Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2012-03-06 06:53 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2012-03-06 06:53 pm
[ SECRET POST #1890 ]
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 108 secrets from Secret Submission Post #270.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.
no subject
And actually, you can be angry and expect change. Lots of times angry yelling has produced change in history. I don't think the marginalized are obligated to ask politely and hope the nice privileged people will make things all better for them. I think they may have to stand up and take a lot of the things that they want, and more power to them. Remember that angry yelling is still peaceful protest. It isn't a form of violence. I am not going to tell marginalized people that their peaceful protest wasn't polite enough, so no equality cookies for them!
I think the tone argument sort of rests on the idea that the privileged people still need to be appeased for anything to really change. I think that's kind of the opposite of change, though. Maybe just for once it can not be about privileged people's needs. Maybe the logical next step when no one is listening to you is to shout.
And imagine how frustrating it is to try to explain that someone stepped on your toes, only to have them say things like, "I'm sorry you think you were hurt," and when you give a detailed account of how the nerves in your toes carried the pain signal to your brain, and yes, it hurt, they go on to wonder if nerves even exist, I mean, given how we're all dust in the wind. At some point, you're just going to shout at them.
And actually I wish people would think more about the odors they spread in public places. A good jolt of perfume can make my mom sick all day. Imagine how it goes over if she's wheezing all day at work and her productivity is way down and has to tell her boss it's because some inconsiderate ass on the bus took an entire bath in perfume. With me it's cigarettes. I can't stand when people smoke within 20 feet of anyone else with lungs. (And sometimes further, with a good wind.) I've been out riding my bike, only to have a plume of cigarette smoke waft over to me, and suddenly lol I can't take that hill because I can't breathe. And what really kills me is if I hack and give them a filthy look, I'M rude.
People who can't handle substances like that are in the minority, yes. But I think it's time we stopped privileging the majority. The majority aren't the only people who go outside. The majority aren't the only people who use the bus (thankfully cigarettes aren't allowed in spaces like that anymore, though you can still get a pretty good chokefest going at the bus stop, but perfume?). It'll never be a safe space, but the world should be as accessible as possible to everyone. No one's denying that wheelchair ramps or streetlights that beep to let the blind know when they've changed are a bad thing, right? If we can make the world a place that is friendlier and easier to live in even if you're not in the majority, I say that's a damn good thing, and worth making a few minor changes in our thinking and routines.
And I like the power + prejudice definitions, because it's institutionalized prejudices that are doing the damage. Saying that a person of color hating white people is just as bad as a white person hating people of color is a false equivalency. They don't exist in the same context or do the same damage, and they don't even come from the same place. The PoC's hatred is probably from resentment of how white people's power has been used in the past, and in many cases, it doesn't mean that they hate individual white people, but rather the construct of whiteness, and how that power is used to harm. Saying that both people in this example are "racist" makes the term arbitrary rather than focusing on a real problem. This is...one of those things that's kind of hard to see until you "get" it, so if I'm not explaining it well let me know and I'll try harder.
Okay, I think I covered all the points you brought up? I hope that was comprehensible, I'm pretty fucked up on cough syrup right now. x___x
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-03-11 05:53 pm (UTC)(link)A world where I am not allowed to smoke in a public area is not a friendlier world to me and who are you to decide your rights are more important than mine? I hate tomato. I dislike the smell of it with the fire of a burning star. But people have the right to eat them and all I can do is move away or be a grown up and deal with it.
I am sick and tired of people thinking that their way is the correct way. I am sick and tired of people thinking their culture and their norms are the only valid ones.
no subject
Legality doesn't have shit to do with morality. I've seen women with babies in their arms stealing baby supplies from Wal-Mart, and I turned the other way even though it wasn't legal. I don't judge people who tell me they use drugs, because it's none of my business what they put in their own bodies.
I draw the line at them putting something in MY body, though. And cigarette smoke does not stay put. It meanders off in foul, toxic plumes. It burns my sinuses and makes my eyes water. It disrupts the functioning of my lungs. DAMN FUCKING RIGHT I AM GOING TO JUDGE PEOPLE FOR DOING THAT TO ME.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-03-11 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)You are not putting anything in your body, you are living in a society where you do not get the make the rules. You live around other people and have to learn to deal with it when people do legal, moral stuff where they are allowed to.
