fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1989 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1989 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 048 secrets from Secret Submission Post #284.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm so sorry people are treating you like that.

Maybe homophobia (though not straight people in general) is the real problem, but bi-shaming is based in homophobia (and bi woman shaming is based in sexism, too)- "if someone's in the position to choose, of course they'd choose the opposite sex" is nothing but devaluing same-sex relationships. Same with devaluing women, for the assumption that a bi woman can never seriously love a woman. I don't think lesbians in general are awful or anything, but some do internalize homophobia and sexism in those ways, and you absolutely have the right to call them out on it.

Maybe queer people being awful to each other isn't the most important issue in the world, but if we could only talk about the most important issue in the world ever, we'd all have to sit around complaining about the environment or something like that. Queer people, including queer women, can do awful things to each other, and that should not be covered up.

If it makes you feel any better, queer policing happens to a lot of people. I'm like a Kinsey 5 (I get attracted to a lot of people, but I don't have enough interest in men to actually sustain a relationship, so I only date women and I round up to gay or lesbian in casual communication) and I don't ever feel comfortable talking to other lesbian identified people about that.

Also, your kink is not reprehensible. What the fuck. It's fictional. It's okay for other people to be squicked or triggered by something like that, but it's also okay for you to have a different response as long as you warn if you're writing stories about that or whatever.

while obviously both are subdivisions of the united patriarchy campaign, I don't think it helps us resist biphobia if we simply subsume it into homophobia, especially given how much biphobia we get from gays and lesbians and from people who legitimately do value same-sex relationships.

nyart

I wholeheartedly agree. I identify as lesbian, but it makes me so incredibly sad and angry to see the amount of vitriol against bisexuals that comes from the gay community itself. Lumping in biphobia with homophobia isn't doing anyone any favors.

ayrt

I'm guessing the people OP is having problems with do not believe in biphobia as a thing. I do, and I think biphobia should be addressed separately too, but I also think that if someone doesn't understand why biphobia exists, explaining it in terms of homophobia and sexism is more likely to get through to that person... like the people that have been bothering OP.

I did not mean it was the same thing all the time, and I apologize if that's how it came off.

[ SECRET POST #1989 ]

Re: this is kinda OT but I don't have anywhere else to vent...

Re: this is kinda OT but I don't have anywhere else to vent...

Re: this is kinda OT but I don't have anywhere else to vent...

Re: this is kinda OT but I don't have anywhere else to vent...