[ SECRET POST #1848 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1848 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 63 secrets from Secret Submission Post #264.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[intrigueing.livejournal.com]

I wasn't really comparing the two phenomenon as "shown in media". I certainly don't think they're comparable when you relate them to real life. I was simply pointing out that men are assumed to be able to understand the difference between fantasy and reality, yet women are apparently morons who, if they're attracted to a character who happens to be crappily-written and abusive, MUST think that abusive boyfriends are great to have in real life. Because, you know, women's only sexual desires are having relationships and making babies, so if they think a male character is sexy, of course they must want him to be their husband! Which is ridiculous and insulting. I already said in my first comment that I do think the abusive elements of the book are problematic -- for young girls who actually don't know better and may not really see the problems with the character. Mature teen girls and adults who read them as escapist guilty pleasures do know better, and it's disgusting to tell them that they're a bad person for enjoying their little fantasy.

I think you kind of pointed out the problem yourself -- dangerous fictional women are usually portrayed as bad, but equally dangerous fictional men aren't. That's a sexist and crappy state of affairs that annoys me because it's so divorced from reality, and I wouldn't want young, immature girls exposed to it. But it does not mean grown women are so stupid and gullible that they can't tell for themselves that a dangerous fictional man isn't someone they would want as a boyfriend in real life, regardless of how the author portrays his behavior.

[lovelycudy.livejournal.com]

I don't assume women are stupid for believing that abusive models of relationships are good. But, to be honest, I've seen a large amount of Twilight fans (as we are talking about this series in particular) who see nothing wrong with the way relationships are portrayed in the books. I rarely see people saying "well, this is wrong, but it's my kink" -which is fine and I agree- but I see a lot of people saying "he was only protecting her! He loves her so much that he can't be without her!" which, imho, is not healthy at all.

Someone mentioned Spike/Buffy somewhere in this thread. I think there are differences: they had a mutually abusive relationship -and I think Buffy had more power than Spike- up to the rape attempt. But, trough all the arc, the show acknowledge that relationship as fucked up and people who, like me, like it, like it for the wrongness, while being aware that behaviour like that doesn't fly in real life.