You judging people for wearing perfume or smoking (again, legal and morally acceptable acts) makes you a horrid person.
no subject
I knew a woman who smoked all over her kids every day, even when they came down with respiratory ailments and started wheezing. It was legal. It was also child abuse.
When I have neighbors who smoke, it comes through the fucking walls and chokes me in my own home. I feel trapped, not safe in my own bed. It's hellish. They don't even know they're doing it. And I have no idea what they're eating, because FOOD IS A SOLID.
(Are you anorexic or something? Seriously? FOOD bothers you? Get therapy.)
Fine, I'm a fucking horrid person. Not like the people with their perfume on so heavy it made my mom unable to function for the whole day and endangered her job. Not like the people giving other people (including their own kids) fucking cancer. Me.
Enjoy your cognitive dissonance as you piss everyone around you off with your disgusting, immoral, but quite legal habit that's a risk to public health. I hope they pass a law banning it once and for all.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-03-11 09:53 pm (UTC)(link)Smoking is not immoral. And it's just as disgusting as a lot of stuff people do all the time, like eating certain things. Or chewing gum with your mouth open. They would never pass a law against smoking in a public, open space because they would have to pass a law against eating or drinking. Do you see how it wouldn't work?
Wearing perfume? Not dangerous, not immoral, not illegal. Smelling good is a pleasing thing for most people. And yes, sometimes, the majority is important.
Food triggers panic attacks on me. It's a trigger. It's just as an important part of my life as my allergies. And yes, I do therapy. And yes, I do have an eating disorder. So go you, for being a jerk to someone who has a mental illness! Where's your "making the world a friendlier place" and all your SJ rhetoric? Or it only applies to things you approve of? You are an hypocrite.
no subject
I have trouble with people who have EDs sometimes. It's something I have to work on.
However, eating is healthy.
Cigarette smoke does measurable, physical harm, though. And it absolutely does come through walls. I'm lucky enough not to live in a place like that now, but there were times I could tell exactly when my neighbors lit up. It got so bad that I started smelling from it and people would ask me if I smoked. I couldn't shower it off. I couldn't keep it off my clothes. It was hell. And it was damaging my body, because that shit is TOXIC. Yes, it was secondhand smoke. It wasn't really much different than if they'd come into my bedroom and lit up. Shit was THAT STRONG.
Living here, the neighbors all seem to smoke outside, which would be great, except I'm on the ground floor and it just blows right in our windows. Again, it's just like they were smoking in my bedroom.
I don't mind people smoking in theory. If they could design a device that only got the smoke in the smoker's body, and not everywhere, I'd be cool with it. Or if the smoker was off in the wild yonder smoking where no one else could smell it, that'd be fine. I have a problem with other people selfishly damaging my health.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-03-11 10:06 pm (UTC)(link)And I am sorry that you have to experience something like that. I have... bad experiences with people who act like that towards smokers because they are usually really rude about it.
no subject
I am actually pro-decriminalization of drugs, because I believe in choice. I don't think anyone owes it to anyone else to be healthy. And I think a lot of the drugs that are illegal are not immoral...I actually have a lot of problems with the law. As long as you're not driving or operating heavy machinery while high, I don't see the problem.
I endured various people smoking all over me in silence for years. (Seriously, smoking in a car with closed windows and kids in the back should be against ALL THE LAWS.) Realizing I could get angry about it was like a revelation. That actually, they'd been rude to me first, and there was no reason I should suffer for their pleasure, that that was grossly unfair. I wasn't consenting, but I was being included in their drug use. (I feel the same way about having to breathe in other people's pot, especially since that stays in your system a while and could cause me to fail a drug test.)
So, I get kind of ragey....but it's because it's years of built-up frustration. And also asthma. And I don't stop and read people the riot act, I just sort of hold my breath and glare as I hurry past them. Just going down the street is like navigating an obstacle course. Hold breath here, run to get ahead of the person there. (And if I fail, have fun wheezing and not being able to run, lol!) At bus stops, I have to position myself upwind of everyone (and then always someone lights up like ten feet upwind of me and they're not even waiting for the bus why are they standing there??)
tl;dr: have fun doing whatever you like to your body, just leave mine alone and we're good.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-03-11 10:29 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
I'm not doing anything illegal.
Sometimes people get glared at. Such is life.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-03-11 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-03-11 10:46 pm (UTC)(link)