fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1893 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1893 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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07. http://i.imgur.com/GsSQ2.jpg
[linked because porny]

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[Heroes]

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[The Vampire Diaries]

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[Waqt]

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[West Wing]

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[Cabin Pressure, Father Ted]

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[Revolutionary Girl Utena]

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[Star Trek: The Next Generation]

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[Parks and Recreation]

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[My Little Sister Can't Be This Cute & High School of the Dead]

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[1776]

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[One Piece]

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[Naruto]

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[Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel]

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

34. [SPOILERS for Shadow Hearts: Covenant]

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35. [SPOILERS for Twisted Metal (2012)]

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36. [SPOILERS for Star Trek 2]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

37. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]

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38. [TRIGGER WARNING for child abuse]

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39. [TRIGGER WARNING for incest]

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40. [TRIGGER WARNING for child abuse]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #270.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - unreadable ], [ 1 - take it to comments, there are plenty of threads ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I've been death-obsessed since I was a child, but now (I'm in my early twenties) I've started to feel like suicide is the most rational and logical option for me. Most of the time I don't even feel that depressed, I just feel like it would be the right thing to do and I've been a coward for far too long. Now I think I've found the method and I feel somewhat relieved. I feel so guilty for still being alive.

How is it cowardly, not dying? To me, cowardly has always meant being too afraid for yourself to help someone else. And the very life of someone isn't something that harms anyone else. I think living is more of a potential help than a harm--it's not cowardly.

Now, I know I'm not exactly the best advice anon. But I'm going to say that suicide isn't something you're rationally and logically required to do.

I feel so guilty for still being alive.

What if it's just that - obsession. And if it's that, you may not truly want it. I'm not saying it's not what you want, but it could be something like psychological illness.
I'm about the same age as you and I've had same kind of thoughts since I was 10. I wanted to kill myself the most when I was 11 and 12; it comes and goes in waves. I'm not even depressed (or, as you said, feel like I'm depressed) but it feels so logical.

But then I remember there's still stuff I wanna do and find out about before I kill myself. I think I will eventually commit suicide, and I won't be depressed about it, but it's gonna be at least a good ten years before I do it. Until it happens, I might as well relax and take it easy.

So that's why I'm a bit confused about your situation. I don't feel guilty for being alive, yet you say you are. Why?

I'm the same way. I think the first time I thought about killing myself was in third grade? I don't know. But it was always on my mind and always an option. Or something I thought I should be doing. Or just the logical end to my story. When I was around 22 I realized I was a live a lot longer than I ever planned to be, and that I better sit down and figure out what I'm doing and make a decision. I couldn't just float through life planning to kill myself and acting as though I wouldn't be around next year. So I sat down and really thought about dying. I got out my pill collection (I had decided on the method years earlier and had a collection all ready) and thought long and hard about what I was choosing to do.

End of story, obviously, I didn't kill myself. I stopped and now I consciously make a decision to live. I still think about death a lot, think about suicide and sometimes really wish I had decided the other way. But I didn't, and I'm sticking to my choice and trying to make my life worth something. And whenever I think about killing myself or death I just stop the thought and remind myself "that's not an option any longer" and try and go on. Most of the time I honestly think it's the right decision, but it's not easy.

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/index.html

[ SECRET POST #1893 ]

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