[ SECRET POST #1930 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1930 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 110 secrets from Secret Submission Post #276.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

06. http://oi42.tinypic.com/ne97bd.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

sounds like you might like weepingcock, anon

[szaleniec1000.livejournal.com]

Heh, this. :D

[castorochiaro.livejournal.com]

I've only been there for a minute and I already love this.

[(Anonymous)]

YANA

[writerserenyty.livejournal.com]

....I feel like I kind of know what you mean....

[(Anonymous)]

Guess you don't get off on good grammar, then. ;)

[childings.livejournal.com]

What font is this?

[(Anonymous)]

op here, awkwardly popping up to tell you that it's springtime (http://www.dafont.com/springtime.font).

[(Anonymous)]

Well, what do you mean by poorly written porn? Purple prose? Non-explicit? Bad grammar? Cheesy dialogue? Inquiring minds want to know, OP, because I just can't conceive of someone going "this is so TERRIBLE! UNF UNF." Just because other people say it's bad doesn't mean it is--the hotness of porn is highly subjective.

[(Anonymous)]

No bad porn, you say.

'"Please, mister," she gasped, "don't do this!" But it was too late. Her surprised scream filled the air as he spread her downstairs carpet forcefully with his hands, before making her sit on his warm cucumber. He then started pumping her, making her squeal in a strange mixture of pain and pleasure. Just as she thought the terrible ordeal was over and done with, the man grinned in a cruel manner. Before she could say anything, his supernaturally strong arms lifted her butt and thighs.
He then spun her around, so that her back was touching his hairy chest, and started fingering her clit. And rub it he did, like a mad DJ does a record. Up and down she went on his magnificent pole, squish squish, with the slippery and wet sounds increasing with the slowly quickening rhythm.
At this point the hot babe with the perky, round DDD-cup breasts didn't even know if her own cries were that of delight or shame. She must have lost her mind at some point, for soon she heard her own words leave her mouth; faster! Harder!
"Oh yes!" Squish. "Ohhh!" Slurp.

For the record, I don't normally do f/m porn. I haven't the faintest idea why. But like, if a "bad" fic isn't cheesy, it's usually full of grammatical mistakes and really rushed writing. I agree the hotness of porn is highly subjective, since that's the whole idea behind 'your kink is not my kink', but I really think it comes down to how it's executed. So, yeah, IMO poorly written porn exists. It's more about the writing than the porn itself.

[drunken-clowns.livejournal.com]

Maybe that it's more obvious the author is getting off on it when the porn is bad. If it's really well-written, it's usually believable as just a thing that happens with the characters? But if they really like the idea that a real person got turned on by this idea, especially if it's that a real person got turned on by the same thing they like too, with bad porn it's often a lot easier to tell :3 Sometimes the visual aspects are described more too with bad porn, and different people have different preferences re: the idea of watching the characters fuck vs. the idea of it happening and the experience they're having as they fuck.

I get a huge embarrassment squick from incompetent writing, so bad porn is definitely not my thing. But sometimes I like kink meme prompts for reasons like this.

[theprincesslime.livejournal.com]

"this is so TERRIBLE! UNF UNF."

I laughed greatly, thanks. :'D

[cherrycoloured.livejournal.com]

I sort of know what you mean. Like, if it's technically written well, with good grammar and such, but just cheesy dialogue and kind of OoC, it can sometimes be kind of hot. Sometimes that sort of stuff is needed xD

[haleysings.livejournal.com]

What, really? Why?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm so glad I'm not alone.....

[(Anonymous)]

cf. the erotic mind-control story archive.

[(Anonymous)]

link plz

[(Anonymous)]

In a weird way, I'm kind of the same. It's sort of like watching a porn video. You're not looking for plot or great dialogue and characterization. Sometimes, you just need dirty words and images to get you going.

[(Anonymous)]

Right there with you, OP. There was this total fuck-show of a story about the male half of Team Rocket (no, I don't know his name. It was porn.) being raped by a Charizard, complete with giant knotting penis and humiliating discovery by Ash, and hooooly fuck, that story got me off. Repeatedly. Even though it was an incredibly explicit piece of crap, the fact that the author said "fuck logistics, consent, and the physical capacities of the human body!" turned me on way, way harder than it should have.

...I'm going to go find it again, actually. Thanks for the reminder!

[(Anonymous)]

If it makes you feel better, OP, I'm the same way. There's just something about incredibly cheesy, OOC writing that seems to turn off my judgement centers and let me just wank in a way I can't when something is well written and makes me think.

[(Anonymous)]

I kind of do too. In my fandom, there is most definitely a formula that all the most popular porn writers use, which involves the same recycled phrases. The only thing that ever varies in porn scenes is the characters and the setting. If anything, I appreciate less skilled writers' porn more because it has a little bit of variety and excitement.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Recently I've been forgoing all my downloads of well-crafted, character-based, thoughtful NC-17 short stories for browses through alt.sex.stories archives instead. Some days you just want ludicrous wank fodder, yanno?

[(Anonymous)]

I kind of agree... Put Part A in Part B is always the mark of bad porn, but I like reading about the physical aspect of it.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel the same way. My favorite porn writer in my fandom is, by all objective measures, a really terrible writer. I think what appeals to me is a. the specific kinks and b. the utter shamelessness. Good writers have plot and characterization because that's generally seen as necessary for story to be good - but for porn, it's all a distraction. What I really want not great storytelling, it's several thousand words of kinky shit that turns me on. (Although I do wish my favorite porn writer would at least learn how to use apostrophes, goddamn it.)

Don't get me wrong, I love a well-written story, but even if it's NC-17, it's not what I'm looking for in porn.