fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2031 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2031 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

__________________________________________________

11.

__________________________________________________

12.

__________________________________________________

13.

__________________________________________________

14.

__________________________________________________

15.

__________________________________________________

16.

__________________________________________________

17.

__________________________________________________

18.

__________________________________________________

19.

__________________________________________________

20.

__________________________________________________

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 043 secrets from Secret Submission Post #290.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

This isn't so much about fandom, actually, more about... I don't know, identities that are par for the course in fandom but practically taboo IRL. I mentioned "transgender" once to someone in passing, and she looked at me like I'd grown three heads.

Has anyone else had this kind of experience?

I've had the opposite; it wasn't until after fandom/the internet that I noticed how ingrained homophobia, transphobia, racism, etc. are into my culture when I hear older relatives discuss those topics in passing (mostly because of the news) and I can't bring myself to respond because they already consider themselves to be open-minded and I just realized how very much they are not and at this point of their lives I really don't want to upset them and... yeah. :(

I joked that a friend of mine might be asexual to my roommate (the worst roommate ever. If you're reading, Nicole, I hope you die a painful death!), and she immediately insisted that it was impossible to not want sex.

That was awkward.

I hate that people like this exist. Not the people themselves, but the culture(s) that engendered that mentality.

I have a friend who feels like this (he may or may not read this; I know he reads F!S, and if he sees my screen name...). He's not a jerk about it or anything, but.. I want to write more asexual stuff (I think Sherlock can be read as asexual, and I'd like to explore that), but since he's the guy I talk to about my story ideas, it feels... awkward.

Yep. For instance...

Me: I'm a feminist.

Friend: *wrinkles nose* Ew, seriously?

IRL, it's considered an insult to a lot of misinformed people.

That's because a lot of feminists unfortunately seem to work very hard to be unlikable in the name grrrl power(!!!), giving us all a bad rep.

That's because a lot of feminists unfortunately have been smeared by conservatives, giving us all a bad rep.

Fixed that for you.

I wouldn't say "a lot of feminists" act that way. It seems very much a "vocal minority" sort of thing; the most memorable members of any given group tend to be the ones that get on our nerves, and that kind of sours the idea to everybody else.

I like that about fandom. I can talk about women and finding them attractive and can talk other bi, gay, pan, trans, asexual etc. (sorry if I left you out) people and we can be ourselves. I literally do not know any not straight or out of the closet people irl (unless my Facebook friends list counts) so fandom is good for opening my eyes to other sexualities, mind sets, ways of life, etc.

Aw. I'm glad you've found that here. I also hope you meet some RL people, because they're totally there.

I hate when this happens, but at the same time, people live and learn. Last fall a coworker of mine got outed as transsexual among a small group of gossiping supervisors, and I swear some people were sounding like it was the most exciting thing that had happened to them all year. :/ But you know what? They were then faultlessly respectful to him and didn't tell anyone else at all.

On the whole people are (or at least want others to think they are) nice to each other, at least within social situations. It's pretty well-established that the main factor that influences how people feel about LGBT rights is whether they know anyone who's out as LGBT, and I'm sure the same goes for many other identities; of course, in the meantime, it's not always safe to be out.

I have a general rule for discussing this kind of topic with non-informed people and it's to avoid jargon at all costs, especially stuff like privilege; just talking about fairness and respect gets through to pretty much everyone who it's worth getting through to.

I have a general rule for discussing this kind of topic with non-informed people and it's to avoid jargon at all costs, especially stuff like privilege; just talking about fairness and respect gets through to pretty much everyone who it's worth getting through to.

This seems like a good idea. All the jargon might as well be an exotic foreign language for the people who have never come across it before (of which there are so, so many off-line).

I'm glad you do this!

Agreed. Jargon makes people uncomfortable with the topic even more uncomfortable with it.

[ SECRET POST #2031 ]

Mentioning gender-related stuff (or fandom) IRL?

Re: Mentioning gender-related stuff (or fandom) IRL?

Re: Mentioning gender-related stuff (or fandom) IRL?

Re: Mentioning gender-related stuff (or fandom) IRL?

Re: Mentioning gender-related stuff (or fandom) IRL?

Re: Mentioning gender-related stuff (or fandom) IRL?

Re: Mentioning gender-related stuff (or fandom) IRL?

Re: Mentioning gender-related stuff (or fandom) IRL?

no subject

Re: Mentioning gender-related stuff (or fandom) IRL?

Re: Mentioning gender-related stuff (or fandom) IRL?

Re: Mentioning gender-related stuff (or fandom) IRL?

Re: Mentioning gender-related stuff (or fandom) IRL?

Re: Mentioning gender-related stuff (or fandom) IRL?