fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2089 ]

[ SECRET POST #2089 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2089 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Slender Man]

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[TGWTG]

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[Twin Peaks]

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[Jojo's Bizarre Adventure]

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[Journey Into Mystery]

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[Ferris Bueller's Day Off]

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[Transonic (X-men)]

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[Baldur's Gate]

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[Wanted]

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[Tiger & Bunny]

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[Bionicle]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #298.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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15. http://i.imgur.com/Niv3M.jpg

:( I'm sorry to hear this, OP. Nothing else I can say, really, other than I hope things work out for you. And I'm glad you're getting help.

OT: TOOTHLESS! SOCUUUUUTE XD

Have you considered starting over with a new screenname, getting a fresh start?

Agree with anon, if it's really because people are wary of you from the past, start fresh.

I also agree with anon. I turn 30 next month. I started writing fanfic when I was 14. I may have gotten just a *little* better since then LOL. I ended up taking a hiatus from fandom for a few years, by the time I came back, the show was over, people had changed (mostly) and no one even remembered who I was from back in the day.

Even if taking a few years off isn't feasible, you could just create a new s/n to post your stories under. Or find a new fandom with that new s/n. That's the beauty of the internet. You can reinvent yourself. I've changed s/n probably three or four times - for no other reason than I didn't feel like my s/n fit me anymore (of course, it doesn't help that I'd been using Twilight as a s/n since '99-00...then that book came out and suddenly I was getting messages about how much some fangirl loved that book and wanted me to gush over it to which I would reply "Uh. No." And then it started hurting my rep in fandom as people assumed I was a fan. So I had to ditch the name. I'm still a little sad about that, but I made sure to pick a new s/n from a book series I loved. I'm okay being associated as a fan of the Wheel of Time...)

I'm sorry. I went waaaaaayyy off topic.

tl;dr - Agree with anon. Pick a new name. It'll be okay :)

That's not very plausible in all fandoms, though. If you made a really big splash and/or the fandom isn't very big, you're writing style will probably get recognize, leading to you being called a sockpuppet and making things worse.

(no subject)

wauwy - 2012-09-22 09:20 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-09-22 14:10 (UTC) - Expand

I'm glad you're doing better, OP. Don't worry--I'm sure you'll get another chance eventually. :)

Bah, I'd say most everyone's done something douche-y on the internet in their noob days. You learned your lesson, that's what counts.

You could start over with a new account if you really think your reputation has caused people to not read your stuff.

Sock it up, OP.

OP, even if the concrit was given with the best will in the world, it still hurt you because that's where you were at the time--and that wasn't your fault, it was a misfortune you did nothing to cause. So please, don't use cruel, ugly epithets to describe yourself--you don't deserve that either. I'm glad you're getting help, and that things seem to be looking up for you now; as for fandom, if you were once a popular author, whatever it was that your fans loved about your work can be recaptured, better than ever now that you are feeling better.

While everyone here so far is being kind and loving, I have to say:

Dude, put on your big person pants and apologize. Saying "I'm sorry, I'm getting help and I'm much better" really does go a long way. Far more than ignoring it and wishing no one remembers.

At the very least, it won't make less people respond. You might even get more responses. Especially if you do respond to criticism with grace this time around. People seeing you being more mature about it will help bring them back around.

It'll take time but if you want it bad enough... *shrug*

I feel it can go either way. You make a big apology, people assume you're full of yourself, make fun of you, and write you off. You change your policies regarding concrit and act like you've really changed, you might get some people back.

It'd be like if E.L. James issued an apology to the Twilight fandom. Is it any better or worse to take one or the other approach? I tend to go off people's actions, not their words.

lol people do not take kindly to apologies on the internet, especially nowadays. That way madness lies.

Best bet is to start over with a sock.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-09-22 15:44 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

wauwy - 2012-09-22 15:46 (UTC) - Expand

Wow, this secret could be me except for the banning concrit.

That's why I usually try to encourage people to be open to criticism instead of getting upset over it. It's also why I tend to be against the self-deprecation of one's artwork. Cuz man, when you actually like your stuff and want to hear what people think about, nope, they still only remember the you that ragged on your own artwork and lashed out at any criticism. :\

Maybe you should ask for some criticism or beta readers. Maybe that would show that you've changed, and you could improve your writing at the same time. If you're on a blog site maybe you could make a post talking about this and apologize.

