[ SECRET POST #2041 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2041 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 125 secrets from Secret Submission Post #292.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Yet another sexuality related question

[(Anonymous)]

I am female. Thus far in my life I've only been romantically involved with guys, but I've had crushes on girls that didn't go anywhere for one reason or another, and I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that I could actually be in a relationship with one someday. I don't...feel straight if that makes sense, but I'm not sure I can legitimately call myself bi either when I've never actually dated a girl.

So I'm not quite sure how to identify. I feel like, in theory, bi could fit, or even pan, and a friend of mine suggested "queer" (although I don't really like that one since I've mainly heard it used in a negative context). Or should I just consider myself straight unless/until I actually date a girl?

/doesn't want to be seen as a special snowflake straight girl who's appropriating anyone's identity

Re: Yet another sexuality related question

[(Anonymous)]

I'd say bi or bicurious, but I'm not actually involved in any of those circles so I don't know what the PC term would be

Re: Yet another sexuality related question

[(Anonymous)]

I'd say bi/bi-curious as well. Attraction doesn't have to equal behavior. If you've felt legit attracted to girls you could probably call yourself bi.

Re: ...And I just ate an entire jar of Nutella. I'll take "Signs I've Started My Period" for 200 Ale

[unicornherds]

I'd say bi fits. I mean, would you say a virgin couldn't properly label themselves anything? It's not about experience, it's about how you feel and who you're attracted to.

Re: ...And I just ate an entire jar of Nutella. I'll take "Signs I've Started My Period" for 200 Ale

[(Anonymous)]

At the end of the day it's up to you to decide but...otherwise? I'd say you're bi mostly likely, since [I'm assuming] those crushes were as strong as the ones you've had one guys and it's not just a 'Hey, I'd like to being with a girl to see what it's like'. But this is just my opinion, and, seeing as I don't really travel too deeply into those circles, ymmv.

Re: Yet another sexuality related question

[(Anonymous)]

I've gone through a similar thought process before (female, ids personally as "queer", says "bi" if asked, marrying a man, have only dated a couple other people, also men), but along the lines another poster mentioned, I reasoned: could I really not legitimately id as a sexuality attracted to men before dating one? What makes it different for my attraction to women?

So, OP: did you not identify as straight until you dated a boy? (Apologies if this has already been brought up -- late where I am and I am typing slowwww...)

Also, vaguely recall an essay I read in an anthology of essays, poems, and prose on bisexuality, written by a woman in the same "never dated a woman, marrying a man, IDs as bi" boat. Finding someone with the same experience who called herself bi was a sort of strange relief, since I feel like many stories written by/about bisexuals are about people with experience with both sexes, and I felt like I wasn't doing it right, somehow... Trying to recall the name of the book, though, and having trouble; think it might have been called "Look Both Ways".

Re: Yet another sexuality related question

[(Anonymous)]

You don't need to "get your ticket punched" before you can legitimately identify as a particular sexual orientation. If you feel attraction to women as well as men and want to identify as bi, then you're bi; you don't need to date or have sex with a woman first for it to "count." Identify how it feels right for you.