fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST#1819 ]

[ SECRET POST#1819 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1819 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

__________________________________________________

11.

__________________________________________________

12.

__________________________________________________

13.

__________________________________________________

14.

__________________________________________________

15.

__________________________________________________

16.

__________________________________________________

17.

__________________________________________________

18.

__________________________________________________

19. [repeat]

__________________________________________________

20.

__________________________________________________

21.

__________________________________________________

22.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 112 secrets from Secret Submission Post #260.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
New Year's Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

06. http://i41.tinypic.com/k05185.png

Well, if you know that you do this and you wish you had some fandom friends - as you apparently do - why don't you make more effort not to bitch at people?

Because it's easier to complain about your lack of friends and post fandom secrets than it is to not be a douchebag. Or at least that's what my Bitter Cynic half thinks =/

This. We're talking about the Internet here, not a face-to-face conversation. If your first impulse is to say something cruel or mean, OP, then it's not like you're blurting it out and can't take it back. It takes longer to type something than say it, and you have a handy backspace key. If you're really convinced that you can't help yourself, even during the time it takes you to write whatever bitchy thing that pops into your head, then start giving yourself a rule that you'll wait 5 minutes (or whatever arbitary time you think you need) before replying to any comment, so you're not going with your first instinct but actually putting thought into what you're saying and how it might be perceived. It's a lot easier to change your online attitude than it is your RL one, but it can also start to help your RL issues as well when you start to see how people react to your new attitude.

It's easy to say something fairly innocuous and still come off some other way. Text is a pain in the ass because you don't get the tone of voice or anything that would inform your perception of someone else's comments. I'm not saying that's what OP's saying, but your comment just brought it to mind.

That's very true, but in this case the OP is specifically saying that they "snap and bitch" at people, so it's the content as much as the tone. Tone can be difficult to portray online, but if the content is bitchy then that's what needs to change. While the tone could still be mistaken for bitchy, it's a lot less likely if the content of the comment isn't bitchy itself.

True, true.

THIS! It happens all the time. I was talking how in the middle ages having a faith would help many people through their shitty lives. (And I don't think anyone can argue that life in middle ages Europe was wonderful for anyone). And Somehow that became modern day Atheists lives are pointless and shit because they don't believe in God.

Or I'm joking around, and because tone is not conveyed, it's not taken as a joke. :(

You have the self-awareness to know what the problem is, now acquire the willpower to change. The change might be very gradual, but you owe it to yourself to put forth an effort (unless if you decide you like being alone).

Don't worry anon, it's never too late to change! The fact you recognize the root of the problem is a good sign; just don't let it hold you back next time, and things will get better.

/probably sounds very naive saying this but is going on actual experiences

Edited 2011-12-27 01:46 (UTC)

We know, emseviltwin.

I'm in the same boat. I say things people don't agree with, they take out of context and so forth. It hurts that I've been branded crazy. But I do get mad when people attack things I love in my fandom or just dismiss close to 20 years of the program. One commentor in this comm has such different views then I do we might as well be different planets. And he can be so offensive! I see red when he says very insulting things about stuff I love.
Other people I try to reason with, I am trying to tone it down. And say constantly this just my opinion, and you can like what you like, so can I.

But when I see a whole thread devoted to tearing down: my Real life hero, my favorite era in Doctor who, my Doctor, etc. etc. I feel the need to defend it. It's like someone poking me with a stick in the side.

Also when a man tries to tell me which author is sexist and which isn't and then when I say: No, you've got that wrong. One is less sexist but has realistic view for the time and place the story place and the other though I love him is sexist and had admitted he can't write women. Then said commentar calls me a Feminazi, I'm like WTF?!

A handful of people doing that? Yeah, I could buy them taking stuff you say the wrong way because we were simply not meant to communicate via text alone. But if so many people have done it to the point that you've been "branded crazy"...then I think you might have to consider that people ARE reading you right, and you're saying some genuinely stupid things.

Well, I have I admit it. But when I explained to them that at the time I was off my pysch meds and in a bad place, I was in debilitating physical. What they said and the fact they dragged out the fight longer were more cruel then political arguments I've had online. I mean four days?! Over something that happened five months before the fact?! They told me: '
I didn't even read most of that comment because i don't care.'

Fandom makes me shake my head with sadness. People don't care if you are Republican or Democrat but push your view a little to hard.

I mean I read fandom_wank, I've seen crazys: Snape wives, psuedo-cides, sockpuppets, weird scandals, people taking shipping way to seriously, stalkers and all kinds of things.

I'm NONE of those. All I want is for people watch Old and new Doctor who when they get the chance or at least read the wiki articles so they KNOW they show they love, before they shoot their mouth off and say dumb things about it because they don't know canon. All I want is to say what I like about my favorite Writer, Doctor, Series

As I said to me some comments feel like someone is poking me with a stick, it's almost impossible for me not to respond. I could try, I could. I could shut down the computer turn off the lights and try to sleep but I'd be up and typing a reply in a half an hour.

DA

Except you ARE those. You don't take shipping way too seriously, but you take everything you like super-seriously, and go for the throat when it comes to anybody not enjoying it in exactly the way you do.

You know you personally turned me off watching Classic Who? I'll tell you why: if you're an example of your fandom, I wouldn't join for a million dollars and a puppy.

I wouldn't blame you, I don't like puppies, kittens are better they usually poop in a certain place and purr.

I go for the throat?

