[ SECRET POST #1981 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1981 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 68 secrets from Secret Submission Post #283.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

OP here

It always has seemed like the media/any external stuff I've seen has indicated that bisexuals like guys and girls equally. Like, you're only bi if you're right in the middle of the Kinsey scale.

And I never talked to anyone about it because...well, see the secret.

[(Anonymous)]

Hey, you're not only bi if you're a three on the Kinsey scale. I'm a five and I identify as pansexual so...you use the label that you're comfortable with. You define it for yourself. It's about you being yourself and being comfortable with yourself.

[broadwaybabe11.livejournal.com]

This. Labels are just labels. I think our sexuality is more complicated than a label, at least for most of us, and we choose whatever label we feel most comfortable with.

[wintergrey]

Dear OP, here is a "quiz" from the fabulous Scarleteen that breaks it down really well. http://www.scarleteen.com/article/gaydar/bi_the_dozen_a_bisexuality_quiz In there is a link to this very salient article: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/im_bisexual_so_why_dont_i_feel_exactly_the_same_about_men_and_women

Bisexual means that there are ways and reasons that you might be attracted to a person of either sex or gender on the standard male/female binary—either a specific person or people in general. That's all. If you feel like you're bisexual, you're bisexual. Sexuality identification like the Kinsey scale is not an absolute, it's only a prediction of future possibilities based on past experience and past and present fantasy. Sexuality is fluid and it's more than binary.

If people give you crap around being bisexual when you're acting in good faith then they're biphobic and they suck. They don't know better than you. You know best. Good luck. <3

[(Anonymous)]

Ugh, I can't visit scarletteen. I've heard wonderful things about it, but it's on a list of domains that's blocked on my parent's network, and the proxy I use to get around it is spotty at best. It sucks, but they feel like their adult children still need supervision, apparently.

[wintergrey]

I reposted both articles in my journal, I know Heather won't mind. Feel free to read if you'd like.

That really does suck. If you need anything else you can PM me or email evithwintergrey at gmail. I'm a parent of an 18yo, myself, and that thinking is baffling to me, even though I grew up with parents like that.

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, thank you so much! You're too kind. :) They were both really interesting, and I have to admit, reading the quiz just really...idk, made me happy/filled me with hope, to put it in the uber-cheesy way.

I don't get it either. Especially since my parents did this all one before with my (much) older siblings, and their lives were pretty monumentally effected(read: screwed up) by their lack of experience in relationships of any kind. Hell, we all lack traditional social skills thanks having been homeschooled(being homeschooled was good; not being allowed to participate in homeschooling social events and such not so much) Only now that I'm in college and in fandom have I discovered a lot of stuff and started to try to identify who I am and how I feel about myself and others. I'm still underage(17; yay for early graduation!), so they can control what I consume and what I do(I'm not allowed to date, even...), but it's...frustrating. I know why they do it, but you'd think that noticing the bad choices my siblings have made would make them alter their perceptions.
Sorry, I'm just spilling my life story, now. To be frank, it's nice to have someone to talk to who isn't gonna judge me from how they already know me.

[wintergrey]

Glad you liked the articles. :) You sound like a smart person with their head on straight—I'm glad you have fandom to help you with that socialization. Being restricted the way you are has to be maddening, but I wish they'd had the internet when I was your age! Even though I'd known since I was little that I wasn't straight, I tried to do everything "right" according to the Church and ended up married + kid before I had a chance to do much else. If nothing else I try and make some safe space around me for other people to work out who they are, since I had such a hard time with it myself.

You're welcome to talk to me/at me as much as you like. *g* You can come back to these comments any time or get in touch some other way. Fandom can be pretty awesome—it looks like there are a lot of people here who support you.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, if I didn't have the internet, I think I'd go mad. I've been online since I was ten(FF.net!), so I've kinda grown up alongside it, and it's a large part of why I'm (relatively) well adjusted. Thankfully my parents' controls only extend to the internet peripherally(the blocking I mentioned, and that's a recent thing).

Again, thank you so much. I've got a lot to mull over, and I'm actually drafting a post for some of my close friends that I trust to talk it with them. In the end, I know it comes down to me and my choices, but I want to put out some feelers and see how things are with them.

[(Anonymous)]

Also, I installed Tor, and now I can read all the Scarleteen I want! There are some truly awesome articles on that site.

[0jack]

Tor is fantastic. \o/ I'm so glad you figured something out.

[wintergrey]

And, once again, I log in under the wrong account. *g*