[ SECRET POST #2093 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2093 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 063 secrets from Secret Submission Post #299.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - ships it ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Why? Facial hair is unattractive, baldness is unattractive, so those horrible men who shave their heads AND grow facial hair are THE WORST. Wouldn't fuck one with a ten-foot pole.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, it's much easier with a strap-on.

[visp]

Heehee!

[fingalsanteater]

Ha! We posted at the same time! I'm glad you were here for this. This is so perfect after that thread yesterday.

[insanenoodlyguy]

no way this isn't that secret poster.

[fingalsanteater]

I was thinking that. That's some serious trolling about such a ridiculous subject, though. I mean, so they've been posting about their hatred of beards just to prime us for this secret and the inevitable beardtroll response?

That's admirable, in a way, if true.

Wait, no. Do you mean this secret is the same secret poster from yesterday and beard troll is a different person? Because I like my theory better.

[insanenoodlyguy]

Whichever one helps you sleep best at night then. :P

Beard-hating "troll"

[(Anonymous)]

I posted the first comment on this secret, but I did not post the secret itself. I'm not trolling, though - I really do find most facial hair and especially bald men with beards (and bald men in general) to be pretty ugly.

Re: Beard-hating "troll"

[insanenoodlyguy]

were you the beard hating secret person from yesterday? Reveal yourself!

[(Anonymous)]

baby leave them all to me. I'll spend all day and all night fucking every single one. yum.

[gobbledigook]

Are you the same anon from yesterday? I love that you always get the first comment.

[intrigueing]

.

I wouldn't either.

[chardmonster]

It sounds terribly unweieldy. I once fucked a man with a yardstick and that was pretty much near the limits of my dexterity.

I could see you making it work, though. You'd have to balance the weight of the ten foot pole closer to the handle than the fucking end. This would make the fuckpole look more like a pool cue. Would you fuck him with a ten foot pool cue?

But you still have a potential weight issue. You want to avoid what both gun enthusiasts and fuckpoleists call "chick lean" which is a product of poor upper body strength. You might want to get a sort of y-frame upon which to balance the fucking pole if you're attempting a full ten feet. Another option is to attach a sort of piston-like dildo apparatus to the end of the pole. However, this is not quite fucking with a ten foot pole so much as ten foot pole assisted fucking.

Re: I wouldn't either.

[fingalsanteater]

You could also cheat and fuck him with 10 foot pole cut into five 2 foot poles. Technically, it's a 10 foot pole, but more manageable. The issue there would be how to go about it. Combine the poles into one monster fucklog? Switch the poles out so you've fucked him with each one?

Re: I wouldn't either.

[greenvelvetcake]

monster fucklog

Now I'm imagining a monster truck rally... but with fucklogs... on wheels.

Kinda like jousting.

Re: I wouldn't either.

[chardmonster]

Well yeah, I guess, if you wanted to be artless about it.

Anyone could fuck someone with a two foot pole. The ten foot pole requires more forethought and athleticism.

I'd have a little more respect if you, say, cut the pole down into two five-foot poles and did a sort of spitroast.

Re: I wouldn't either.

[insanenoodlyguy]

Obviously the real solution here is to bend the one poll into a u-shape in order to both make a more manageable shape (since your now only manipulating what's in essence a 5 foot pole, but still actually 10 foot) and allowing for hot double-pole-one-hole action.

[greenvelvetcake]

Methinks the anon doth protest too much.

[anonymouslyyours]

I think the anon is a bearded dude fishing for compliments/trying to figure out which F!S'ers is most likely to swoon when he PM's them a personal pic and request for dirty messages.

[velvet_mace]

Hey now, some for us find bald with beards very sexy.

[(Anonymous)]

Indeed. Helloooooo, Patrick Stewart.

[(Anonymous)]

I think the OP meant they couldn't tell Vin Diesel and The Rock apart otherwise.

[(Anonymous)]

hi ugly!troll

[(Anonymous)]

Bald head AND facial hair? Yes please. I'd take either of those two guys to be honest.