[ SECRET POST #2033 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2033 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Mortal Kombat]


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04.


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05.
[The Young and the Restless]


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06.


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07.
[Firefly, Joss Whedon; Sherlock BBC, Steven Moffat]


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08. http://i.imgur.com/Je2qV.png
[not really porny but implied underage sexual stuff; photomanip; snape/hermione]


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09.


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10.


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11.


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12.


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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]












13. [SPOILER WARNING for Pokemon Black/White]



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14. [SPOILER WARNING for Kurau: Phantom Memory]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]













15. [WARNING for rape]



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16. [WARNING for suicide]



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17. [WARNING for incest]

[Kono Naka ni Hikari, Imouto ga Iru!]


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18. [WARNING for animal death/abuse?]

[Eden Lake]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #290.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[velvet_mace]

I wish you hadn't agreed on it. It's clear that she has way different kinks and narrative tropes than you do. There's nothing wrong with what she likes -- that sort of fantasy dubcon is very popular and hits a sweet spot in a lot of people. It's not meant to be realistic and advising her to make it realistic will just be like trying to shove a square peg in a round hole -- discouraging to both of you.

Tell her that you have a squick for dubcon and non-con, that you can tollerate it only if it's being presented in a brutal realistic way rather than a light fantasy-romantic or humorous way. And then say that you'd love to help advise her on any projects that she has that don't include dub-con or non-con elements.

This gets you out of reading her squick and at the same time frees her up to find someone who can truly advise her with her favorite narrative tropes.

Also... wow a lot of kink shaming for fantasy rape in this thread. You'd think we hadn't discussed this before. You all don't like 50 shades and Twilight and the bajillion other romance books that fall into this "problematic" category, that's great, but you don't get to decide what other people enjoy in escapism, and clearly lots and lots of women enjoy fantasy dubcon and unrealistic non-con.

[(Anonymous)]

I actually don't mind non-con/dub-con. In fact, they're my kinks, and she knows it. What I don't like is those kinks being described as something romantic and humorous. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to understand it (she doesn't seem to understand the general concept that some things squick people, actually).

[velvet_mace]

Yes, but non-con/dub con being done as romantic and humorous is a kink in and of itself. That's the whole basis of the bodice rippers romance genre. Many people enjoy a good rape joke (despite the froth from the SJ segment). Death by Snu-snu and all that. It's black humor and it's very much unrealistic fantasy, but it's what makes people's ids happy.

All rape and non-con aren't the same. It makes as much sense to lump this fantasy romantic noncon in with rapefic as it does to lump either in with BDSM. They are all different things, different kinks and not necessarily overlapping ones. So you can have a kink for one, but not the other.

[(Anonymous)]

uhhhh....did you read the secret? it sounds like OP's friend really does think that the stuff she is writing is actually romantic and disagrees with people who say otherwise. I have a non-con kink too and I don't actually think it's romantic in real life.

[velvet_mace]

I understand it perfectly. There are two kinds of non-con. Realistic and fantasy. I personally perfer realistic (and it looks like you do, too) but that doesn't mean it's the only valid flavor.

The friend needs to warn, definitely, but she doesn't need to stop writing the kind of non-con that she enjoys.

[stainless]

Yeah, this. I like some "romantic" noncon/dubcon (and other stuff, too.) I have no illusions that this is any kind of good idea or any kind of realistic portrayal of courtship.

The question is whether the friend does or not. It sounds like OP thinks she doesn't, or at least feels unsure enough about it to get the jibblies.

[riddian]

If I may butt in, it sounds to me like the friend may have that kink, but the problem is that she doesn't realize she would need to warn for anything in the first place. Non-con isn't a problem, but thinking of it as "twu wuv" and "so cute teehee!" is. I got the impression that the friend's attitude toward non-con stuff wasn't limited to fic and extended to RL situations, and that's where things get creepy.

[velvet_mace]

Yeah, I agree. Warning is definitely necessary.

But I was getting the feel off the OP that the fact that it was romantic and humorous was the problem, not the fact that it wasn't properly warned for. While warnings are important, I don't think that would get in the way of the OP being able to advise on the fic itself. I got the feeling the OP couldn't even read her friend's fic because she was squicked at the treatment of the subject matter.

I got the feeling the core of the problem was the friend insisting that her kink was fluffy bunnies and waff -- when in fact the friend wants her kink to be fluffy bunnies and waff -- and non-con. There's an awful lot of "think of the poor victims" shaming that gets laid onto people who have this kink. Honestly, no, they don't want to think of the victims. Because this is their happy escapism time where they don't have to get bogged down in all that real life misery.

[stainless]

Honestly, no, they don't want to think of the victims. Because this is their happy escapism time where they don't have to get bogged down in all that real life misery.

Thank you for this. I don't usually go for Fluffy Bunnies Noncon, but I do go for stuff that in real life would be pretty fucking creepy, and... that, yeah. It's not supposed to be realistic. That's not why I like it.

[(Anonymous)]

You get on your high horse and try to make everyone feel bad for "kinkshaming" like it makes us all nasty people, then come out with 'we don't want to think about the victims so we can enjoy our happy porn place'

That attitude SHOULD be shamed, and I make no apologies for it. Maybe cos I just dealt irl with a hideous abuse case that centred all round this "if you are targetted it's your fault and you wanted it really" BS. It is toxic, full stop, the end.

Shame on you, Shame. You come across as utterly selfish and callous.

[(Anonymous)]

To me she comes across as thoughtful and pragmatic, and her comments made a very clear distinction between fantasy and reality. You can cry shame on her and her cow and her third cousin once removed all you want, but in this case, I don't see it sticking.

[stainless]

THIS.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm pretty sure there's a difference between "I don't ever want to think about the real-life victims of rape and abuse," and "When I'm having my sexy-pretend time, I don't want to think about real-life tragedy -- not because I lack compassion, but because if I thought about the horrible suffering of others in every waking moment, I'd spend my life in misery. It's okay for me to take some time out for entirely fictional sexy-pretending."

And this is coming from someone who doesn't have a non-con/rape kink.

[fuchsiascreams]

I mean, some people have rape kinks. It's a very common fantasy (for women in particular), and it's not wrong or bad. In fact, a lot of sexual abuse survivors later go on to have rape kinks.

[(Anonymous)]

You said that way better than I did.

[fuchsiascreams]

But fantasy rape is not the same thing as a person legitimately thinking that rape is a romantic expression of love (in which case, she probably isn't warning for it, either, since she doesn't think there's anything wrong with it).