[ SECRET POST #2003 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2003 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 040 secrets from Secret Submission Post #286.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[meadowphoenix]

Well, I guess I'm not sure what you want. If you want a certain role in the relationship and a deep, nay awe-inspiring, commitment from your partner, cool. I mean the type you can tell are in love by sight alone, and they're still that way when they're 80, and are disgustingly cute, and can have long conversations with no words and have the same sex drives forever and sex is always wonderful. I'm kinda a romantic that way too (except for the certain role part). I mean, I highly doubt that you (or anyone really) are going to get that because of biology, but cool. It's nice to have an ideal relationship so that you can judge the ones you do have on an external standard as long as you are reasonable about it. You might also find that other things outside of the ideal that make you just as happy even if you weren't aware of them, and you shouldn't let an ideal deny you happiness just because you have it.

If you want co-dependence, which is what those relationships actually are, then you have to be happy having no will that isn't your partner's. If you can be happy with that, you're all set, and unless people are being harmed and you teach your children that many types of relationships are possible so that they don't subconsciously model your own which might not make them happy, go at it. It's probably best if you still know how to live in the world without your partner, so that if they die suddenly you aren't completely incapable and spiral into a deep depression, and it's probably not a good idea to want to join them in the afterlife, if you have kids, because that's kinda a shitty thing for your kids, of any age, to go through.

However, if you can't subsume your will, then chances are this arrangement is going to make you hella unhappy. The problem with co-dependence is that occasionally the people in the relationship have conflict. Actual conflict in which no one is willing to change their position and they both expect the outcome to be respected (this doesn't really happen in the media you mentioned because of the will subsuming and the lack of respect for any decision on one partner's part is basically expected) Then they fight, and because they love each other so much, this rift feels like the end of the world, which only serves to heighten the tension. Or because they know the other person loves them, they feel that their partner's inability to capitulate is a sign of their lack of love, and the tension is heightened. It'll probably be harder to compromise because it'll feel their entire relationship is bound up their decision. You go through so many mental and emotional roller-coasters that you frankly could be called unstable with them. You simply won't be happy all the time.

It's not that people don't fall into stereotypes. It's that they can't do so all the time. Their original, one-of-a-kind personality will rear its head and butt against the other unique personality and all hell will break loose because suddenly you are looking at an entirely different person. Maybe if someone keeps getting put into danger and the other dashes in with help, you'll have so much reunion sex, you'll never get into the clashes. I personally think that's the point of danger in romance novels anyway.

So good luck, OP!

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe if someone keeps getting put into danger and the other dashes in with help, you'll have so much reunion sex, you'll never get into the clashes. I personally think that's the point of danger in romance novels anyway.

...Suddenly, I understand why so many ship fics go that route. I always found it odd how it would go "two persons are insecure, love each other but not quite sure if it'll work out because they either can't be together or don't know that it's reciprocal / struggle / they get together / bliss / fights / solut-- no wait, a bad guy breaks into their life and someone has to save the day! / reunion / bliss / the end!"

[meadowphoenix]

Also, the bad guy either makes any problem they were having moot or one partner ~realizes they should be better than they are. They don't even have to talk about the issue at all before the sex! Happily ever after, tbh.