fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2041 ]

[ SECRET POST #2041 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2041 ⌋

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I'm a 26-year-old virgin (electively so), and I think part of it has to do with my extreme fear of inserting anything into my vag.
Like, I've never used a tampon even. I know, it's weird.

Anyway I hear about these Diva Cup things and how they're amazing and all, and I know it's gotta be something you jam up there, but can someone explain this shit to me like I'm 12 and in a sex ed class for the first time (because I never took one of those and my parents never explained it to me, and I was too afraid of penetration of any type to even wonder about it till now). Really the only reason I actually care is that I've started having extremely heavy flow recently and pads are getting way too costly and I have to change them like every 30 minutes.

Thanks for any help!

If you can use a tampon, then they aren't too horrible. I personally can't use them (or tampons) because the feeling of something inside of me long term irritates me, but if you can stand the feel of it, then it might be for you. My sister swears by them. The only bad thing is if you've got to drain it in a public toilet that doesn't have a sink nearby.

There's a couple of good youtube videos showing how to insert them - using props not an actual person's vagina. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLPBZz3uJEg

I have a love/hate relationship with my Diva Cup. When it works, it's awesome, but when it doesn't, it drives me insane.

There are all these charts that claim that the cup holds so much more than a pad, but that doesn't seem to be true in my experience. I'm probably doing something wrong, but I don't even think I have that heavy of a flow compared to some people, and the cup gets full really fast, while on light to moderate days I can wear an ultra thin pad for 10+ hours before having to change.

I do find the cup a lot more comfortable than tampons, which I could always feel even though I know you're not supposed to be able to. The cup I actually can't feel, though. If I could get it to work for me (to not have to empty it so often, and to be able to lay down without it losing its seal/suction and therefore leaking), I would use it exclusively.

DA

I used to go through super tampons every 1-2 hours. On my heavy days with a Divacup, I can go about 4 hours before I have to empty the thing. I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong, just felt light weighing in on the topic. Are you using the correct size cup? I recently had to switch to the larger size, which they recommend for women 30 and older, or women who've given birth.

God, I agree with feeling the tampons. I don't miss that.

*felt like

I'm under 30 and have never given birth, so I went with the smaller size. I don't think it's the size of the cup, though (I thought the larger size was because the smaller one would possibly fall out, not because you magically get a heavier flow after 30/after you give birth?). I think it's possible that it leaks because the holes are blocked and the seal breaks (which is definitely what happens when I lay down). I've read a ton on the LJ cup comm, and I've been meaning to try enlarging the holes and see if that does anything, but I haven't gotten around to finding a drill yet (I've tried using a larger knitting needle, but that just stretched them out temporarily and they went right back to the same size).

WikiHow has a step by step guide with video and pictures: http://www.wikihow.com/Use-a-Menstrual-Cup

(diagrams of female genitals, no nudity)

If you have problems with tampons, then I'll warn you that menstrual cups will be a bit more intimidating, since they require you get more up close and personal, as it were. That said, if you can spare the up-front cost to get one they are an absolute life-saver, especially since you have a heavy flow, and it'll last you years.

Luckily, there is a pretty comprehensive community over on LJ (

menstrual_cups) with lots and lots of helpful people answering questions, and the posts are all pretty well tagged for easy searching. Here's a post I found in their faq tag: the virgin's guide to cups (http://menstrual-cups.livejournal.com/1243131.html). There are also plenty of picture tutorials showing different folding methods, or as anon above mentioned, there are plenty of videos available on youtube as well.

My advice: Before you buy, watch some video tutorials to get used to the process, and read through the posts tagged for insertion and removal problems so you don't panic if things don't go as expected. One of the pros cups have over tampons is that you can do a dry run when you're not on your period to get used to them in a no-pressure environment. Take deep breaths, use as much lube as you need to get comfortable, and if you start getting stressed out, return to the deep breaths or take a break until you're ready to go at it again. The more relaxed you are, the easier the process will be. And because of the way your body chemistry changes down there during your cycle, I guarantee it'll be even easier to get the cup in and out once your period actually starts.

If you're seriously strapped for cash and phobic of inserting things up there, then I wouldn't honestly recommend them, but if you can spare about $30 for a Diva Cup and you're willing to give it a shot, knowing that a cup won't work for everybody, go for it! A lot of people who dislike the way tampons feel inside them can't feel their cup at all because it sits closer to the opening of the vaginal canal, rather than right up against the cervix. Personally, I can only feel mine when it's full... which is a really great indication that it needs to be emptied. My period isn't as heavy as others, but my cup is also not the largest one made, so I can get away with changing it every 3-4 hours on the first day, then tapering that out to every 12-24 at the end, including those awkward few spotting days after my period has technically ended but my underwear is still vulnerable to getting gross. You might find your experience is different, but you ought to at least get more than 30 hours out of a cup, goddamn.

ayrt
wow, thanks for all this comprehensive info!! I'm definitely going to check it out, though honestly even your little description of using lube to insert it has me seriously squicked out so maybe they're not for me. Also it's not that I can't afford it, it's just that I feel like I'm throwing a lot of money in the trash when I use pads, you know? Since I have to go through so many. I could be buying clothes or video games or something with that money! :p

different anon, but I would also suggest maybe testing your comfort level with cups by getting some of the the disposable ones first. They're one-size (to my knowledge), so the fit may not be as customizable as choosing between the brands and sizes of reusable cups, but you could see if you tolerate them okay. Also I'm a petite virgin and while I don't have insertion/penetration phobias, I can be a little dry (a medication side effect) but I've never ever needed lube with cups!

