[ SECRET POST #1967 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1967 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 051 secrets from Secret Submission Post #281.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[kallanda-lee.livejournal.com]

I'm not single and I sort of agree. I'm willing to try a lot of stuff, but if I just can't link it to anything "sexy" in my head, I'm unlikely to do it. Because I'd rather not have sex than have unenthusiastic sex.

[insanenoodlyguy.livejournal.com]

I think the difference here is what your neutral towards and what actually puts you off. And of course, the recognition that it's give and take.

[kallanda-lee.livejournal.com]

I do differentiate between the two - but fact is that even with things I'm indifferent towards - well, indifference is sort of not awesome in regards to sex. By definition, you're not going to be into it and that just really sucks.Unless you're the kind who just gets mentally off on the act of pleasing someone - which is a feature I didn't come equipped with.
Some things you can sort of mentally work to your advantage, some things you don't.

But then I have the (mis)fortune of being kinkier than my SO, so I'm rarely in that situation anyway.

[(Anonymous)]

...yeah i personally wouldn't want to be in a sexual situation where i was the only one into what was going on.

[drunken-clowns.livejournal.com]

Does enthusiastic have to mean horny? Because I think some of the things my partner's into would be really fun, even if they wouldn't do much for my junk.

I'm not judging you if you have a different opinion about this! I've just seen "enthusiastic" associated with "horny" when talking about sex, and I'm kind of curious what's up with that? But I do not think your preferences are un-okay.

[kallanda-lee.livejournal.com]

No, it doesn't. I can enjoy some sexual stuff on a non-sexual level. I could consider some things as "fun" even though they don't turn me on. But there's some things that just really do nothing for me.

To give an example - Let's something like Japanese rope bondage. I don't find it a sexual turn on specifically, but I could totally have fun with teasing/tying someone up. I could even take joy in learning to do visually pleasing knots. I also enjoy being dominant in bed, so I could work with that.

But let's say something like dressing up as a nurse in a latex outfit...it's not like I oppose doing it on a moral level or anything - but I don't like how latex feels and I'd feel awkward and self-conscious wearing it, so I just wouldn't be having so much fun myself. Make sense? I'd be willing to try once - but if that was something the guy was really into, I don't really see myself doing it on a regular basis.

[drunken-clowns.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that totally makes sense. Thank you, that clears up the "enthusiastic" bit a lot.

[kallanda-lee.livejournal.com]

I think different people can mean different things with it - but to me it's not synonymous with "horny".

In fact, to me it works the other way around too. I could be horny but not enthusiastic about a certain sexual act either. Like, it could arouse my physically but I wouldn't feel happy participating in in per se.