fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2008 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2008 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 088 secrets from Secret Submission Post #287.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

08. http://i.imgur.com/IhrWQ.jpg

I'm down with you guys reclaiming it if everybody comes up with an equivalent term for older dudes that isn't sugar daddy?

I thought silver fox was the equivalent for older dudes.

I thought silver fox referred to an older guy being hot due to his grey hairs giving him an "air of sophistication" and not older guys who pursue younger women?

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-07-05 09:10 (UTC) - Expand

The term you're looking for is "dude." Or man. Or guy. Older men going after younger women is common enough that it doesn't need a special term. Unless we're talking like 80+ year old men going after 20 year olds, in which case it's "guy" and "gold-digger." I suppose cradle robber is fairly gender neutral, if you really wanna get descriptive.

/I'm not judging, but it is true

That was kind of my point? :)

methinks that was the point

It's really not as common as you think
How many men do you even talk to, geez

Mougar.

I thought "cougar" was still widely used for older women that get with younger men?
I never knew this stopped being a thing.

Is there a double standard with this?

From what I've seen men are generally just as looked down upon if they like younger women. I've seen men get called creepy and perverted just for admitting they have crushes on younger women.

Society seems to tell both sexes that you should stick to your own age group.

idk, women who are more than a few years older than their (male) partner get side-eyed a lot harder than the reverse situation. Once you hit 10+ years though, there's a lot of side-eying no matter what, that's true.

i don't know who you hang around or what you're watching but i have never, ever seen anybody side-eye anybody for being in a relationship with somebody who was a few years their senior or junior, unless it dealt with teenagers. 10+ years, yeah, on both sides, but otherwise not at all.

deadtree - 2012-07-03 00:18 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2012-07-03 00:43 (UTC) - Expand

My mom is 8 years older than my dad. When that bit of info comes to the front, it's like everything else takes a back burner to the OMG OLDER WOMAN thing. Including when my sister got her doctorate, my brother returned from Iraq, and I graduated college.

diet_poison - 2012-07-03 15:24 (UTC) - Expand

philstar22 - 2012-07-05 22:09 (UTC) - Expand

You also get the accusations of having a "middle aged crisis" if you're a man who's over about 40 but likes younger women.

I think the social stigma is worse for older women. I've only ever seen men get called creepy for having boundary-crossing unreciprocated crushes, not for actually dating younger women except in cases where the age difference is extreme or if he seems to be taking advantage.

I've definitely had several conversations with people of both genders who though it was more "natural" for men to date younger women.

Men's peers are usually pretty congratulatory while women tend to get pity, side-eying, and judgment. There's also hella more positive portrayals in the media of older male/younger women relationships. Mostly older woman/younger man is played for punchlines or gross out factor.

visp.livejournal.com - 2012-07-03 03:21 (UTC) - Expand

Movies tell us older, lined-faced men, get the gorgeous younger chicks.

Brad Pitt is 12 years older than Angelina Jolie.
George Clooney is 18 years older than Stacy Keibler(his current girlfriend).
Demi Moore is 16 years older than Ashton Kutcher.

Guess which relationship, when mentioned by the media (or anyone, really), almost always has the age gap brought up. Go ahead, guess.

I think, at least in the United States, that it's generally frowned down upon more when a man tries to hook up with a younger woman. Same for men who have sex with teenagers vs. women who do. I don't know how many times I've seen a female teacher get a ridiculously light sentence after having sex with a student (meanwhile the general prevailing opinion seems to be "that's hot") but the opposite happens to male teachers who have sex with students.

childings.livejournal.com - 2012-07-04 01:29 (UTC) - Expand

What fandom does this have to do with? Am I just having a dunce moment and not connecting something, or do "cougars" have their own fandom now or something? So confused.

Also, I didn't think it needed reclaiming? I thought it was a legit term people used and were proud of it. So double confused.

I think it's the "fictional crushes" part that makes it a fandom secret.

get into WAND ERECTION fandom asap, op.

You just threw me back to a time when I was a Naruto fan and thought Sasuke was hot (this was during the first part of the manga when he was only slightly emo.) A coworker took a lot of pleasure reminding me he was only 12. My reaction was first shock, then shrug. I told him I was a cougar. After ogling Zack Efron and a couple of other younger dudes I believe it's actually true.

I thought people were already reclaiming this term. If not, get on that shit, girl!

lol at the irony of

~more mature then most real men my age~

tbh.

Most people past about fifteen get over that kind of childish nonsense.