[ SECRET POST#1819 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1819 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 112 secrets from Secret Submission Post #260.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
New Year's Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fierceawakening.livejournal.com]

+1

I think some people are attracted to intense polarities and others are not. I've never quite understood why those who aren't spend so much time dissing those who are.

[ariseishirou.livejournal.com]

I can't speak for everyone, but the reason I did it rather vehemently when I was younger was that the amount of intensely polarized relationships in BL/slash was overwhelming. I was so sick of it that I would rage about it given the opportunity. Of course, that's not the solution. Writing what one likes instead is the solution, and I have since and other people who share my tastes have as well, and now there's a lot more variety out there. There isn't much need to complain anymore.

I know my usual RP partner/beta often did because he's a queer man himself and it felt, to him, like we were telling him how he was "supposed" to behave in a relationship, when IRL he doesn't have those inclinations at all nor did it reflect his lived reality in any meaningful sense. Like we were telling him that as a gay man he had to pick to be either "the man" or "the woman" in his relationships. Which is grating and ridiculous and I completely understand how it would rankle him; it rankled me, too. Of course, again, the solution is to write things more reflective of his reality, and leave to each their own.

[fierceawakening.livejournal.com]

Thanks for responding!

I can see how that would be overwhelming.

My side of the story is that I'm dominant and somewhat masculine, and I'm attracted to people who are feminine (at the time I was into yaoi, feminine men, though I'm now more attracted to feminine women, though I still am strongly attracted to both) and submissive. Because I'm female, I've received the message all my life that people like me either don't exist or are weird caricaturey dominatrixes that just act silly. I enjoy polarized stuff like yaoi and some slash because, although there is no one of my gender in it, it presents relationships like those I want as the default. For me, it is really refreshing to enter fictional space where people who are wired like me is so totally normal it's the presumed default. It's very relaxing and calming to me, so back when I was a yaoi fan I pretty much devoured everything I could find. It felt so good to not be the weird one! (As a young adult, I had things like my own parents telling me it's wrong for women to make the first move and I'd grow up to be a slut no one would love if I didn't act passive with the boys who liked me. Of course between women someone has to initiate sometimes... but they had reasons why I'm not gay, as well, so... :-/)

I'm older now and don't feel so alone and my interest in yaoi has waned a lot. But even the fic I like and the fic I enjoy writing in the fandoms I'm in tends to have that sense of... "in this alternate universe/culture, these sexualities are not just accepted, but the norm for this particular culture."

I recognize that not everyone's me, and I don't like hearing that other people feel overwhelmed by the opposite of what overwhelmed me. But I hope people realize that sometimes what they can't stand is what someone else identifies with to keep from going nuts.

[relmneiko.livejournal.com]

...man, are you me.

As much as I've been annoyed with seme/uke dynamics (and its implications) as a cliche at times, I always really, really liked it on a visceral level. I always identified with jerkass semes (I tend to be a bit of a jackass myself, though I believe I stop short of crazy abusive rapist...) and enjoyed seeing submissive men dominated. You just don't get to see such femme submissive men often elsewhere! I've enjoyed so many stories fandom loves to hate on because they turn me on to hell. Lookin' at you, Okane ga Nai.

[fierceawakening.livejournal.com]

You just don't get to see such femme submissive men often elsewhere!

Thiiiiis!

I guess it's weird and issueful to identify with really one-dimensional ukes.

But I'm generally too busy wanting to do things to them to even think about this.