Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2012-10-28 03:33 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2012-10-28 03:33 pm
[ SECRET POST #2126 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2126 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 106 secrets from Secret Submission Post #304.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Annnnnd ties are cut, and I GOTTA BITCH TO SOMEONE
(Anonymous) 2012-10-29 01:40 am (UTC)(link)So, once upon a time, when I was in college, I hung out with the Buddhist club. I never truly became Buddhist, but I find it fascinating, and I dig people who walk that path. The club's leader was a very cool guy who had thrown himself wholeheartedly into the religion. He had a wealth of knowledge and was a fantastic spiritual adviser, regardless whether one was Buddhist or not. Honestly, I looked up to him. So did everyone else.
And then, one day, he found Jesus. Okay; not such a big deal. People convert sometimes, and that's fine and dandy. However, a year after his conversion, he called together everyone who had been in the Buddhist club with him and gave all of us copies of the New Testament. He said something along the lines of, "I mislead you, and I feel really bad about that. Now that I've found the truth, I'd like to share it with you." That was the first sign that things were changing for the worst.
I stayed in loose contact with him over the years, primarily through Facebook. I congratulated him when he got married, and then again when he became a father. But I also watched him become increasingly...extreme in his views. Much of it I could chalk up to him just, well, throwing himself wholeheartedly into the religion, as he'd done with Buddhism. When he posted something ridiculous, I'd roll my eyes and scroll on by -- although over the years his views have made me increasingly uncomfortable.
Until today.
Today, he posted an image that read: "Planned Parenthood: giving women pretty pink shirts and tricking them into thinking that 'female liberation' means murdering unborn children." (Some of the wording might have been slightly different; I no longer have access to the image and don't care to find it).
SO. A) Abortion existed before PP and will exist after PP is gone. B) The vast majority of services PP offers are not abortion. C) It's really, REALLY offensive to imply that women are so stupid that an organization can trick them into holding a particular position by giving them t-shirts. I mean, what the fuck? What the ever-loving fuck?
I was absolutely disgusted, and I still am, and I can't believe this is the same man I looked up to six years ago. That man would never have posted something so inflammatory and irrational. That man is clearly gone and is not coming back. So I'm done. I've cut him out. And given that he's been steadily moving in a direction that bothers me, I think this is a "it had to happen sometime" sort of thing. Baaaaah! But I'm so PISSSSSSSED! And yet, I'm also sad, because now the door on that truly pleasant part of my life is closed and locked for good.
So. Ever cut someone out of your life because you just couldn't take their views anymore? Does it strike you as petty or unfair, or as justifiable?
Re: Annnnnd ties are cut, and I GOTTA BITCH TO SOMEONE
(Anonymous) 2012-10-29 02:07 am (UTC)(link)You were friends with this person, but they've changed. People move on all the time anyway, and do you really want to stick around with someone that makes you rage? He sounds creepy as hell.
Re: Annnnnd ties are cut, and I GOTTA BITCH TO SOMEONE
(Anonymous) 2012-10-29 02:10 am (UTC)(link)Then he started posting links to MRA blogs. Then he started straight up bashing women. I asked him what was up in as nice of a way as I could manage, and I got a whole lot of mansplaining "Nice Guy" bullshit as a response, complete with insults about working women (my mother), women who've had abortions (my sister), and women who don't plan to have children ever, much less wait on a husband (me.) And that was it, point of no return reached. I haven't spoken to him since, and I don't plan to ever again.
The cut ties seemed justifiable to me, because his views were hateful towards me, my family, my friends, and others. I need not that kind of ignorance in my day to day life.
Re: Annnnnd ties are cut, and I GOTTA BITCH TO SOMEONE
I think it's pretty justified. I actually think anything you gotta do to keep yourself happy and sane is justified. This guy was causing way more grief and upset than he was happiness, so why keep him around? Seriously, good on you.
Re: Annnnnd ties are cut, and I GOTTA BITCH TO SOMEONE
(Anonymous) 2012-10-29 04:06 am (UTC)(link)Sometimes it's more important to regain your mental or emotional health than keeping a friendship that's making more hurt than anything.
Out of topic, but I honestly cannot understand people who were fisrt into Budhism and them say it's a very evil or mistaken thing when they convert to Christianism. Basically both religions preaches the same: love is the center of life, treat others with love. The form is the only thing that changes, so I don't get this kind of attitude.
Re: Annnnnd ties are cut, and I GOTTA BITCH TO SOMEONE
(Anonymous) 2012-10-29 05:28 am (UTC)(link)It started when we were in college, so some of it could be chalked up to merely growing older and no longer sharing so many formative life experiences because we went to different schools in different cities. I think the real breaking point, though, was when she lost one of her parents under pretty distressing circumstances. She suddenly got very politically conservative, which was a real 180 from how she used to be and how her parents were (it was also odd because she really wasn't in a position to benefit from many of her new viewpoints), and also lost a lot of her previous ambition and became weirdly paranoid. She started seeing and then married this guy who seemed quite nice, but wasn't at all the kind of person I would have thought would interest her. The whole thing was bewildering, but I suppose the fact that I was no longer seeing her practically every day made the change seem more dramatic than it probably was.
As for your friend, yeah, it's sad when things like this happen, but if this guy no longer has most of the qualities that attracted you to him as a friend, there's not much use in trying to maintain the friendship for old times sake. He might not see you the same way anymore, either.