[ SECRET POST #1930 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1930 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 110 secrets from Secret Submission Post #276.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[weasleykid8.livejournal.com]

OP, I totally understand what you're going through because I'm having similar issues and doubts right now. I have some anxiety issues, and I think I may finally be ready to admit that I'm probably asexual. And so, I'm a whackjob who doesn't like intimacy--and I'm convinced this is the nail in my coffin when it comes to ever finding someone. I understand your desire to feel like SOMEONE has your back unconditionally; I don't really feel I can trust my friends (and certainly not my judgemental parents) with my feelings, and I envy those in my life who have a bf or husband's shoulder to cry on. I don't feel for a minute that I WON'T survive without another person, but it would be nice to have someone--anyone--else on this planet who maybe cares about me just enough to help me through my harder issues. I get your desire, and I feel that same pain of impending failure--no one is going to put up with my crazy in the long-term and no one is going to bother to love me long-term if I don't feel like being intimate with them. Feeling like you're doomed to loneliness hurts, and it makes the realization that you might have to always fight alone very, very hard.

That said, I reached a very dark bottom a few weeks back, and decided that I'd at least seek counseling, because even if no one else could really be happy with me in the long run, at least I can learn to live with myself. I start my first official session this coming week, and reaching out for professional help has made me feel better about myself than I have in weeks.

So I, too, will never find a Finnick, even though I'm desperately lonely for one (though I'd settle for a Prim/Buttercup brand of loyalty from a good friend!), but perhaps I can learn to manage the feelings I get and learn to accept things the way they are. I wish the best for you, OP. Please, at least try and get some help to work through some of your issues; I'm no Finnick, but I feel where you're coming from, and I want you to fight, and the odds to be in your favor.

Good luck and best wishes, OP.