fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1987 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1987 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 096 secrets from Secret Submission Post #284.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Only if you also include the description of Sam's.

"Fat pink mast" right? I think I had to put down the book for a while cos of laughing. I feel bad.

I AM TOO IMMATURE TO RESIST, SO.

Tyrion's penis (according to Sansa): "Even his manhood was ugly, thick and veined, with a bulbous purple head"

Sam's penis (...according to himself): "And suddenly his cock was out, jutting upward from his breeches like a fat pink mast."

GRRM is truly a modern master of prose.

Edited 2012-06-11 23:38 (UTC)

What the actual fuck

Well, those are about the most awkward terms ever.

Welp. Thanks for removing the last vestige of interest I had in these books.

My thoughts exactly, ha.

Oh, indeed he is.

And let's not forget the 'Myrish swamp' for the ladiez...

I gagged at 'swamp' alone and then realized I didn't know what Myrish meant. The only def. I found was "Myrish fire is a medical ointment, that originated in the free city of Myr. It is often used to clean a wound and burns on contact." on a Game of Thrones Wiki

I'm not sure I want to know but... WTH does that mean?

A reference to the power of the Healing Vagina, maybe?

Wet, slimy vagina?

I got that from swamp alone so I'm wondering why Myrish was applied?

spoilers for the fourth book (just to be safe)

----

Her nipples were two black diamonds, her sex slick and steamy. Robert would have loved you, for an hour.

The queen slid a finger into that Myrish swamp, then another, moving them in and out, but once he spent himself inside you, he would have been hard-pressed to recall your name.

She wanted to see if it would be as easy with a woman as it had always been with Robert.

Ten thousand of your children perished in my palm, Your Grace, she thought, slipping a third finger into Myr.

Whilst you snored, I would lick your sons off my face and fingers one by one, all those pale sticky princes.

You claimed your rights, my lord, but in the darkness I would eat your heirs.

Taena gave a shudder. She gasped some words in a foreign tongue, then shuddered again and arched her back and screamed.

(no subject)

natural_blue_26.livejournal.com - 2012-06-12 02:50 (UTC) - Expand

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fauxkaren - 2012-06-12 08:04 (UTC) - Expand

IDK why everyone's confused by that -- Myr is a city in the series and the character is from Myr.

Ew.

Thick is good. I'm fine with thick. XD And, yeah, they all seem to have veins? From what I've seen? Because, hello, blood flow? XD

Jesus that's hilarious. XD

Just when I thought my sex drive couldn't get any more dead there it goes.

Aren't a lot of manhoods thick and veined? Or have I just been looking at the wrong ones?

Well, yes that's true they are but I'm pretty sure I can pick up any old skeevy romance novel if I wanted to have that kind of entertainment. Maybe I'm just picky with my fantasy books but yeah, that sort of writing is kinda lame imo.

Oh, I agree that the writing is awful...I'm just saying that the writing, however awful, doesn't suggest there's actually anything wrong with his penis.

maiira - 2012-06-12 02:49 (UTC) - Expand

kallanda_lee - 2012-06-12 10:40 (UTC) - Expand

You are looking at the right ones

Yeah, but since show!Tyrion is a fair bit more attractive than book!Tyrion, does that mean his penis is proportionally cuter? :|a

ahaha

I'm so glad I didn't bother trying to finish reading the first book. Seriously? lol

I believe it also mentions being the only 'uncrooked' part of him, so it's reasonable to assume it's of adequate size to appear straight, as opposed to 'not large enough to be gnarled'.

If they're talking about show!Tyrion...I wonder if this will even be a thing? The scene might be completely changed or removed and thus be a bit irrelevant.