fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2037 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2037 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 067 secrets from Secret Submission Post #291.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - personal attack ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Going only by this secret, it's less about your appearance and more about your whiny personality and tendency to cry wolf about people judging you because you're female. You also seem pretty desperate and that's always a turn off.

Protip, make yourself look as nice as you can. Keep your weight down, get a nice hair style, wear clothes that fit, etc. Any perceived flaws that remain, think of them indicators of personality, little quirks that make you unique. Trust me, this is much more productive than whining on FS.

+1

OP sounds like a friend of mine who spends more time complaining about how no one likes her because the way she looks.

To make it worse: She isn't ugly {though she does nothing to improve her appearance} and so far has turned down every man interested in her because they weren't attractive enough and according to her, that means she is so ugly that only men who can't get an attractive girlfriend go after her.

Um. Ew. No. Look however you fucking feel like looking, OP. If you want to put more effort in, do it. If not, don't. If someone doesn't like your looks, too damn bad for them.

It is totally reasonable to not want to change your own appearance and still decry the obnoxious beauty standards that can make you feel crappy about yourself from time to time.

da. If somebody doesn't want to dress-up, make-up and pay too much attention to looking attractive then that's entirely their own business and nobody should hassle them about it. However, they should accept that not putting an effort into their appearance will probably substantially reduce the number of people who will be physically attracted to them and thus interested in pursuing a romantic attachment (though if they're specifically looking for somebody who doesn't care about looks at all then this would be a logical filtering strategy to adopt).

AYRT

I feel that you're saying a much more fair thing than the prescriptive "here is what you should do to look attractive" comments above, and that's cool. I agree that a refusal to adopt conventional beauty standards will probably decrease the dating pool, and that's something that anybody who wants to actively date should take into consideration, whether they decide to actually do it or not.

But OP never said how much effort she puts into her appearance, only that she thinks she isn't conventionally attractive, so the original response of "lose some weight and put some makeup on" was seriously gross.

Men don't put make-up on, why should I?

some men actually DO wear makeup tho? also, not doing sth solely on the basis that men, or any random group of ppl, don't do it is kinda a dumb reason not to do it yourself. Don't feel like you HAVE to do it obviously, it's totally a matter of personal choice, but refusing to do sth on grounds that "XXX doesn't do itttt!" sounds exactly like a little kid going "but Jimmy's mom doesn't make HIM eat broccoli, why should I have to?"

Actually, I would say that the fact that our expectations of men make a perfectly valid comparison point. Do we insist on men painting their faces in order to make themselves 'attractive'? No. So why apply the same standard to women?

Some men with facial disfigurement wear make-up - most don't bother, though. There are those men who use it for professional reasons, but not all the time. Outside of that, the number of men who wear make-up is such a small fraction it's ridiculous to compare.

Also, stop the presses: nobody is supposed to expose and refuse to follow social inequalities concerning the way women versus men are treated, because that would be the same as a childish "XXX doesn't do itttt!" whine? How funny of you. But NO.

Agreed.

Yes, be sure to keep your weight down! Remember, kids, fat people can't have active, happy love and sex lives! And they're all ugly - p-yew!

It doesn't look like personality has much weight at all. At least you sound like an insufferable jackass and seemingly you have no trouble in that department.

[ SECRET POST #2037 ]

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