[ SECRET POST #1864 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1864 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Howl's Moving Castle]


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03.
[Doctor Who]


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04.
[Sailor Moon]


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05.
[Orphan]


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06. [repeat]


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07.
[Muppet Treasure Island]


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08.
[The Vampire Chronicles]


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09.
[American baseball]


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10.
[Wall-E]


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11.
[Death Note, BBC Sherlock]


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12.
[Virgin Love]


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13.
[Anne McCaffrey's Dinosaur Planet I & II]


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14.
[The Vampire Diaries]


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15.
[Die Ärzte]


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16.
[King of the Hill, Ben 10]


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17.
[Madonna]


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18.
[How I Met Your Mother]


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19.
[The Hunger Games]


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20.
[Phi Brain: Kami No Puzzle]


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21.
[Cover Up!, The Crow]


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22.
[Flashdance]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 031 secrets from Secret Submission Post #266.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

People are jumping to your defense and comforting you but I have to admit that my first thought is that you're a lousy friend and I certainly wouldn't want to claim that relationship with you. There isn't a single one of my friends who I wouldn't cheer up if they needed me. I may not be able to go to the lengths that Ted did for Robin but I would do my damnedest.

A friend of mine once had a medical emergency where she couldn't move her body. She was awake and conscious but she couldn't move a muscle. While we waited for EMTs, we held her, talked to her, touched her, and let her know she wasn't alone, that we weren't going to leave her for a second. When she was taken to the hospital, we met her there and took shifts standing by her bedside, holding her hand and talking to her late into the night until she was taken home. And that friend wasn't even one of my best 'hang out with on a daily basis' friends.

So yeah, maybe it's that you really do have sucky friends but it sounds to me like you're the miserable friends if you wouldn't want to comfort or care for a single one of your friends.

[kindlycoyote.livejournal.com]

I don't think anyone is assuming the OP's friends are bad. Most of the comfort seems to be focused on the OP's inability to connect with people in general. Which is a problem for some people.

I myself am always surprised when people start calling me a friend, because the vast majority of the time I do not consider them a friend at that point. Where a lot of people take only a couple weeks to connect and consider someone a friend, it takes me MONTHS to get even the basic connection. Sure, a lot of it comes from past baggage, but a lot of it is that I am slow to connect emotionally with people. However, I am also a sap so I would do a lot to comfort someone I don't even know, but that comes a lot from my tendency to idealize people before I get to know them.

The OP might just be hanging around the wrong type of people to inspire that kind of connection with. Friendship doesn't come easy for some.

OP; try to expand your social base and meet new people, and try one on one interactions as a primary way to hang out. I know I have even more trouble connecting with people in crowds. Start figuring out what makes you tick socially, sometimes it isn't what other people experience.

[(Anonymous)]

Not to cheapen what you did for your friend because that's really great, but it's actually easier to do great things for people when really serious, non-personal shit like that is going down. Someone with a good heart can do that even for people they don't really know. It's a lot harder to do great things for a friend if she/he is just unhappy, or in a bad place in their lives, or having a terrible day, or having personal problems, and needs to be cheered up, but won't ask for it, or let on that they're miserable, or tell you what's bothering them. You need a really strong personal connection to do that, unless you're the type of person who can become BFFs in an hour with someone you just met, and very few people are like that.

[(Anonymous)]

And I have done that too. I've comforted dozens of friends through break ups, depression, thesis and school work, family issues, death of a loved one, and other issues. My point to the OP with the other story was that you don't have to have a strong and deep connection with a friend to want to comfort them in times of trouble, which is why I think the OP is a lousy friend, if not a lousy over-all human being.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

As much as you're pumping up the great stuff you've done for your friends, you seem to be really shitty towards distressed strangers. I'm sure you're great for the people you know in times of trouble, but the fact that you're comfortable calling someone you've never met a "lousy over-all human being" based on a couple lines of text is...troubling, to say the least.

[(Anonymous)]

This x1000.

In fact, those who usually try to prove how OMG!AMAZING! they are generally aren't half as good as they claim. The fact that above anon needs to continuously prove (to complete strangers, no less) that they are a great friend/person and that anyone who can't act the same must be "lousy human beings" just goes to show that they themselves might not actually be all that great, after all.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not trying to prove anything. This was a thread about friendship so I was talking about friendship from my point of view. It's not like I walk around patting myself on the back and telling everyone I meet how awesome I am.

And yes, one of the ways I judge/look at people is by their friends. I know there is a saying somewhere about measuring a man through his interactions with his friends but I can't think of it at the moment. Because my friends are a very important part of my life and I can't imagine my life without them. So to me, someone who says that they 'do not give a single crap about any of my so-called friends' sounds to me like a horrible friend and not the nicest of people either.

Now OP, maybe you really do have lousy friends you can't connect to. In that case, I really do understand. In my childhood, I had friends who weren't very good for me and didn't really care about me, which is why I treasure my real friends in the present all the more. If that's the case, then I really do hope you can break away from them and find some worthwhile friends. But don't forget that you have to BE a friend to KEEP a friend.

[(Anonymous)]

It's a secret on Fandom Secrets. It's MEANT to be judged and interpreted by readers through just a couple of lines of text. I've just read a different meaning into the secret than everyone else has.

[(Anonymous)]

Hm, wanting to be able to be a good friend makes the OP a lousy human being? I wonder -- how exactly do you comfort all these people and be aware of when they're in trouble when you don't have a strong personal connection to them? You have "dozens" of friends? You have people just falling all over you telling you about their problems and being comfortable enough with you to let you comfort them? You must know a lot of people. You must make a lot of connections. You must be really confident and outgoing. You must have a big social circle. You must have a lot of friends. You must have a great reputation. You must be really LUCKY.

Seems to me, the OP doesn't have the kind of luck you have, and it's pretty shitty to jump to the conclusion that their social situation must be exactly the same as yours, except that they don't give a fuck about anyone.

[(Anonymous)]

I didn't say that wanting to be a good friend makes the OP a lousy person. It was the whole 'I don't give a crap about the current friends I do have' that made them sound like an unpleasant person to know.

Of course I don't expect them to have the same social situation as myself. There's not enough info in the secret to know the exact situation of the OP so I, like everyone else who read the secret, interpreted it to the best of my abilities. And to me, it sounded like the OP had friends and he realized he wasn't a very good friend to them. If he had said that they realized they don't have any friends but he wanted to make some so that he could be a great friend like Ted, I would have cheered him on. But the way I read the secret is that he has friends that he doesn't care about, for whatever reason.