fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2125 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2125 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 124 secrets from Secret Submission Post #304.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat x 4 and counting. Bets? ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hmm. Well to be absolutely honest, that sounds rather like you are able to dish things out but you aren't able to take them. You want to be argumentative and tell people how wrong they are, but you don't want them arguing back with you and telling you the same thing. You want people to know you are opinionated and strident, but only if they agree with you. You want those who are upset by your opinions to not connect them to you. You are right to realize that the internet doesn't work that way. You can't just get the good, and ignore the bad.

There's really two ways to deal with this. First is to do all your arguing anon, so you can walk away and never have it follow you. Sure you won't get positive attention for your opinions but then you also won't have to deal with getting negative attention.

The second is to step back and think: yes, I have this opinion and I think these people are totally wrong, but do I really need to tell them about it? Is it worth the wank and aggravation? Haters gonna hate, and these people are nuts.

that sounds rather like you are able to dish things out but you aren't able to take them

Ding ding ding, we have a winner.

Or alternately, some people on the internet don't recognize polite disagreement and react with vitriol and shittiness when it isn't called for.

If people expect to see nastiness because they are nasty people, it's kind of hard to explain to them that "I don't see this the same way you do" is not the same as "OMG UR WRONG AND ALSO YOUR MOM".

While you are right, there are people who will take the most polite disagreement and react as if you've just killed their cat and peed on their cornflakes. I've been on the receiving end of that. I don't think that's what's being talked about here. Polite disagreement usually doesn't come with a whole bunch of all caps and key smashing rage, which this OP is saying is her natural reaction to people stating things she doesn't agree with.

I applaud the OP for stopping herself from unleashing her rage on the internet, but if she's going to be flashing unpopular opinions around people who have already stated they feel very strongly about a subject, she's going to have to expect that they probably aren't going to agree with her, and may not be very polite about it.

Same anon, who happens to be the OP's sister/email screener. The specific problem is with one of the ONTD-umbrella comms, where conversations regularly go from polite conversation to headbanging shit-slinging wtfery (sometimes even from the same person!) with very little notice.

Nothing is worse than having 7 comments to one of your comments of which 3 are positive, 2 are gifspam or otherwise content-free, and 2 are incoherent NO U-ing. She doesn't get me to do it all the time, just when she fears it's about to get to the incoherent rage-inducing stage, and often recruits me to pre-read comments to make sure she's not coming across as more argumentative than she intends to be. OP can be fairly socially awkward sometimes, but she really does try hard not to start wank on the internet for no reason.

Oh god -- You know, I'm pretty tough but I won't go near the ONTD comms. Those places are the absolute rank arm-pit of Fandom, and I say this as someone who used to hang out in Fandom Wank. There are so many better places to hang out on the internet.

Hi5-a former Fandom Wank-er! I once made a really great fandom friend when we both made f_w and followed the thread to the comm... Those were strange and magical days.

But yeah, ONTD is terrifying, but Omona is pretty much the least-scary place in English language K-Pop fandom. God, that is a fucked up thing to say, but it's true. AllKpop and tumblr are... Infinitely worse.

wtb sane English language Korean-entertainment fandom. But haha, that is never going to happen.

Everything I have ever heard about the K-pop fandom has made me run away in fear. From the absolute shit way the stars are treated by their fans (is it true one of them was hit with a brick in the head by a fan?), to the way they are treated like utterly disposable product by their management, it just makes me cringe. I didn't realize that the English speaking fandom was awful as well. If ONTD is considered the sanest place... that's a really, really bad sign.

The artists have some pretty quality nutjob fans, it's true, and the culture of fannishness in South Korea itself is kind of baffling verging on terrifying, but they're actually treated pretty well when it comes to the kinds of musicians they are- All of them are encouraged to get degrees that will be helpful to them when they're no longer famous for dancing and singing, which are paid for by their record labels, and SM, the biggest of the idol labels, just issued stock options to most of their artists that have been with the company for more than a year.

It's also worth noting that the training process for idols, which regularly goes on for years before a band/artist debuts (if they do debut) is structured like certain kinds of lawsuits in the US- The company only charges for the months/years of intensive lessons and sometimes room and board, if an artist actually debuts. It essentially counts as part of the advance for their first promotion, but if the would-be idol doesn't debut, the company eats all of the cost.

One of the really interesting things about the Korean music industry, and one of the reasons that I've stuck around despite the rabid batshittery of most of fandom, is that there are a lot of very talented idols who are involved in the back end (lyrics/composition/styling/promotion) at a really young age, and you don't see that very often in pop music.

Also I'm a sucker for rap music that isn't immersed in all of the problematic authenticity-obsessed bullshit that is endemic to the US, and I think Korean's a really pleasing language for singing/rapping in. But yeah, the fandom is n-u-t-s.

Omona and Arama are cesspools, honestly. I followed both communities for a hot minute before I realized that it just wasn't worth the headache. Although it is occasionally fun to go check out the bigger wankfests, if only because it makes me feel completely sane by comparison.

That sounds completely reasonable. A couple of close friends and I do something similar to that and act as pre-readers for one another sometimes when posting responses to things on LJ or Tumblr. Sometimes it's good to have someone else to look things over, just so you know you aren't letting your frustration get the better of you and descending into wank-territory.

Same anon. She does the same thing for me when I get especially rant-y, though she enjoys making fun of my intense Gryffindor characteristics when I know that nothing good will come of a fandom interaction and I just can't help but do it anyway. Sigh. Sometimes being a grown up means knowing that you are doing a dumb but doing it anyway.

(I think the world would be a better place if everyone had a friend they trusted enough to pre-read their comments. If nothing else there would be fewer angry people on the internet that do not understand having friends.)

Good to hear you've got each other's backs! I totally feel you on sometimes just needing to say something, even if you know nothing good will likely come of it (or that whomever you're addressing really isn't going to bother listening to your point). I've gotten a bit better at curbing my urges, but sometimes the pull is far too strong.

(Same here! If anything, it at least forces you to take a few minutes, step back, and get a bit of a breather before posting. There have even been a few times when I've asked someone to read something over for me, then gotten enough of a break from the initial irritation to decide that maybe I don't need to post after all. Half the problem with the Internet nowadays is the immediacy of it all - it makes dogpiling people a lot easier.)

[ SECRET POST #2125 ]

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