[ SECRET POST #1925 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1925 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 070 secrets from Secret Submission Post #275.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat (same text, different image) ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

I don't see a problem with this. Yes, it's a little skeevy to lie about the reason you need money, but it's not as if you faked a life-threatening illness in order to con people into buying you a shiny new toy. Over the internet, no one can tell what you're really doing when you're away from the keyboard, so those who gave money did so because they felt they were helping you - which, they were.

Yes, some people would have probably withheld their money if they knew it was going toward an abortion (and maybe some others would have given/given more), but again - once they offered it up, it became your money to do with as you please.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

That's...still pretty shitty. That's like saying that you can go around telling people you're collecting money for UNICEF and then it's okay to go use that money on cocaine because "once they offered it up, it became your money to do with as you please"

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Well, no. Then it becomes UNICEF's money. The money was given to OP for OP's personal use, not on behalf of any other person or organization.

It's the difference between giving a dollar to a panhandler on a street corner, and sticking a dollar in a fireman's boot on Labor Day. You're pretty certain the fireman is going to see that the dollar goes to the appropriate charity, while the panhandler may buy food, or liquor, or a hat, or...

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

IA

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

what the fuck getting an abortion is nowhere near similar to getting an abortion you complete and utter moron

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

I lolled.

(frozen comment)

[mika-kun.livejournal.com]

What?

(frozen comment)

[kikkyo.livejournal.com]

huh?...

(frozen comment)

[marshwiggledyke.livejournal.com]

I don't exactly agree with OP's actions, but abortion is not like cocaine.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

This is the most ludicrous false equivalency, oh my god

what the heck is wrong with you that you think fixing some fandom person's computer is equivalent to donating to unicef
what the heck is wrong with you that you think needing an abortion is the same as doing cocaine
what about either of those situations is remotely close apart from "a lie occured"??? There is an enormously different level of severity here, wow
WOW

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

I think the point was to take it to an extreme and point out that what you say and what you do can very easily be wildly different since the internet doesn't hold you accountable.

That being said, I don't personally think this is all that shitty. Dishonest, yeah, but if I was pregnant and scared I might just do the same.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

getting an abortion is nowhere near the same as doing drugs

omg how can you be so fucking stupid

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

I would say that telling people you're using their money to buy a computer and then using it to abort a fetus goes beyond "a little skeevy" and runs smack in the middle of "Wow, you're a shitty person."

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Curious, is it the lying or the abortion that makes them a shitty person? What if OP had spent the money on a new outfit instead?

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt

I think that would be even worse. At least the abortion probably helped them in the long run. Straight up spending the money on something just for vanity would have been shittier

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

They go in tandem. The lying is shitty whether it's an abortion or a dress. But I think duping people into paying for an abortion is shittier than duping them into paying for a dress. Because there are a lot of people for whom abortion goes against something they believe to their core, and OP took away their autonomy about whether to support that (and I don't find it unreasonable that there are anti-abortion fandom-ers who keep their beliefs quiet.)

For the record, if OP had been honest with the people she was getting money from, I wouldn't have a problem with the secret at all (other than profound sadness at a life being lost and a system that doesn't do enough to help prevent unwanted pregnancies).

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Same Anon: I realize that if she had been honest, there would be no secret, but you see what I meant, right? I have no problem with OP asking for help to get an abortion. I have a problem with OP doing what she did.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

IA whole-heartedly, anon. I personally could not have justified it to myself and my own moral if I had knowingly supported an abortion. In fact, this secret has made me even less trusting of fandom, which sucks, because I like being able to trust my friends.

(frozen comment)

[kikkyo.livejournal.com]

This exactly. Honestly, I tried to say this exact same thing somewhere else in this thread but you worded it better than I did.

The sad part is that it may not have even been necessary. Much of fandom seems to be very liberal on these types of subjects, so it's possible that this person may not have lost much respect from others if they'd been truthful, and they might have even had more people willing to send donations due to their situation. Or at least, I imagine that there are more people out there than just me who are a little wary of sending donations to the BNF/semi-BNF needing money for 'computer repairs.'

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

The hell it is. The fact that OP was desperate enough to get money that they lied in order to do it is sad, but they're not a shitty person for doing it.

(frozen comment)

[crownedapple.livejournal.com]

I agree. It was rather shady, but... it could have been a lot worse. Hey, if people donated money because they wanted you to continue contributing to the fandom, a busted computer is much less of a time drain than a baby/pregnancy. Just to keep that in mind.

(frozen comment)

[megalomaniageek.livejournal.com]

once they offered it up, it became your money to do with as you please

Legally, yes, but I don't think so socially. The circumstances behind the deceit are socially defensible, yes, but I can't go along with the argument that if you explicitly raise money via donations for a thing then it's perfectly okay to use it for something else.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Nope, not legally. It was fraud. OP had no intention to by the computer part in the first place.

(frozen comment)

[megalomaniageek.livejournal.com]

I stand corrected. I was under the impression that in an informal giving situation like this the money would be for whatever OP chose to use it for, but yeah, expressing an explicit intention for the donation and then doing something else sounds an awful lot like fraud.

I still think what the OP did was not so horrendous, but that argument about "well besides who cares once the money is in their possession it's theirs to do as they like" just seems hollow.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

It doesn't say the OP actively solicited money, simply that she told people she needed money and they offered it to her. It's the difference between me saying "I wish I had a sandwich" and you offer me the money for one and me saying 'Give me the money for a sandwich"