fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1978 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1978 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Friending Meme if people want to add each other on DW!

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ugh, I can't even drama in anon. I can't even commit to my actual opinion. There have been hundreds of comments I never posted. And when I manage to actually post it I usually can't even look back to see what people replied to my anonymous comment because the longer I think about what I said the more I agonize and I'd just rather not see it. I'm practically a social butterfly in real life but I get actual shakes when I think about committing to a username and making internet friends. Maybe because people analyze what you say more and nothing really goes away? You can't really make off the cuff comments and if you say/do something wrong/weird the embarrassment is more permanent?

Why do I care so much about what people I don't know think about some random anonymous comment that they could never connect back to me?

Wow, I can't believe I posted this in the wrong thread. Sorry. I am mortified.

DA

It was unexpectedly relevant anyway.

Oddly enough, it totally fits in here.

omg anon, I have the exact same problem. I know extremely shy people IRL who have social lives on forums, but I'm the exact opposite. I have been actually using anon comments on FS to try and overcome my phobia.

Thanks for posting this, it's kind of an invisible problem heh

Well at least I'm not the only person like this? Don't know if that makes me feel better or just sad?

I am betting there are lots of us, we're called lurkers.

That said I'm not too sad about it, so we're different there. I wish I knew more people IRL who I could geek out with, but establishing an online identity seems kind of socially exhausting and unnecessary.

Try making an account that nobody knows is you and posting around f!s? You can build a name and identity that way. If it works out, you can keep going or you can tell people that it's you. If it gets bad, you can abandon the name and nobody will ever connect it to you.

The thought of investing my time and energy into something and having people reject me is just so way worse than never connecting at all.

Maybe it's just because I'm a big fish in a little pond where I live and everyone thinks I'm awesome because they don't know any better. I feel like I have everyone 'fooled' into thinking I'm smart and funny and people on the internet are who I actually want to be like and they'll see right through me or something.

And it's not like I ever even would want to put my real name on it. I am just that overly emotionally involved with the idea of any internet persona I would make for myself. I can't even stand the thought of trolling, it literally gives me goosebumps of embarrassment.

(ayrt)

If you're that afraid of being a little fish in a big pond, what do you plan to do if you ever move away from where you live and nobody knows you? It's not bad being a little fish. It's like going from being popular in a tiny town to being anonymous in a big city p. much. There are perks to both. Nobody knows your name but lots of people are more willing to overlook your minor flaws because you aren't some big name or popular.

I don't actually enjoy being 'popular'. It's just the expectation of it stifled me so much growing up that I feel incapable of actually being who I am and having someone, anyone, think I'm mean/dumb. I'm actually planning on moving to a bigger city just for the anonymity. I'm just worried I won't make any new human contact whatsoever. It's a little appealing but it also really scares me.

Ehhh, it's different RL and OL. If somebody you know IRL thinks you're dumb, they can do some p. bad shit to your rep but if someone on the other side of the world who doesn't know your name or who you are thinks you're dumb based off an internet comment they can't do jack shit about it. I used to be v. v. shy IRL but the internet helped me get over it by helping me get used to the fact that no matter what anybody did, some dumb people were going to criticize them for it and sometimes certain people's opinions aren't worth caring about.

I'm actually the opposite. I'm pretty okay with IRL interactions and okay with people not liking me IRL, but online I get all sorts of shy and nervous and insecure. I get so upset and self concious if people argue with me online, but am much more okay IRL arguments. :/

Uh, above comment isn't the original anonymous.

I like that there are so many of us DA has lost all useful meaning.

um, I think it's because online feels way more public and permanent that just arguing a point with a friend, and I am obsessed with being right. But I have decided to start an account for F!S commenting and get used to people calling me on my bullshit.

It is more permanent but if people bring up shit that happened like five years ago people are going to laugh at them for being such a petty grudgewanker more than they are at you, lol.

Why is that or why do you think that is?

Virgin-to-this-thread anon

For me it has a lot to do with not being able to read the other person's body language/tone of voice. I do edit myself continually based on other people's responses. Test the waters to see how to get my point across the best way possible.

DA from above

I think I might take this advice

Also I think you're missing part of the point, which is that we (me and anon) don't have any kind of existing internet friends/presence. It freaks us out. I mean, connecting it to our RL identity is a whole other thing if that's what you mean, but I don't think you do.

(ayrt)

I did mean your RL identity. You don't have anything to lose besides your time and effort and you might get valuable experience along the way in exchange for it, who knows.

yeah, you're right. I shouldn't be so afraid of being wrong, it's kind of bullshit. Thanks anon!

not original anonymous but i think they were more concerned about the emotional impact of rejection more than the time or effort. Which can also be pretty huge investment for some people.

Was the irony in this comment intentional?

[ SECRET POST #1978 ]

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don't freak out!

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DA

Re: DA

first DA?

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