Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2012-02-11 03:19 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2012-02-11 03:19 pm
[ SECRET POST #1866 ]
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS. #18 is a flashing/blinking gif.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 08 pages, 190 secrets from Secret Submission Post #267.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 3 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.
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2. That's kind of messed up. Screw "kind of". That IS. So it's totally okay for a friend IRL to just leave town without telling you? So why would it be okay for an online friend to do the same thing? Friends are friends, no matter where you get them. If I decided to to leave the city I live in I'm going to let my friends know because I owed it to them. If I decided to delete my main journal for whatever reason I'd owe it to my online friends to let them know.
I may not owe them an explanation, or even an apology, but I do owe them a head's up so that they won't be surprised one day when they find my apartment/journal empty. That's what friends DO. It's consideration is what it is.
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(Anonymous) 2012-02-11 11:10 pm (UTC)(link)Actually, I don't see a difference at all. Nobody owes you anything, not your bestest friend, not some random fanfic author. If someone chooses to give you explanations? Awesome. But they don't have to, even if it hurts your feelings and you go the rest of your life wondering what happened, which would definitely suck, don't get me wrong. You are still not entitled to be informed.
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I can say if my best friend did something like that and didn't have a damn good explanation if and when they returned, I'd be finding an ew best friend.
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(Anonymous) 2012-02-12 03:26 am (UTC)(link)no subject
I'd say it's fair to feel that person might have some actual obligation to you, and vice versa.
Though even if they are writing fanfics... that's not where those obligations are gonna come up.
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I know people tend to think of fans as leeches or whatever, but some of us honestly do invest a lot in certain authors/artists. We're just so proud of 'em, y'know? And maybe they don't OWE us a "good-bye", but it still doesn't make it okay for them to just bail without word. We supported them, we encouraged them, and that has to mean something.
It's a real kick in the gut when an author you love just vanishes without so much as a Sayonara.
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I don't understand this at all. If YOU didn't create the works, why are you proud of them?
Are you proud of "fostering" the creativity of authors and artists through your "being a fan"?
They don't do that for you, and you cant take ownership over their work like that just because you think you fostered them through your enjoyment of their works.
You read fanfic and looked at fanart because you wanted to. We're not "graced" by your attention.
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(Anonymous) 2012-02-11 11:47 pm (UTC)(link)You're right - it's shitty when someone up and leaves and gives you no word. You're worried and concerned because you have a connection with this person - which you likely thought was mutual - and them leaving without telling you is basically them saying you don't mean anything to them. Chances are? That's not the case, but it feels like it and I get that hurts. I really, honestly, truly do.
But it's not always so easy. Some people are inconsiderate jerks. Some people are caught up in issues in which they don't have the opportunity to communicate anything. And some people think a clean break is what's best - and are just as hurt as you. What it comes down to is that they get to choose how they behave and if you don't agree with it it's really just too bad.
Here's the good news: You get to choose how you feel about it. Focus on the good. Remember them at their best and hope they're well in whatever they're doing now. Look forward to the new people you'll meet. Let it go. You'll feel a whole lot better, I promise.
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The only time somebody shouldn't bow out is when there is a true obligation, which this doesn't cover. Some artists and writers take commissions, and that's not cool if they took the money, but I can't see any other time when there's any reason they can't.
Now, you have a right to feel disappointed. And if they ever emerge again, and they have no fans because people are mad at them, that's a consequence of their actions they deserve to bear.
But having fans means nothing more then what you and they choose to make of it. It means nothing if they think it meant nothing. Or at least not enough to make them stay because whatever.
If you want out, and you don't want to explain yourself, you don't have to.
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(Anonymous) 2012-02-12 02:11 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-02-12 03:34 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-02-11 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)I think it's kind of messed up that you think you're entitled. It might be nice and helpful for someone to give you a head's up in these situations, but they are not required to. End of story.
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(Anonymous) 2012-02-11 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)Or who's had certain influential and intolerant people in real life (ie. work, parents) come across their fandom activities?
There's all kinds of reasons for people to disappear and NO they don't always owe an explanation to readers or online "friends". There are times when that can actually be dangerous.
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(Anonymous) 2012-02-12 03:25 am (UTC)(link)What? Just because you read someone's Livejournal doesn't mean they're your friend. I have friends in real life, and I have people who read my fanfic. The people who read my fanfic are absolutely not nearly as important to me as my lifelong real-life friends and family. I think you have messed-up online relationships.