[ SECRET POST #1994 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1994 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.


__________________________________________________



11.


__________________________________________________



12.


__________________________________________________



13.


__________________________________________________



14.


__________________________________________________



15.


__________________________________________________



16.


__________________________________________________



17.


__________________________________________________



18.


__________________________________________________



19.


__________________________________________________



20.


__________________________________________________



21.


__________________________________________________



22.


__________________________________________________






Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 092 secrets from Secret Submission Post #285.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - empty comments ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[lunabee34]

*hugs*

I'm sorry, OP.

I know how hard it is not to want to disappoint your parents and feel like you have to hide who you are.

My parents are ultra-conservative evangelicals. We disagree on pretty much every religious, political and social issue. They think I am a bad person and that I am going to hell. My successful career and my awesome husband and daughter and the great life I've made for myself don't matter to them. And I'm not even completely honest with them about the degree to which I don't believe what they believe because the browbeating at family gatherings isn't worth it. I turn 33 tomorrow and a part of me still can't get over the fact that my parents aren't proud of me and think I suck. I don't know if there's an age where you get over a thing like that. I wish I could let it just roll off me, but I can't.

I hope you can find a way to make peace with who you are without needing that validation or having undue anxiety about it.

[omorka]

From five years further down the same process: no, you don't ever really get over it, and while my situation with my parents has improved, it never really goes all the way back to "good." I dealt with this by getting the heck out of Dodge; it's hard to fight from two states away, and things calmed down a lot when I didn't see them every month. Now when I do see them, they at least try to be decent. Then again, I'd've figured that a grandbaby would have the same effect.

[lunabee34]

This sounds so familiar. Once I graduated college, I moved away for graduate school and have never lived closer to home than 350 miles and that has helped. Having a kid helped initially and continues to help in some ways. Now that my child is nearing ten, I'm seeing that effect start to disappear because now they want to indoctrinate her and think I'm hurting my child spiritually. :(

*hugs*

I'm glad that moving away has helped you.

[veronica_rich]

Sometimes you just have to make peace with the fact they're supposed to be the ones to adjust to your changes, not you to never change - after all, they tried to influence your beliefs first and for a longer time, not vice versa. I've been the odd duck out for most of 40 years, but by this point I'm so used to it it's almost cliche in our family, LOL.

[lunabee34]

I know I have to make peace with it. I just don't know how to. :(

I am such an anxious person. I have real trouble letting go of things.

[veronica_rich]

HA - that probably comes from being a nice person or some such. I've been mean for so long, mostly out of necessity, that I have few problems with disappointing people's hopes. Don't feel bad about it, you're likely just considerate. But be considerate of yourself sometimes too.

[lunabee34]

Thanks for that. I'll try to remember. :)