But whatever you do, try not to regret the past and focus on trying to improve yourself and keeping yourself from relapsing.

Cuz man, when you actually like your stuff and want to hear what people think about, nope, they still only remember the you that ragged on your own artwork and lashed out at any criticism. :\

I think a lot of it is people are told from a young age that bragging or having an overly healthy opinion of your work makes you look like a douche, but the other side of being a depressing self-deprecator is never really called out.

(no subject)

hiyami - 2012-09-22 10:51 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-09-22 22:07 (UTC) - Expand

Did I write this secret in my sleep?

Well, not exactly but. *hugs* OP, you have your reasons -and if other people don't understand them, then whatever. There are some things only you can figure out for yourself. So don't beat yourself up too much, thinking you should have done different, because you're you. And if you have something to change/want to change, do it. Sounds like you've already changed. You may feel better starting fresh, or taking more time for yourself -for me starting fresh didn't work out as well as I've seen it work out for others.

And if you feel like apologizing, do it. There's no shame in saying sorry, and even if the other party doesn't forgive -the onus is then on them. You tried, you did your part. You can't control others nor can you change the past. What matters is that you asked, and that you know you did.

It's good that you're feeling better. Starting under a new name might help, but in general it seems like people don't leave long comments very often anymore.

If it helps, OP, people with fresh eyes would probably read your stuff and like it, and if you explained that any old public stuff you said was years back and you're not acting like that anymore, I think I, for one, would give it a pass and keep reading.

Speaking as someone who screwed up badly with one group of people and didn't choose a new screen name approach (I didn't want to abandon a WIP), perhaps apologize to the relevant people if you haven't already, they may throw it back in your face but at least you made that effort, change your ways and keep your nose to the grindstone. It took a couple years but I did eventually live down my shittiness, build back a fanbase and make new friends. If you write fic well enough, there are always new readers who will give it and you a chance.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-09-22 05:36 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

wauwy - 2012-09-22 09:23 (UTC) - Expand

Wow, this sounds like someone who was in my fandom except she's too cocky to ever admit that anything is wrong with her writing, and she won't get the help that's sorely needed. But she did get psycho and chased a lot of her fans away even though she was somewhat popular.

Honestly, I'm not sure what you can do, OP. You could try to re-invent your online persona like some people have suggested, but then again you could get found out and the fallout from that would be bad I'm sure. Or you could try to apologize, but then people might just think you're attention whoring or something along those lines. Or that you're not being sincere.

I guess just make sure that the community knows that you've changed and can see the changes for themselves. Actions really do speak louder than words.

I am glad that you've gotten help though, OP.

It's good to hear you're better now :)
I think changing a nickname and not addmiting you have published your works in that fandom before could help. Ok, if you have characteristic writting style it would be not that effective, but it will be still easier than restoring your current name.
Plus, it's just fandom after all. People don't care that much about authors as they care about good stories.

w/e though, you were perfectly within your rights to ban concrit on your stories. We had this argument like, last week, so I shan't retread it. All of your other behavior aside, you shouldn't have to force yourself through extensive therapy to be able to participate in fandom because concrit causes you inexplicable anxiety.

Assholes who'll avoid your work because of it, you wouldn't want them around in the first place. js.

Also, just get a sock puppet and start over. Take advantage of the internet's unique features.

I'm kind of late to this, so I don't know if you'll see this, but I felt like leaving my own take anyway.

I'd just write out an apology for your previous behaviour without any kind of explanation for that behavior.

TBH, if you're not exaggerating about behaving kind of psycho, people who were around you then are probably going to find it a little difficult to trust you. If you explain that your behaviour was because of your mental health issues, people might accuse you of throwing yourself a pity party. Even if you feel like there are people out there who are owed an explanation, I'm just not sure that'd be a very effective way to go about it.

You'd probably come across more sincere with just a straight up post like:
I want to apologise for [any assholish behaviour that you engaged in]. I've come to realise that that was not a cool way to behave. I don't plan on behaving like that again in the future, and I'm sorry to the people who were hurt by my behaviour in the past.

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