[ SECRET POST #1967 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1967 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 051 secrets from Secret Submission Post #281.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

We all make sacrifices in relationships, all of us. Or we are single forever. This doesn't seem like that much of a sacrifice, and as mentioned before, it isn't harmful so I don't see the problem. The secret very much made it sound like it was the fact that the woman doesn't LOOK like the character, which isn't always the idea of role play.

[(Anonymous)]

fuck that shit, i have boundaries and there are a shitload of things that fall outside of my comfort zone. i don't have to do anything. i don't care what my SO wants - if i don't want it, it's not fucking happening. back off.

[(Anonymous)]

And then your SO might choose to break up with you in favour of someone more accommodating. That's how it works. You have to balance your comfort zone against your partner's.

[(Anonymous)]

You're moving the goalposts. No one said the partner isn't totally within their rights to do that, only that no one has to do anything they don't want to do to keep a partner who's really into being fucked while pretending to be an anime guy. You're still telling people what they have to do under the assumption that surely they must actually want to be with someone who would leave them because they don't want to do anime roleplaying in bed.

[(Anonymous)]

then ok, he can break up with me. that's a price i'm willing to pay if my comfort is at stake. he's not going to pressure me into ANYTHING and you're fucking gross for implying it's his right to.

i'm going to balance my comfort zone WITH my partner's not against. i've found somebody who respects me and my squicks. anybody less isn't meant to be my SO, i'm not gonna stick around in a relationship like that.

[otakugal15.livejournal.com]

A-fucking-men.

[(Anonymous)]

You might not have a problem with it - but someone else might very well be uncomfortable enough that they aren't okay with doing that. In that scenario it's *okay* for them to say 'no'. It doesn't make their SO wrong for asking them to try it out...but if said SO doesn't accept that they aren't willing to do that, and keeps pressuring them for it? *That* is wrong, and that *does* cross boundaries...which, yes. I would consider hurting someone.

Think of it this way, say A didn't feel up for having sex, but their partner [B] asked if they'd want to have a round of it. When A says 'no', they aren't being selfish - just honest that they really aren't feeling up to sex. If B accepts that, then there's nothing wrong. However, if B starts pressuring A to have sex - not enough to qualify it as rape, or assult, but enough that A just breaks down and gives in because they know they'll be badgered about it otherwise? That's wrong.

In that set up, just like the one OP mentioned, it's not about 'sacrifices'...it's about being put into an uncomfortable situation that you may not be okay with. OP could be the most generous, or the most selfish, of partners...We don't know that. But either way, if the OPs not comfortable doing it, then there's nothing wrong with the OP saying 'no' to it.

[(Anonymous)]

da

You left out the part where A goes on to make a fandomsecret about how ridiculous B's private intimate request is.

[(Anonymous)]

We all have sexual bounderies or things we in general don't feel comfortable doing. If my lover asked me to roleplay something that makes me uncomfortable or I can't work up any enthusiasm for, it is my right to tell them I don't want to go along with it.

Roleplay may not be an "extreme" kink, but I have as much right to say no to it as scat play or public sex.