case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2012-06-18 06:45 pm

[ SECRET POST #1994 ]


⌈ Secret Post #1994 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 092 secrets from Secret Submission Post #285.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - empty comments ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2012-06-18 11:18 pm (UTC)(link)
I am the opposite.
I get ridiculously anxious and shy in online reactions, but I'm pretty chill and outgoing, IRL.

Edit

(Anonymous) 2012-06-18 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
How does my brain get "reactions" out of "conversations"?
I meant to say "online conversations."
Stupid words.

Re: Edit

[personal profile] anonymouslyyours 2012-06-19 12:18 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe a freudian slip in that you mean you get anxious about other people's reactions online?

(Anonymous) 2012-06-19 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
omg me too! i thought i was the only one like this. i am so uncomfortable communicating online but i'm fine irl. i hate also that my words are immortalized in places like this.

(Anonymous) 2012-06-21 07:06 am (UTC)(link)
This, the immortalizing part.

I used to be active and outgoing online on fandom and art communities, but after I turned 15 or so I realized anything I put out there would be immortalized on the internet, so I considerably changed my style of speech and censored what I wrote-- using less emoticons, typing in more complete sentences, not posting any negative or opinionated thoughts online, etc. And years later, I really am glad I had a head start on maintaining a more professional distance, because now my bosses watch the same Deviantart account I've had since I was 14. But at the same time, I've conditioned myself over the past few years to be unable to really be free to express myself on the one place you'd think you'd be free to say anything you want; technically the Internet is where you can be whatever you want to be, but I feel like I can never hide.

These days I am so terrified of my coworkers and people I know to find my personal accounts, to find out I'm a fangirl and judge me for it (why is it okay for guys to draw sexy women on women action, but I'd feel so self conscious about drawing two guys naively holding hands?)-- so I end up barely posting at all, even under my anonymous aliases... It's rather hard to hide when it seems like all you have to do is post one drawing on Tumblr and then next thing you know, a familiar face finds your anonymous account and follows you...

(Anonymous) 2012-06-21 06:06 pm (UTC)(link)
It's rather hard to hide when it seems like all you have to do is post one drawing on Tumblr and then next thing you know, a familiar face finds your anonymous account and follows you...

I'm getting creeped out here, imagining rl friends stalking me online...

(Anonymous) 2012-06-22 03:44 am (UTC)(link)
Wait, does that happen even if you make fake email accounts? Do they track your IP to find your anonymous accounts? wtf I'd be paranoid too D:

And now I'm glad I deleted my dA account. wow just wow

(Anonymous) 2012-06-19 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
Me too.
rivia: (Metal Heart)

[personal profile] rivia 2012-06-18 11:26 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm cripplingly shy IRL and I'm almost the same online. :[ And there is at least one person who I'd love to meet IRL but I'm so terrified of how it would be I don't know if I could handle it.
elaminator: (Legend of the Seeker: Kahlan)

[personal profile] elaminator 2012-06-18 11:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Hey man, it happens. Not everyone is great at interacting in person or reading people and there are tons of issues that factor into that.

I'm anxious, especially in social situations, so expecting me to say more than a sentence or two here or there to a stranger IRL is not going to happen without a good deal of awkwardness. *shrugs*

You don't have to look people in the eye online, or worry about if others are judging your appearance (Well, going by some of the secrets we've had recently...people will judge you regardless, but whatever; unless you're on web cam, they aren't staring at you in real time). It's easier for plenty of people, I think.

And on the other side of that equation, some people have an easier time talking to folks IRL. Everyone's different and that's okay.

I bet there are plenty of other things about yourself that are positive. When you start feeling disappointed or depressed about your shyness, you should try to focus on those things instead.
partialsatyr: (Default)

[personal profile] partialsatyr 2012-06-18 11:46 pm (UTC)(link)
man, i can relate so much. i was actually thinking about this just today

(Anonymous) 2012-06-18 11:47 pm (UTC)(link)
I am the same way, anon. Thus far, it's been okay. My non-fandom friends know I'm the shy type, so they don't force me into confrontational situations where I have to be especially social. I start teaching soon, though, and while I really like my subject, I'm afraid I'll flop in the classroom and not be able to interact with so many kids. But I won't know till I put myself out there, I guess.

You don't have to change who you are if you don't want to. You're as awesome as your fandom friends know you are. Just believe in yourself. :)

(Anonymous) 2012-06-18 11:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Maybe fandom is just where you find people you 'click' with, OP. And the whole typing thing might be easier than talking. You're more comfortable in fandom, and that's okay.

I'm so happy and jealous that you're having fandom fun, though. I can get along with people well enough irl (although I try to avoid talking to new people) but I'm too shy to make fandom friends online.
majorshipper: (Default)

[personal profile] majorshipper 2012-06-19 12:22 am (UTC)(link)
Isn't there a word for this? Ugh, I feel like I've heard it before and it will not leave me alone.

Anyways. I used to be exactly like this, but over the past few years I've started to move from extrovert online/introvert in person to just a general extrovert IRL and online. No idea why or when it happened.
I'm still a loner and I prefer to be alone IRL, but I do have some friends these days. Who knows, maybe one day you'll figure youself out, op. :)
countess_k: (Default)

[personal profile] countess_k 2012-06-19 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
It could be because RL interactions involve a lot more than just conversations. When you meet people face to face you are communicating in many ways: facial expressions, body language, tone of voice. Maybe it is one if these you are having issues with. Could it be you have confidence issues with the way you look or sound? If that's the case then working on those might help. Being outgoing online proves you have it in you and there's just something holding you back so identifying the obstacles can be the first step in removing them.
badducks: (Default)

[personal profile] badducks 2012-06-19 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
You're both. It's just really all about comfort levels. Some people are more comfortable talking online because it feels like there's less pressure and if you're typing you have extra time to think about what to say. Some people find that uncomfortable and prefer to see people's reactions instantly. It doesn't mean one is the real you because they both are in different situations.

(Anonymous) 2012-06-19 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
"Outgoing online" is such an oxymoron, ahah.

But I know what you mean. I used to be like that. Shy IRL, very forward and chatty online. Somewhere along the line it switched a bit. Now I don't get so involved online, but I go out a ton and I've get antsy if I'm online too much. Actually, meeting my internet friends helped a lot. I see them regularly now and considering them IRL friends (though I still refer to them as my internet friends to differentiate).
velvet_mace: (Default)

[personal profile] velvet_mace 2012-06-19 08:46 am (UTC)(link)
Small steps, anon. Try meeting up with one person, IRL. Let yourself become used to that. And move on from there. Eventually you may be able to tollerate a Con, and that will be both an achievement and something you can cherish as a memory.

(Anonymous) 2012-06-19 04:40 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm the same way, anon. I'm not afraid of talking to people at all online. But in RL I'm incredibly shy, and TERRIFIED of people. I have no friends and I never go out anywhere. :(