If an insertion 'solution' turns out to be too much for you to handle, have you given a thought to Gladrags? They're reusable cotton cloth pads. Might be the way to go - money saving and green and no insertion.

Good luck!

DA

Thank you for that link. I can't stand insertion of anything and these seem like they'd be a great help :)

Oddly enough, while I used to have a fear of penetration and was totally creeped out by tampons (I've still never used one), I was really gung-ho about using a menstrual cup!

I think I might have an especially slippery and stretchy vagina or something, but as a complete virgin, it only took me less than a month of occasionally stretching myself for a few minutes with one, then two fingers to get set for using my cup! I bought a bit tube of lube, too, but I hardly needed to use any.

I find the biggest thing you need to worry about once you've figured out how to get a cup in, is making sure it doesn't pop open while you're taking it out. THAT can be uncomfortable, haha!

22 year old virgin here. I bought a menstrual cup a couple of years ago since I'd heard good things about them, it was also a bit intimidatingly large but I tried it out anyway. Try as I might I just could not get that thing up there. Not sure if I'm doing it wrong, though I followed the instructions as best I could, of if I'm just unusually narrow. I've used tampons before though I don't really like them. Anyone have any advice that might help?

Hey there! I was a 20-year-old virgin when I first started using my cup! I didn't actually have much trouble with mine, so it could be a narrowness thing. Have you tried stretching yourself beforehand? I took a month before first using mine of working myself up to two fingers and then scissoring them, both sideways and forward and back.

Make sure you're pushing it in and towards your belly, too.

As well, I've always had the most luck with the seven-fold pictured here: http://menstrual-cups.livejournal.com/453392.html?thread=4016400

Hope some of that helps!

Just want to point out that having trouble putting a tampon in does not necessarily translate to having trouble putting in a menstrual cup. I've never really been able to use tampons easily - I've tried but they're uncomfortable, I could feel them and I hated that, sometimes I couldn't even get them in at all. My cups, on the other hand, are amazing. I had no trouble with insertion even the first time I used one, and I cannot feel them once they're in. I can just... forget that I'm menstruating for six to eight hours at a time.

The thing is, I don't have any general issue with putting things in my vagina. If you're scared of inserting *anything*, then IDK. I'll echo the people who have suggested you watch some youtube videos - I know there's one where someone uses a clear glass tube for demonstration purposes, so you can see what's going on - and check out the menstrual cups community. I've seen posts there by virgins who use them and love them, so it's definitely possible.

I have never used a cup, but I use the Nuva Ring birth control (which basically looks like a plastic bracelet that you insert into your vagina), and while I have no issues with using either tampons or the ring, I think inserting the ring is way more labor intensive (so to speak LOL) than a tampon. I can imagine that might be the case with the cup as well.

I always double up pads and tampons. How would you feel about trying that? You could start out with the smallest/lowest absorbency tampon while still using a pad (I do this because you can't always time the exact moment the tampon is going to start leaking). You wouldn't have to change everything so frequently.

Aha, I always wondered how many women use both tampons AND pads. I didn't figure out to do this until I was in my early 30s, and I have to say, I felt a lot safer that way than with just one or the other.

All past tense because, thank god, I got to have an emergency hysterectomy at 37. No more uterus for me! (And boy, do the women I know hate me, LOL.)

Heeee. I started doing it as a teenager because my flow is so heavy. I started out with pads, but my parents have a fireplace, and I loved laying on my back, propping my feet up on the hearth and watching TV. When I started my period, my flow was so heavy that with just a pad, if I laid on my back like that, everything would just run off the pad and stain my pants. So my mom suggested I use tampons. I switched to tampons, but my flow was so heavy, that I ended up staining my clothes if I couldn't go to the bathroom like every 2.5869 hours or whatever. LOL But if I used them *both*, nothing gets stained yay!

I am extremely jealous of your lack of uterus. I frequently fantasize that my ovaries dry up like raisins and roll down my leg or that my uterus gets sucked into a black hole.

I do still have my ovaries - which, thankfully. I really didn't want to go into early menopause. They just removed the uterus ... which had a 9-pound fibroid mass attached to it. Apparently doctors from around the hospital complex were in and out at the OR to view it during the surgery. Yay me?

You, my dear, are we call Coochie Famous. LOL

I would demand royalties on any textbook entries.

I'm wearing one right now!

I think it's really helpful if your flow is heavier, but if you're that freaked out by penetration a diva cup is probably not the first thing you want to experiment with putting inside yourself. I think that the better you know your own... internal layout, the easier it is to get the cup positioned comfortably. But that doesn't mean it's not worth trying. Other people have already recommended doing a dry run using as much lube as necessary, and that's a great idea! Also, until you're sure how the cup works for you, definitely, definitely use a back up pad or pantyliner.

You know, on another note....you might try relaxing in bed some night and just...exploring your body. I'm not talking about trying to get off or anything, but just feeling around, getting to know yourself. Maybe even use a mirror one day after hopping out of the shower or something.

The more you know about your body, the more you might relax about having to 'deal' with it, and the more you might know about how much you could handle, penetration-wise.

*Assuming, of course, that you haven't already done this. But knowing how your body feels/works/reacts is a big step toward being comfortable with it.*

ayrt
actually LOL I think trying to do that at too young an age (or something) kinda caused my problems now. Like I got curious one day, checked it out in a mirror, have been terrified ever since and don't like thinking about it.

I'm guessing that the menstrual cups won't be a thing I am able to deal with... but I'm glad I asked because otherwise I never would have known!

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[ SECRET POST #2041 ]

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