that he didn't get enough presents this year, then running outside to team up with his cousin/foster brother and light cats on fire.

[(Anonymous)]

holy crap

[straydog733.livejournal.com]

I go back and forth on whether Dudley would be worse with someone in the house to team up with, or if it was the ready-made victim that brought out so much nastiness.

Isn't it mentioned in the first book that Dudley did kill one of the neighbor's dogs?

[(Anonymous)]

oh my god

I can't remember, it's been years since I read the first book. I do remember that Dursley ran over one of Mrs. Figgs cats with a bicycle or something similar. And then Mrs. Figgs.

[judo-creature.livejournal.com]

Oh God, this is the best thing ever. xD

[straydog733.livejournal.com]

Heh, thanks. I'm imagining Harry, Dudley, and Piers trying to out-thug Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle. It would just turn into a series about a horrible child protagonist being a dick to everyone around him.
...
......more than it usually is.

[kyogres.livejournal.com]

......more than it usually is

Glad I'm not the only one who thought this.

PS - I would so read that AU!

[judo-creature.livejournal.com]

LOL.

My thought is that the Malfoy Crowd would win, just due to being three wizards against one wizard and two muggles.

[i-paint-the-sky.livejournal.com]

That would be INCREDIBLE!

[straydog733.livejournal.com]

Hagrid comes to deliver the letter, but can't get a word in over Harry and Dudley devouring the birthday cake.

He buys all the candy off of the trolley, but doesn't share any with Ron, and puts gum in Hermione's hair when she walks past.

The Sorting Hat cries after it has to see inside his head.

He lets the troll kill everyone.

[i-paint-the-sky.livejournal.com]

And he and Draco could fit it out for biggest jerk in Slytherin! It would be wonderful!

[http://users.livejournal.com/___flight_risk/]

I am DYING right know, because one of the hardest things about SS for me is the repeated mentions of how truly pathetic Harry's life was. In your version, his "had never had anything to share or anyone to share with" would be "had plenty to share, but DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK."

[jessieheart.livejournal.com]

..............dear god that's beautiful. :O

[rosehiptea.livejournal.com]

That is amazing...

[the-kumquat.livejournal.com]

...I would read the hell out of this fic, man, seriously.

[straydog733.livejournal.com]

*dramatic music*

IT HAS BEGUN!

(Check out the comment below yours)

[magusmanx.livejournal.com]

I need this fic.

Harry Potter-Dursley and the Tragic Lack of Bacon

[straydog733.livejournal.com]

(You all talked me into it. I lay this abomination squarely at your feet :P)


Nearly ten years had passed since the Dursleys had woken up to find their nephew on the front step, but Privet Drive had hardly changed at all. The sun rose on the same tidy front gardens and lit up the brass number four on the Dursleys' front door; it crept into their living room, which was almost exactly the same as it had been on the night when Mr. Dursley had seen that fateful news report about the owls. Only the photographs on the mantelpiece really showed how much time had passed.

Ten years ago, there had been lots of pictures of what looked like a large pink beach ball wearing different-colored bonnets -- but Dudley Dursley and Harry Potter-Dursley were no longer babies, and now the photographs showed two large boys riding their first bicycles, on a carousel at the fair, playing a computer game with their father, being hugged and kissed by their mother.

For Harry Potter-Dursley was still there, asleep at the moment, but not for long. His Aunt Petunia was awake and it was her shrill voice that made the first noise of the day, calling up the stairs.

“Harry-dear, come downstairs for your special double-birthday breakfast!”

Petunia would have walked up the stairs and opened the door, as she had when the boys were younger, waking each with a kiss on the forehead, but the long years of carrying a portly toddler on each hip had caused nightmares for her back and knees; the stairs were only a challenge to be taken when necessary. She called up again.

“Hurry, darling, or Duddey will have opened all his presents before you’ve gotten to yours!”

That was enough to pull him out of bed. The springs in the mattress creaked as Harry rolled and dangled his thick legs over the edge. He blinked, yawned widely, and promptly forgot the last traces of the previous night’s dream (something about motorcycles or demolition derbies or maybe that toy car that his aunt and uncle better had gotten him for Dudley’s birthday).

The Dursley had not always given both boys presents for both birthdays. But not a single June would pass without Harry making a terrible fuss while he watched Dudley open present after present. The whining and crying and kicking would go on for weeks and weeks, and just when both Petunia and Vernon were at their wits end, July 31st would roll around and Harry would be happy. And Dudley would start throwing tantrums. On the boy’s seventh year, they had realized that the easiest thing would be to give both boys two birthdays; and besides, who could deny their little angels one more special day each?

Re: Harry Potter-Dursley and the Tragic Lack of Bacon

[jessieheart.livejournal.com]

It's... GLORIOUS.

[murderershair.livejournal.com]

holy hilarious awesome, Batman

I want this fic like whoa

[straydog733.livejournal.com]

Check above!

[(Anonymous)]

reminds me of the plot of "The Secret of Platform 13"

[marshwiggledyke.livejournal.com]

omg that book.

Also the first part of Good Omens, where the supposed Antichrist is cosseted and pampered until he's totally unlikeable.