[ SECRET POST #2002 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2002 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.


__________________________________________________



11.


__________________________________________________



12.


__________________________________________________



13.


__________________________________________________



14.


__________________________________________________



15.


__________________________________________________



16.


__________________________________________________



17.


__________________________________________________



18.


__________________________________________________



19.


__________________________________________________



20.


__________________________________________________









Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 066 secrets from Secret Submission Post #286.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - text comments ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I don't particularly like kidfic, and I think I'm going to be childfree. (Certain disabilities run in the family, and while I'm affected yet very glad to exist, I don't think I'd be capable of dealing with some of the things that might come up with a child who had the same conditions as me. I'm open to adoption if I'm with a partner who wants to have kids when the time comes, but there's so much to do in life that I could be happy either way.)

And I still think that kid is adorable. Needs some wiping, but still adorable. His head looks like a clump of mashed potatoes! He's cute in that sort of ugly-funny way because it's just such a terrible picture!

I think maybe you're doing that thing that some childfree people do, where they feel so much resentment that "no kids for me" is often seen as this weird, unthinkable choice that suddenly babies are the enemy! People who want babies (especially women who want babies) are the enemy! You should think about finding some new friends- not to replace your old ones, but so you can feel less surrounded. Look for other childfree people (the chill ones who see it as a personal decision, of course. Avoid anybody who uses the word "moo" to describe women who have children, or any variation on "voluntary human extinction.") Maybe feeling like you're not alone in not wanting babies will make you feel less angry and scared that someday you really WILL want babies.

It's definitely not the same thing, but back when I was young and starting to realize that I was gay, I was terrified that it would all be a phase and I'd really just be straight. It wasn't because I wanted to be special, or thought I was better than my straight peers, it was because I literally did not understand heterosexual attraction. I thought that what I was feeling about heterosexual relationships (vague disinterest, having the friendship feelings but not the romantic/sexual feelings, etc) was how actual heterosexuals experienced their attractions, except for some reason they enjoyed it. I was scared of having something that I didn't enjoy or want become a thing that I was suddenly compelled to do anyway.

From what I've seen, when people experience the "biological clock", it's very rarely somebody who doesn't want kids suddenly changing their ways. Usually, it's when kids are part of a woman's plan for her life, but she didn't want to have them as a young adult, and then she realizes that it IS "later", and if she doesn't want to have to worry about her fertility, then 30something is probably the best time to start thinking of family planning decisions as an immediate future thing instead of a far future one. Sometimes people re-evaluate whether they want kids when it becomes more of an immediate decision, but you are still in control of your own choices and body and nothing is going to magically make you want to have babies if you don't want them.

Like, when kids are a choice, people have them because they want them! And sometimes a person who didn't want kids before will want them later, but that's because as people grow up, their priorities change sometimes. There is no magic Biological Clock Fairy that comes into your house on your 30th birthday and rewires your brain in your sleep.

So maybe put yourself in an environment where there's no pressure to have babies, and try to understand that people are all different and when we do different things, it's not that the other people are aliens or anything. For the most part, each individual seeks out what makes them feel happy and fulfilled, and that's what makes us have more in common than not.