[ SECRET POST #1914 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1914 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]














12. [SPOILERS for ASOIAF/Game of Thrones]



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13. [SPOILERS for Honey and Clover]



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14. [SPOILERS for The Fault in Our Stars]



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15. [SPOILERS for 9 Hours, 9 Persons, 9 Doors]



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16. [SPOILERS for The Hunger Games]



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17. [SPOILERS for The Hunger Games]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]















18. [TRIGGER WARNING for abuse]

[Merlin]


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19. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]



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20. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape, child abuse, and shotacon]



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21. [TRIGGER WARNING for incest]



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22. [TRIGGER WARNING for suicide]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #273.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 1 can't unsee it ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

No offense, but while I understand it being a very uncomfortable scene, saying it "ruined" their relationship is stupid. If you seriously lose all faith in a relationship because of one moment like that, you're not gonna have a whole lot of lasting friendships or relationships irl. Was this wrong? Hell yes. Was this something unforgivable that forever and ever ruined their relationship? Hell no, not unless you're going to hold the standard of human behavior up so high that 90% of humankind rates as a complete monster.

People are always jabbering like there's some huge shining absolute dividing line between yelling at someone and physically striking/grabbing/shaking them, and you somehow magically turn into a complete monster if you cross it, but you know what? There isn't. It has shades of gray. He wasn't intentionally trying to hurt her, or intentionally trying to scare her, just yelling and losing control. It wasn't an implication of abuse or anything like that. It's not like repeatedly hitting someone or indulging in your anger for an extended period of time, which would imply something very nasty about the character. But seriously, I dare anyone to say they've never done anything wrong and hurtful in the heat of the moment. Hell, I doubt many people here can honestly say they've never hit, pushed, or shaken anyone in anger before. People lose control. People fuck up. People do things in the heat of the moment that they wish they could take back. It happens. It's not something black-and-white.

[amethyst-rei.livejournal.com]

(http://media.photobucket.com/image/clap gif/symbolic-everything/GIF/Merlin GIF/UtherCheerGIF.gif?o=2)

[wldcatsprstr-14.livejournal.com]

The late King Uther approves and so do I.

[amethyst-rei.livejournal.com]

Aw, gif died.

*CLAPS* <- pretty much sums it up.

[(Anonymous)]

+1!!

I'm not judging anybody for being turned off by scenes like that but I've seen a lot of people argue that scenes where a guy who's incredibly angry at a person reason "looks scary" or "looks like he wants to hit her" or, worst of all, shakes someone like this and then controls himself reveals that he's actually an abuser.

[(Anonymous)]

And you think they are wrong... because? Anger is not an excuse, but it IS used as an excuse successfully by abusers.

[views.livejournal.com]

+1

[copperiisulfate.livejournal.com]

while the physical aspect and the shaking was uncomfortable, i think i was more upset by him banishing her and making her feel like dirt and then, proceeding to be all hot and cold for the next however many episodes until he watched another chick die and suddenly had ~ALL THE FEELINGS~ for gwen. gwen had basically no agency in any of this and being shunned by a man who is not only her fiance but also her king put her in a really wretched place in every way. i mean at the end of the day i hated the writing more than the actual actions of the character(s) but yeah. just. it was really really unpleasant. sure, people do fuck up and do things they regret later but they should also be willing to deal with the fact that their actions have consequences.

[(Anonymous)]

Hell, I doubt many people here can honestly say they've never hit, pushed, or shaken anyone in anger before.
Yes, I have, and it took for him to "accidentally" break my finger before I got out.

There are shades of grey, but it is these and physical overreactions that may lead to abuse, so yes, I can understand being weirded out and turned off by that pairing. It's one of the main rationalisations my physical abuser used - I was only angry, I didn't intend to hurt you and dehumanise you, I just wanted to yell at you! Because you made me angry!

His intentions don't always matter.

[poppatoffla.livejournal.com]

I agree with you in theory, as far as RL goes. But for the type of show Merlin is, and with kids watching (which they are very keen to use as an excuse in all other circumstances), that was a horrible scene to put in.

[(Anonymous)]

And this kind of thing would be better IRL? WTF is wrong with you?

[poppatoffla.livejournal.com]

You fail at reading comprehension. Check the post I replied to again.

[(Anonymous)]

Because, if kids never see examples of heat-of-the-moment violence, they'll never be violent in the heat of the moment, and all fiction should be based on whether or not kids might watch it?

Personally, as a parent who lets her not-quite-teen kids watch things that maybe straddle the line of age-appropriateness -- I'm glad when shows give us scenes that make it easier to have a dialogue about things like domestic violence, anger management and sexuality. And I really don't think shows need to build their stories around "Well, what if some kids -- who the show isn't aimed at anyway -- DON'T have parents like you!"

[poppatoffla.livejournal.com]

Nope, not what I meant.

Merlin is not a serious show, and it doesn't handle serious matters very responsibly. I don't believe in over protecting kids, quite the opposite. I just find it disturbing that they do something like that while using the "kids are watching - this is a family show" excuse for the silliest of things at other times when it suits them. As much as I love Merlin, it has problems with things like slut shaming, sexism and more, and I don't think in it's current format it's suitable for a scene like the one the secret is about. Other shows have, and I'm sure will, do it a lot better.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't understand this attitude that people, especially men, who can't control themselves in anger should get a pass. If you cannot control yourself around your romantic partner, the person with whom you are supposed to be most vulnerable and the person you can hurt the most in the world, then seriously, gtfo.

I "tolerated" my ex-husband's outbursts. I forgave him for punching a hole in the drywall. I forgave him for shaking me. I forgave him for putting a six inch gash in my leg with a box cutter during an argument (and forgave him for refusing to take me to the hospital, necessitating me having to stitch it my damn self). Because he didn't mean it. He was just angry. These things don't escalate, right? When he put a dent in the steel door of our apartment where my head had been two second prior, I left. Should I have forgiven him that, too? Because he just couldn't control his anger, and everyone has outbursts, right?

People who shake and scream at their partner when they're angry have anger management issues. And unless they're in therapy for it, they don't get a motherfucking pass just because "everyone gets angry." They're starting down the road where anger gets physical, especially when they're angry at their romantic partner, when it's his or her fault, and that road often ends in the hospital or the morgue.

So no, I don't think it's too high of a fucking standard to ask that people control their anger around their partners and not get physical about it. If that makes 90% of the population a monster, then so be it. Rise to my standard. I'm not lowering myself to yours.

[(Anonymous)]

omjc, quit inserting yourself into a fictional show where the circumstances are completely different than yours. so fucking annoying.

[(Anonymous)]

But seriously, I dare anyone to say they've never done anything wrong and hurtful in the heat of the moment. Hell, I doubt many people here can honestly say they've never hit, pushed, or shaken anyone in anger before. People lose control. People fuck up. People do things in the heat of the moment that they wish they could take back. It happens. It's not something black-and-white.

Miss that part, much? Or are personal experiences and baggage only okay when it's on the side of things you like?