[ SECRET POST #2028 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2028 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 107 secrets from Secret Submission Post #290.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

That's because your parents have been around long enough to know when people are just being lazy. I'm about as far from conservative as humanly possible, but OP doesn't need pity. OP needs a spine. And a job.

[akashasheiress]

You don't know OP, so there's is no way in hell you can know that.

[(Anonymous)]

And there's no way you can know that OP is one of the relatively few people who are, at 24, incapable of working. But I'm a lot more likely to be right.

[akashasheiress]

How so?

[(Anonymous)]

Do you realize that you have a very middle/upper class right-wing view of poverty and work, btw?
My parents also believe that the reason there is homelessness is because homeless people are 'lazy' and would rather rely on handouts than find work. I'm sorry, but you have to be ridiculously sheltered to believe that all it takes is a 'spine' to find employment, and if you don't have a job it all comes down to laziness. They also dislike welfare because they think it only encourages people to be lazy and reliant on handouts.
Mental and physical impedements, family and other life situations, environmental factors, etc, all play a huge role in hindering people from finding work. Laziness is usually not the main factor, sorry to say.

[(Anonymous)]

Re: about the homelessness thing

My dad was homeless and he had a job. Laziness doesn't have much to do with homelessness in my experience

[(Anonymous)]

But what about homeless people without jobs? I'm guessing you'd consider them lazy?

[(Anonymous)]

What? No.

I was saying he was still homeless after he got managed to get a job, so it's usually more than just a job issue? I mean I don't think it's laziness if people can't get jobs. The job rate is bad and sometimes even one job isn't enough. :(

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry, I thought you were the anon I replied to! Yeah, I agree with you

[(Anonymous)]

You're dead wrong. I have a very blue collar, working class outlook on young people who refuse to work. In what world does being a liberal or a democrat (two things I am) have to do with saying it's a-okay for people to choose not to work, and that we then should affirm their choice to not work? Not in the world of reality, that's for sure.

I think that welfare is an incredibly important thing, and I am FAR from sheltered. It seems to me that the worst offenders in the too-special-to-get-and-keep-a-job category are the SHELTERED children of the upper middle class. I'm from the working class. I did not graduate from college. I've been working full-time since I was 20. I live in just-a-bit-better-than-slum apartments. I struggle to pay my bills. I have mental and physical illnesses that I live with and work through.

Basically, stop saying that anybody who dares to suggest that OP and people like her are lazy are clearly some kind of perfect people who never had to try hard for anything. You couldn't possibly be more wrong.

[(Anonymous)]

NA

we then should affirm their choice to not work

Except that NO ONE is doing that or saying anyone should do that. What they are affirming is that the job market sucks and it's scary and that the OP's feelings are valid and hard to deal with. NO ONE is saying, OMG OP NEVER GET A JOB YOU ARE TOO SPECIAL. The OP is feeling worried and inadequate, and is deserving of support and help with those feelings because they are a human being and our compassion (the compassion of some strangers on the internet) costs us nothing to give.

[(Anonymous)]

The OP is feeling worried and inadequate, and the OP is deserving of strong encouragement to do whatever he or she has to do to get out there and start trying to get a job. The OP is also deserving of a little bit of shaming for not doing so already. To me, that is ultimately the compassionate thing to do because OP really needs that kick in the ass to get out there and focus on trying to be self-sufficient. Hugging people and telling them that what they're doing is fine is not a compassionate choice if what they're doing is harmful.

[emma_moon]

Why would you shame someone at all? We only know a bit of what the OP's life is like from a few sentences. There could be more to the story than we know of.

No one is telling the OP not to get a job but like another anon said how hard is it to give a little bit of compassion? I know there are many of us that have been in a similar situation and have had no one to turn to when we needed help. A few encouraging words cost nothing and may make the OP feel better and possibly try and go out and look for work.

[akashasheiress]

Seriously. I don't get the obsession with 'shaming'. Again, I think people only do it to feel superior.

DA

[(Anonymous)]

Hey, I'm not trying to start any drama or be an asshole here, but sometimes the worst thing anyone can do is show too much compassion. It's clear OP has some problems, and I don't think encouraging them is bad, necessarily. It's when 'encouragement' turns into 'big hug box' that it's a problem. OP will never improve themselves unless they take that first step, and when people still encourage them to stay involved in fandom/not worry about it/not improve, they remain stuck in that sort of 'downward spiral' that anons below spoke about.

I'm not saying LOL BOOTSTRAPS BUCK UP SON, but I am saying that OP needs to stop dwelling on it and try to take some corrective action to improve their lives. Things don't improve because you wish it so, they improve because you make them.

Again, not trying to be a drama llama, just offering a different perspective.

Re: DA

[emma_moon]

But we don't know what is actually going on in the OP's life. All we have are a few sentences. And it's possible that the OP can't articulate what is going on very well. I know that I have that problem and it's hard to say or type out what's wrong.

I don't think anyone is coddling the OP here. We're just holding out a helping hand and that hand is there to get the OP headed in the right direction. That's all. There have been harsh comments on here toward the OP calling them lazy and such. How do we know they don't have severe depression? Sometimes it's hard to get out of bed let alone look for work. And sometimes it's easier to get lost in fandom to have some type of escape from the disappointments and frustrations of RL.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Shaming is never "ultimately the compassionate thing to do". It's just not. It may be ultimately helpful, but that is not the same thing.

And AGAIN, no one is "telling them that what they're doing is fine", they are telling them what they're feeling is valid and may be something they need to seek help for if it's preventing them from being happy, which it obviously is. Do you see the difference between condoning actions and having sympathy/compassion for feelings? Because that may be where we are not getting each other.