[ SECRET POST #1895 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1895 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 147 secrets from Secret Submission Post #271.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[flowrs4ophelia.livejournal.com]

Of course it doesn't. If it really needs saying for the millionth time, people who think liking slash is indicative of being so progressive and accepting need to get the fuck over themselves. As long as you're not against slash, who cares.

[(Anonymous)]

It's when people bitch about how slash shouldn't exist because it doesn't make any sense or isn't canon is when I want to kick people between the legs. But not to like it is perfectly fine.

[luxshine.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

"Slash is not my cup of tea, thanks" <--- perfectly fine opinion that is not homophobic.
"I hate slash because they ruin a perfect friendship and it's so gross that you think they're gay" <--- homophobic prick.

[amethyst-rei.livejournal.com]

This, basically.

[insanenoodlyguy.livejournal.com]

Hmm... it's the kind of secret I post my horrible Holmes/Irene smut chapters in, but everybody is having reasonable discussion so far so I'm not sure if I should?

[(Anonymous)]

fuck off already, you're not funny

[insanenoodlyguy.livejournal.com]

And there we go! Thank you anon. This one is extra shitty just for you!

HOLMES AND ADLER CHAPTER 5: FIND THE HIGGS BOSOM.

“MY FRIEND IS DEADDDDDD” WATSON CRIED LIKE A LITTLE PUSSY. WHEN HE FINDS OUT HIS FRIEND IS ALIVE HE’S GONNA FEEL LIKE THE SAD BAG OF BABY TEARS HE IS. BUT HE DOESN’T KNO W THAT. HOLMES DIDN’T TELL HIM. HOLMES DIDN’T TELL HIM BECAUSE THERE WAS FUCKING TO BE DONE, AND IF NOBODY WAS GIVING HIM SHIT ABOUT SOLVING MYSTERIES HE COULD GET MORE FUCKING IN. THAT WAS THE PATH OF THE TRUE HETEROSEXUAL.

SADLY, HOLMES WAS NOT FUCKING RIGHT NOW. HE WAS ARGUING. "GODDAMN IRENE, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BITCHES CAN'T MATH, YOU ESPECIALLY!." HOLMES SAID IT BECAUSE IT WAS TRUE.

"WELL HOLMIE," SAID IRENE "I CAN MEASURE THE SIZE AND IMPACT OF DICKS, AND THERE ARE NO DICKS IN ME RIGHT NOW. SO I CAN'T MATH BUT YOU ARE THE STUPID” AND THAT WAS ALSO PRETTY TRUE, HOW GODDAMN THE STUPID DO YOU HAVE TO BE NOT TO BE TAPPING THE ASS WHEN IT’S UP IN THE CRIB, FUCK’S SAKE. GIRL CAN’T MATH BUT SHE CAN LOGIC AND PHYSICS PRTTY WELL.

“SHIT MY BONER IS WEAKSTICK.” MOANED HOLMES, CAUSE THAT PHYSICS LOGIC JUST FUCKED HIS SHIT.
“HOT DAMN, I ACTUALLY WON AN ARGUMENT!” IRENE WAS QUITE HAPPY. SHE SHOVED HIS HEAD ALL THE WAY UP HER SQUAK, WHICH WAS NOW SO FRICTION FREE IT COULD BE USED AS A HADRON COLLIDER. HOLMES GOT TO LICKING BECAUSE AGAIN, HETEROSEXUAL. THEN SHE USED IT AS A HARD ON COLLIDER. HOLMES PULLED OUT TO SPRAY HIS NADPOLES ALL OVER HER CHEST.

“WHY WERE WE FIGHTING AGAIN?” SAID IRENE.

“WE WERE GONNA SPLIT THE PIZZA IN HALF AND YOU ATE 5 OF THE 8 SLICES AND SAID IT WAS FAIR.”

IRENE SHRUGGED. “I STEAL SECRETS, I STEAL PIZZA. DEAL WITH IT.”

THE RAGEBONER RETURNED. HOLMES SPENT THAT NIGHT STEALING HALF HER CLIENTS BY TURNING THEM HETEROSEXUAL. COUNTERPOINT MOTHERFUCKER!

FIN

[(Anonymous)]

*yawn*

[xxsomeoneelsexx.livejournal.com]

Dgsfgsfchds

That was beautiful

[(Anonymous)]

I think you're funny, and I've been waiting for another chapter. Give it a few more hours--the wank will come.

[insanenoodlyguy.livejournal.com]

Well thank you anon! See above.

Hmmm. You know, I literally write these as diarrhea of the fingers, first thing in my head goes on paper, even if it's bad. Now for some reason I actually want to make chapter 6 good. By a specific and horrible definition, mind.

[(Anonymous)]

The secret isn't bitching that slash shouldn't exist though. The slashhags are jumping the gun because they like to feel persecuted too.

[(Anonymous)]

Except they are...?


I mean ok in LJ no probably not but in the interweb? Yeah.

[(Anonymous)]

But it's not canon, at least not 99.9999% of the time. I don't want to hear about fucking subtext and "it's canon!!!" when it's not. And I see way more slash pairings that don't make sense than I see het pairings that don't.

I don't really care if other people like slash or whatever, because to each their own, but my main fandom is massively plagued with the "it's canon!!!!!!!!!111!" variety of slash fangirls, and it's just not. None of it is. Their little slashgoggles extend only to canon-confirmed straight men, despite the multiple canon gay characters on the show. But I'm a canon shipper, so apparently my opinion doesn't count.

[luxshine.livejournal.com]

Then hang around strict only canon comms that don't allow any other possible reading, slash or het.

What's your fandom? I ask because of the multiple canon gay characters, and the only fandom I can think of with multiple gay characters right now is Glee which.... last I saw was filled to the brim with Kurt/Blaine mostly...

[(Anonymous)]

This, basically. As long as you don't tell me what to like, I'm not going to tell you what to like. Most of the people who would make a fuss about someone simply not liking slash are assholes.