[ SECRET POST #2050 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2050 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 114 secrets from Secret Submission Post #293.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

friending etiquette woes

[(Anonymous)]

So I have this friend who participated in a fic exchange last year. The requester didn't like what my friend wrote and never commented on it, but sent a friend of theirs to flame it instead and it escalated in a nasty kerfluffle.
A few months after the tactless requester has friended me over another fandom. I very reluctantly added them back.
And now their flamer friend has friended me too. They even sent me a PM to tell me "am not a spambot plz add me back" and I'm torn. What I want to do is answer something in the lines of
"Oh yeah, I know you're not a spambot: you're the troll who created this account just to flame my friend over something you had no part in whatsoever then never used it again, whom everybody thought was a sockpuppet, who managed to frame your friend as a flamer, a liar and a hypocrite.
Now I know everybody has the right to make mistakes and to get a second chance, but so you know, if you want to make friends in fandom, don't do that shit ever again."
except well... I dare not. Who am I to say such things? I didn't have a part in this kerfluffle either, in the first place.
So what should I do instead?

Re: friending etiquette woes

[(Anonymous)]

Look, the answer is simple. You can figure it out in a couple steps.

Step one: Does your friend care that you've friended these two people? If so, then don't friend them. If she doesn't care you can move onto the next step.

Step two: Do you want to be friends with them? If you don't, then don't friend them. If you do, move onto the next step.

Step three: Do you not want to be friends with someone who will exhibit such nasty behavior and so set a rule for being their friend? If you don't care, move onto the next step. If you do care, make the ultimatum either to yourself and carry it out if they do something nasty or tell them upfront so they can decide if they are willing to act like decent human beings. Now move onto the next step.

Step four: Friend them under the conditions you chose in step three.

Now go forth and be happy.

Re: friending etiquette woes

[(Anonymous)]

Step four: ????

Step five: PROFIT!

FTFY

Re: friending etiquette woes

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

Ha, I was tempted to do that myself. I just couldn't figure out how to put it in because I was so tired. Thank you for fixing it for me.

Re: friending etiquette woes

[(Anonymous)]

If you're made of iron and flames wash over you harmlessly, I say do this:

1.Find out if they've matured or if they're still the same brats that pulled that shit on your friend.

2.If not, go with your idea:

"Oh yeah, I know you're not a spambot: you're the troll who created this account just to flame my friend over something you had no part in whatsoever then never used it again, whom everybody thought was a sockpuppet, who managed to frame your friend as a flamer, a liar and a hypocrite.
Now I know everybody has the right to make mistakes and to get a second chance, but so you know, if you want to make friends in fandom, don't do that shit ever again."

3. If yes (they have matured), ask yourself this: do you really want to "friend" them? You're not obligated to do it if you don't want to. I mean, if you don't want to get into this like you said, just decline their friending thingy and block them if it's possible.

4. If you want them as a friend, consider how your friend might react, or if they're the honest type, ask them what they think.