Well I'm sick of ignorance in the Doctor who fandom people will say: 'The Doctor would NEVER do that!' when he has a dozen times just not in the new series.
People have this idea that he knows all, at one point he didn't. At one point he just ended up places and people died, a lot of the time the very people he was trying to save all of them.

No one should assume with the Doctor what he did and didn't do in the name of good (sometime not good just 'get me out of here') varies from era to era. And no one should flat out say the Doctor would never unless it's something really sexual because that never happens on screen. But all sorts of other violent, cruel and underhanded things? He may have done them. He's no saint. There is a reason everything in the universe is afraid of him.

And I'm sorry I turned you off watching classic who, very sorry.

I said I was sorry over and over again. I feel bad for people who don't have the time or money to watch it and don't want to download it.I just don't get people who don't see the wonderful, that's all.

Diff anon

It's nice that you want to share your love of fandom with people. What isn't nice is that you've declared yourself as holder of the Arbitary Measuring Stick Of Fandom. You don't get to tell people how they should enjoy canon, what they should do to prove they know canon, and that they can't have an opinion unless they've gone through your checklist of how to enjoy canon. People can develop an opinion of a character from one episode. If they watch more episodes, maybe that opinion will change. Maybe more episodes will only re-enforce their opinion. But they are still entitled to that opinion, their opinion is not 'wrong', and they are allowed to express that opinion within fandom. I think you'd find fandom a lot more enjoyable if you stopped trying to police how other people participate. That is not your right.

Can I still laugh at them somewhere if it's wrong?

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2011-12-28 10:09 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

finmagik.livejournal.com - 2011-12-28 13:22 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2011-12-29 08:20 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

finmagik.livejournal.com - 2011-12-29 08:35 (UTC) - Expand

It's all about how you explain this sort of thing to people. I'm in another fandom where there are misunderstandings or seemingly disrespectful statements from people who just don't know.

The HBO war fandom, so Band of Brothers, The Pacific, Generation Kill - all true stories told by actors, which people don't realise. We've had all sorts of things recently, eg. "omg why did McAvoy's character die? screw you, writers!" and we had to explain nicely that actually, Private James Miller really did die in Holland.

If you get your words and tone right, they take it well and understand, because most of the time they genuinely didn't know it was about real people or that they would be seen as disrespectful. It's only if you get the explanation wrong (even just a slightly-off tone would do it) that you upset people.

I understand what it's like to be so passionate about your subject when you know so much about it and others don't, but it's just a case of finding exactly the right way of putting things so you show people that while they may not have all the knowledge yet, they can learn and that you and others can help, and you're not angry that they didn't know.

Edited 2011-12-27 14:46 (UTC)

Well it's hard to convey that in text and I think I'm saying things nicely and others don't.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2011-12-27 17:22 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

finmagik.livejournal.com - 2011-12-27 17:26 (UTC) - Expand

Yeah... it is true that finmagik is widely known as kind of a crazy in the Doctor Who fandom. Her desperate attempts to make the fandom understand her point of view just serve to dig herself even deeper :(

AYRT

Just googled her. I...gathered that. Holy shite. I'm not even in this fandom (never watched any of Who, don't intend to because it ain't my thing) and I'm...mos def a little skeered *backs away slowly*

Then why the fuck do none of these people have REAL usernames? One gave the even more batshit reason that she didn't want in her fandoms. Like I'm going look something I have NO interest in and suddenly become interested in it because a person who is MEAN to me likes it? That's not earth logic.

What the FUCK?!

And why did they wait FOUR months. I had a crazy outbreak in August but then when I was trying to civilly to defend Neil Gaiman in thread in November they showed up and harassed me for four days. Four days?! Who has time to go on with a spat that long? And linking back to it. Okay then I thught it was ONE person with a vendetta. I really hoped it was.

Look if I know someone's user name, then I feel I can relate to them as human usually see what they like, don't like maybe read their journal if it's not friends only and see pictures of their pet hamster Jojo eating a sunflower seed. And not see them as this evil faceless borg-like OTHER. Who the hell wants to be That?!

Look it's gotten to the point I can't say: 'I love cake!' on this Comm without people yelling at me. I keep going because.... I don't know, I've had a shit day mostly, not going to say what. But it was shit.

But really why keep it going for Four days, the last day was Thanksgiving didn't those people have turkeys to baste or yams to candy? That they hated more then I don't know... people on poltics or homophobes LBGT rights threads in other forums, hell worse then person that said I raped my cat (?!) it made my head hurt. I shouldn't have gotten drawn in. I thought it was over, I started posting under my screenname. I got into a weird debate about Doctors, the person said she was just doing a friendly sort of teasey thing. And I said I'd had problems bad problems on this comm, I felt I was bullied had the thread frozen, and it's hard to tell tone in text. She said: 'ah okay' And then at 3 am. Yes 3 in the MORNING I suppose I was up for a snack, I checked my e-mail. There was some anon saying I was a whiner and crazy.

Look, I started the fire yes, but it burnt out I thought. Then someone re-lit it and poured gas on it. I don't like faceless bullying anons, I don't like what I've become. But I've vowed not to leave. No idea why.

Yeah, stop doing that shit. Damn.

we got opposite problems, nonna!

i'm so *scared* of annoying people (for whatever reason- i'm not talented enough, i obsess too much over one character in particular, etc) that i just lurk continuously and dont reach out to other fans

4ever alone

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only